After reading your editorial “Opinions” in the November 26 issue, I realized why I avoid reading your column as often as possible. The combination of sarcasm, ignorance and personal insult you display just reinforces my opinion that your newspaper is good for nothing but fishwrap, and I would hesitate using it for that purpose suspecting that the bad ink would contaminate the fish.

It is apparent that your criticism of the City Council’s efforts to obtain a governmental channel and a studio, equipment and training for community members from Falcon reflects your bias and prejudice in favor of Falcon that emanates, obviously, from the revenues you generate from their advertising and the insecurity you feel for competition from television news as another source of community information.

If you were informed, or if [you] are and choose to ignore it, you know that Falcon, in the franchise agreement they assumed from their predecessor, expressly promised to provide studio, equipment and training to the citizens of Malibu in exchange for the privilege to conduct their business and collect subscriber fees and make a (healthy) profit from our community members. As reported in the Los Angeles Times, Falcon has the highest profit margin in the cable industry: Malibu has the highest monthly rates in the country (and they charge $10 more than other cable companies for pay-per-view events) and we are their victims.

Since they have failed to live up to their contractual agreement for over eight years, the liquidated damages provision in that contract assesses a $500.00 per day penalty which is still accruing. Since you were a licensed attorney at some point in your life, you should not be afraid or ignorant about the words “liquidated damages.”

Instead of bringing that fact to the attention of the community and seeking, as a good newspaper reporter would, straight answers to the hard question of why Falcon has violated the mandatory terms of the agreement and has yet to pay over $1,700,000 in damages owed, you object to the City Council taking the initiative by budgeting 10 percent of that amount to give access to all citizens of the community to the television medium, in the spirit of the FCC mandates, and you fail to give credit where due: to the first City Council to have the guts to send a message to Falcon on the eve of the expiration and renewal of their franchise. Shame on you!

Then you get personal by saying that a studio would benefit only “Nidia Birenbaum . . .and a few others.” Would the few others include all of the students who participate in sports events at our local schools (previously produced programming by Nidia Birenbaum pro bono) which Falcon now refuses to provide coverage for without payment by subscribers? Have you worked tirelessly for no pay as a volunteer on a City Commission as Nidia has, to benefit the whole community? The (lack of) nerve of you to single her out for criticism when you yourself have done nothing to advance the interests of the citizens.

Is it so onerous on the corporate behemoth Falcon/TCI to get a camera and a small studio with equipment with weekend classes to train and certify any member of the community who wishes to produce or learn a trade in television? Currently, Nidia Birenbaum, Gena Chanel and Beverly Taki travel to studios as far away as Marina del Rey, Westchester and Hollywood which are provided for by MediaOne to their subscribers, at little or minimum cost. Would many more members of the community be willing to learn and produce programming for airing locally if they had the facilities and opportunity Falcon promised, yet failed and refused to provide, here in our community?

Perhaps some of the Real Estate related business people, besides Beverly, and the Realtors she frequently presents, could also express their views and opinions through local production facilities; along with surfers, environmentalists, religious advocates, community activists, and a broad spectrum of our community, including our youth and elderly, that may wish to participate. But no, Arnold York just does not think it’s really needed.

Your objection to the governmental channel is, in my opinion, based on the fact that you are not pleased with the City Council because your personal favorite candidates have been forced into early retirement or just have not made the grade (votes). Well, too bad, Arnold, the citizenry of Malibu know how self-interested and insecure you really are and have been in espousing your bad opinions; but fortunately, our elected leaders and active citizens know better and do more for us with far less expected in return.

Daring you print this!

Sam Birenbaum

ISRAEL — Over the past several days I have had the honor of traveling to Israel with President Clinton and several representatives and senators from both parties. We have met with leaders in Israel and Palestine, and my friend and Republican colleague, Jon Fox, and I spent time with victims of Palestinian terror. I am more committed than ever to finding a real and secure peace for Israel.

There has been no lack of talk about the debates in Washington, but there are probably fewer Monica jokes being told here than in the Capitol. The president is making sure those of us voting against impeachment are back in time to make the vote on Thursday — we will be traveling on Air Force One.

I have heard from a number of you via e-mail, fax, letter and phone about impeachment. Like an overwhelming majority of you, I think the president’s behavior was reprehensible — but not impeachable.

