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Going to the doggerels

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In Letters to the Editor in Surfside News on Sept. 24, a piece of infantile doggerel was published that appears to have been scraped off a toilet stall from a public restroom. The letter, entitled, “Poem Polemic,” is written by P. G’Bur, who does not appear to be a registered voter in Malibu. In my opinion, it may well have been written by someone other than the stated author. Using the English language to demean and savage our mayor and others with such statements as “she’ll snatch your first born” and “set fire to your hair” is beyond loathing. Whoever wrote this piece of adolescent prattle has the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair. How does mean-spirited deprecation of our neighbors help our struggle for slow growth, protection of the environment, and prevent PCH from becoming a 27-mile parking lot?

I ask the question: “Will Carolyn Van Horn, Tom Hasse and Walt Keller repudiate such gutter slander?” I call upon them to renounce this debasing defamation. I find this type of political barbarism beneath the contempt of all of us who have worked so hard in election after election to help Carolyn, Walt and Tom get elected. I will be ashamed if any of our elected leaders stand by and do not denounce this personal slander. If Carolyn, Tom and Walt are silent on this issue, as a diligent supporter of all three, I can only say that their silence will be deafening. I am only reminded of what Joseph Welsh said to Senator McCarthy during the Army hearings in 1954: “Have you no shame?”

Ken Kearsley

Shadow boxing in the dark

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I must have blinked and missed it. Sometime, somewhere, something happened. Mayor Joan House turned into a bad guy, at least according to the Sufside News “letter to the editor” writer named P. G’Bur.

You might well wonder why it is people get upset by a letter to the editor, particularly from someone no one ever heard of, who doesn’t appear to be a registered voter here in town and, as far as I know, has never participated in anything in Malibu.

People are upset because they’ve seen it all before and they know what comes next. It starts with a letter to the editor from someone no one seems to know very well or at all, always includes a little character assassination, usually a few marginal lies and a few outright distortions. It always ends up telling you who the newly elected bad guy is and how that person is busy consorting with the evil empire, which is (and you can fill in the blank — the Malibu Bay Company, Pepperdine University, the Kissel Company, The Malibu Times or just some typically generic land rapers/high rise developers who want us to be Miami Beach).

The attack almost always includes the charge that there is someone behind the scenes manipulating the strings. In this case, the chosen puppet master is Sharon Barovsky, which is sort of an interesting charge. I’ve known Sharon a number of years, and if there is one thing that she isn’t, it’s some behind-the-scenes person. I’ve never known her to be hesitant to tell anyone, straight out, exactly what she thinks, and what she supports and what she opposes. So what’s this all about?

Why are the political waters of Malibu continuously being polluted and who’s doing it? Go back for a minute and think about the previous enemies of the people.

First there was Larry Wan, with Sara Wan behind him manipulating the strings. The story was that both were out to sell out to the developers. So what happened? He went on to become a statewide officer of an environmental organization dedicated to protecting the coast, and she became the vice chair of the California Coastal Commission.

Next it was that land raper, Malibu Bay Company puppet Mike Caggiano, who went into the environmental tourism business in Costa Rica.

Then it was Jeff Jennings who was the designated pug ugly. A guy who was probably less personally political than anyone who ever sat on this council became the sinister political manipulator and all around environment-hating bad guy.

Well, this time out, Tom Hasse beat Jeff Jennings. Everything should now be OK. After all, they (Keller-Van Horn-Hasse) supported Barovsky, maybe not with great enthusiasm, but certainly over Jennings. After all, Joan had previously run on a ticket with Walt and Carolyn, so it would be fair to say all were in agreement. So what happened? Why all this sudden nastiness? There is nothing particularly hot on the political agenda right now that I can see.

I’ll tell you why.

Normally this garbage doesn’t start until we get within hailing distance of the election booth, which in this case would be the year 2000. But Malibu is changing while America is changing, and I’m fearful for the worst. Usually people get elected, then spend most of their time trying to govern and, at the very end of their term, turn back into a pit bull in anticipation of the election. Not so anymore. Not so in Washington, in Sacramento or, unfortunately, in Malibu. Today it’s one continuous election campaign. There is no longer a rational middle, there is no longer a bipartisan approach to problem solving. It’s all pretending, posturing, attacking and very little problem solving.

A case in point. The council just spent three hours at the last council meeting fighting over the contract for Charmlee Park. Why so long? Because they don’t trust each other. Because they have no shared vision. Because there are a few people involved in the negotiation who have taken it upon themselves to decide how it all should be, and the rest of us be dammed. And most of all because Walt Keller and Carolyn Van Horn are planning on running a candidate of their choosing against Joan House. They’re beginning the process of softening her up and every issue becomes a battleground for the election.

Well, I’m issuing a challenge to P. G’Bur and all of his or her ilk. Come out of the shadows. Show yourself. If you want to attack someone, go ahead, but we want to interview you. Who are you? What have you done in your life? Why should we give you any credence? Why do you attack anonymously?

We’re looking forward to meeting you.

Court of last appeal?

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The following letter was sent to Governor Wilson

I am a resident of Malibu and currently serve on the Board of Directors for the Malibu Road Home Owners’ Association. I am writing this letter in hopes of expediting the repairs with regard to the current road conditions of Pacific Coast Highway.

It appears as though CalTrans has misled the business owners and residents in Malibu in claiming three lanes would be available during peak traffic times. Although this would not completely alleviate the problem, it would help to ease the traffic flow during peak hours. This has never come to pass.

Being a home owner and resident in this area, these land closures are a constant challenge during commute hours. However, the problem is