This trip to the Middle East serves as reminder that as the House of Representatives and the American public consider the fate of the president, we must not lose sight of the serious problems at home and abroad that still need to be addressed.

Congressman Brad Sherman

You’ve done “The Nutcracker” and the office party. The tree’s up, and it’s time to abandon the agenda while you’re still up. Three things are left to do before Dec. 25 — give to charity, bake a few cookies and stay put.

If you must leave the house, take the family Sunday to Our Lady of Malibu for the free concert, “A Jazz Classic Christmas,” starring vocalist Merry Clayton, harpist Carmen Dragon, saxophonist Curtis Amy and cellist Marston Smith.

Dragon is known for soothing the soul year-round. Talk to the woman a minute and you hear soft, celestial and spiritual notes of harp in her voice. Although she’d put it differently, the message of the longtime Malibuite and guiding light behind the second annual concert is, “You ain’t heard nothin’ yet.”

Backed by keyboard, flute, bassoon and percussion, Dragon assembles an elegant quartet of performers for the expected tunes, “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas,” “The Christmas Song” (Chestnuts roasting…) and “Joy to the World.” What’s unexpected are the arrangements.

“I condensed some of my father’s full 80-piece orchestra scores down to chamber arrangements for eight pieces,” Dragon explains. “The synthesizer handles the transposition of instruments such as trumpets and horns for keyboard.”

Carmen Dragon, Sr., the late Glendale Symphony maestro and film composer, conducted holiday concerts at the Hollywood Bowl and at the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion for nearly three decades. “It’s nice to be able to carry on those traditions,” she says.

Christmas traditions evoke cherished memories for pop, rock and gospel diva Merry Clayton. “My father was a bishop in New Orleans,” says Clayton, whose two brothers and a sister are also ministers.

“It was a time of making sure that people who didn’t have, had. With hot chocolate in thermoses, riding in the car, we’d go as a family to deliver baskets and turkeys. It’s what you did.”

The bishop often told his daughter, who was born Christmas day, “You came to us on Christmas, baby, and life hasn’t been the same since.”

When the family moved to Los Angeles, Clayton sang in the Morin Moriah Baptist Church choir with Darlene Love, lead singer of The Blossoms. At 14, she debuted with Bobby Darin at the Coconut Grove. The teen-ager recorded with Darin, Elvis Presley, Barbra Streisand, Peggy Lee, Doris Day, Della Reese and more.

For five years Clayton appeared with Ray Charles as a member of The Raelettes. The young songbird took to Charles’ musical director, Curtis Amy; the couple was married in 1970.

Recording highlights include four solo albums; solo, duet and back-up for the Rolling Stones’ “Let It Bleed” and for Carole King’s “Tapestry;” vocals for Joe Cocker (five albums) and Bob Dylan. Clayton is featured on soundtracks for the Stones’ film, “Performance;” Robert Altman’s “Brewster McCloud;” the rock opera, “Tommy” and the 14 million-selling “Dirty Dancing.”

On stage, Clayton created the Acid Queen for the original London production of “Tommy.” She appeared in the features “Maid to Order” (with Malibuite Michael Ontkean) and “Blame It On The Night” and as a series regular on “Cagney & Lacey.”

In 1996, Clayton, Darlene Love and Marianne Faithful celebrated a three-month, sold-out engagement at New York’s Rainbow Room. Her touring, symphony and concert dates, both here and abroad, are extensive.

Jazzman Curtis Amy came to Los Angeles in 1955. He remembers holidays back home in Houston to mean good cheer, good food and lots of it. “Are you kidding?” says Amy, “It’s Texas; everything is big.

“For Christmas, my grandmother made a special chocolate cake she knew I loved,” he says. “With a half inch of icing. My mother let me scrape the batter, then I’d clean out the icing bowl.” Amy savors the sweetness of half a century ago as though he were tasting it that moment.

In 1960, the tenor and soprano saxist brought a blues background to Pacific Jazz Records. He made six albums for the label, the last of which, “Katanga,” was reissued in October. “Katanga” joins a series of legendary West Coast recordings that Blue Note revisits.

Following “Sounds of Broadway, Sounds of Hollywood” for Palomar, Amy recorded “Mustang” on Verve; a reissue is expected next year. In 1994, he returned to the studio with “Peace for Love” on the Fresh Sounds label. “Peace for Love” liner notes look back on Amy’s solo contributions to “Tapestry,” to the Doors’ “Soft Parade” and “Touch Me” and to the albums of Lou Rawls, Marvin Gaye and Smokey Robinson, among others.

For this concert, cellist Marston Smith departs from the popular format. Smith will perform unique Celtic compositions upon a custom-made, electric cello. His full Renaissance costume promises to be a sure kid-pleaser.

The Malibuite is featured on albums of more than a dozen recording stars and with the band, Earth, Wind and Fire. Smith’s studio work includes soundtracks for “Out of Africa,” “Officer and a Gentleman,” “Poltergeist” and “The Right Stuff,” to name a few, as well as recording for many TV series. Concert credits include work with Air Supply, Burt Bacharach, George Benson, Jackson Browne, John Denver and Dionne Warwick.

The quartet rehearsed at the musician’s union, Local 47, in Hollywood. All music is courtesy of the Recording Industries’ Music Performance Trust Funds.

“A Jazz Classic Christmas,” Dec. 20, 7:30 p.m., Our Lady of Malibu Catholic Church, 3625 Winter Cyn. Rd., 456-2361.

Much against my better judgment I finally forced myself to watch the House Judiciary Committee go through its machinations. It was pretty much as I had suspected. The Republicans have all turned into moralists. A lie is a lie is a lie and can never be retracted, or forgiven, or, in the words of a formerly great American, can now never be placed in a context because we can never tolerate a liar in the White House, ever, ever, ever, particularly a Democratic liar. Counterbalancing that are the Democrats who have now elevated themselves to the level of constitutional scholars. As I understand their defense, it’s either, “It wasn’t such a big lie,” or “Everybody lies about getting a little on the side,” or “So what’s the big deal, it’s not an impeachable offense, heck, even Jefferson did it.” Take your pick.

You can only come away from the hearings believing if the country isn’t in safe hands, it certainly is in predictable hands. Simultaneously, I’ve gotten a series of faxes, e-mails, letters and whatnots exhorting me to let all the congressmen know that if they vote for impeachment, we intend to take vengeance of biblical portions on those who defy the will of the people.The people’s will is, of course, conveyed by those who send you the e-mail or whatever.

Which set me thinking about who wins and who loses in this battle and who is the most at risk.

It starts with the obvious: Bill Clinton, a competent man, very bright, a reasonably capable president, who probably will be remembered by history as a sex addict, at a historical time when that’s a No No, and most probably will be the butt of Monica jokes into the third millennium. After six years in office, this isn’t much of a finale.

Hillary Clinton: It’s not quite clear to me why Hillary has become Saint Hillary, Our Lady of Everlasting Fortitude, but clearly she has. She could very well end up in the U.S. Senate after walking across the waters of Lake Michigan.

Henry Hyde: Try as he might, the avuncular Mr. Hyde keeps trying to pretend that he’s really Dr. Jekyll, but nobody, not even he, believes it any more. If he’s a highly respected and revered member of Congress, I hate to think about what the Dumbos are like. He’ll end up as a silly, pathetic footnote in some chapter of somebody’s history book.

The Democrats: This is a very iffy guess. Assuming the House votes impeachment, and I have to assume they probably will, there is then the prospect of a long trial in the Senate, which the Democrats will force over into the year 2000 and the primaries. It’s a gamble, but if 62 percent think this is silly now, what’s the percentage going to be in the year 2000, particularly if the economy takes a nosedive. If it gets really bad, Clinton will quit, despite what he says, and the Republicans will have to run against President Gore.

The Republicans: My view is that they’re highly at risk because the Republican Right apparently is calling the shots and the others don’t have the guts or the numbers to resist. The shots they’re calling may sell like crazy in Georgia, or Mississippi, or the mountain states. The problem is that they don’t resonate very well in the Northeast, or the Rust Belt, or the Heartland or the West Coast. I wouldn’t be surprised to see a bunch of Republican congressmembers changing parties the way the opposite happened after the Reagan victory. Bottom line is that when the Republican Congressmen vote for impeachment, they are practically guaranteeing that the House will swing back to the Democrats in 2000 or 2002.

The real losers: That us folks. It’s important to all of us that there be a real check and balance in our system. This whole sorry charade lowers the bar on how the Congress relates to the presidency. Clinton will be gone, and the new rule will be, “If you have the votes, stick it to them.”

I guess I’m showing my age when I say there really was a time when we had a bipartisan foreign policy.

There was a time when there were national leaders and party leaders and they were respected by their opposition.

There was a time when the people with the votes understood this condition wasn’t necessarily permanent and that whatever they did unto others was going to be done back onto them.

I know we need a strong two-party system because its existence serves as a break on each party’s excesses, and without it we spin out of control and end up in fratricidal wars.

I’m hoping this will all end sensibly. We the nation need it.

But frankly, from what I’ve seen so far, I doubt it.

Re: Letter from Tom Bates, Dec. 10. I hardly believe that my symbolic action of dumping four gallons of water on a model (not one drop of that water got on any person) can compare to the “Brown Shirts,” 15,000 strong by Oct. 1923 who as early Nazis entered meetings, attacked participants, broke up furniture, then would withdraw leaving the hall a shambles. I identify more with “The White Rose” a group of college students who in WWII Munich, Germany, printed and distributed anti-Nazi leaflets. They tried to urge fellow German citizens to rebel against the Nazis.

95 percent of California’s historical wetlands are gone. I wanted to call attention to the Malibu Lagoon historical wetlands flood plain. I have had extensive nonviolence training over 20 years and although my action was shocking, I meant no harm — love your enemy, hate the problem. And peace on earth, good will towards all of life, including the endangered and threatened species who are rapidly losing their habitats.

Valerie Sklarevsky

Malibuites are as American as English muffins and French toast. On Dec. 4, Malibu’s Washington Mutual Bank hosted the 26th annual Navy League Malibu Christmas Party benefiting the U.S. Marine Corps Toys for Tots Program. Host branch manager Linda Willison explained to the Navy Leaguers that Major Bill Hendricks founded the Marine Corps Reserve Toys for Tots Program in Los Angeles, Calif., in 1947 and that the first year 5000 toys were collected during the campaign before Christmas. This holiday season year over 25 million toys will be collected. In 1948, continued Navy Leaguer Olivia Thornton, the United States Marine Corps Reserve adopted the Toys for Tots program as a nationwide community service project conducted by local reserve units across the nation. Walt Disney designed the now famous Toys for Tots train logo and created the first national Toys for Tots poster. These Christmas posters have become a recognized part of the annual program, and through the years have featured such notable characters as Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, Dennis the Menace, Bugs Bunny and the Road Runner.

I was captured in conversation by ex Marine Col. Vince Andoloro, along with Chris Nielson, Claire Christenson, Ron Merriman, Gordon Arford, Mary Bowman, Ed Niles and Kay Niles. Vince informed the crew that he personally had knowledge that Malibu’s newly appointed Rhetoric Commission has just announced an arrangement calling for English to be the official language of the city of Malibu — rather than Spanish (the other possibility). The way I remember the conversation, Andoloro stated that as part of the negotiations, the commission conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement. Thus the commission had accepted, a five-year phase-in of new rules that would apply to the language as applied to city of Malibu forms, inner government memos, correspondence, e-mail and other city business. The commission has classified the language as Malibu-English.

The City of Malibu Rhetoric Commission Five Year Plan is as follows:

In year one, the soft ‘c’ would be replaced by the ‘s’. Sertainly, this will make the Malibu sivil servants jump with joy. The hard ‘c’ will be replaced by ‘k’. This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan now have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome ‘ph’ is replaced by ‘f’. This should reduse ‘fotograf’ by 20 percent.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Malibuites will be enkouraged when applying for city permits to remove the double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent ‘e’s in the language is disgrasful and we should eliminat them. By year four, Malibuites wil be reseptiv to lingwistik korektions such as replasing ‘th’ with ‘z’ and ‘w’ with ‘v’ (saving mor keyboard spas). During ze fifz year, ze unesesary ‘o’ kan be dropd from vords kontaining ‘ou’ and similar changes vud of kors be applied to ozer kombinations of leters. After zis fifz year, ve vil have a reli sensibil riten styl. Zer vil be no more trubls or difikultis and evrirum vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer.

Thus, Vince Andoloro remarks, in 2004 the fantasy will finally turn to reality as Malibuites will finally be able to communicate with their city government in a language common to all Malibu citizens.

Tom Fakehany (Fake a knee)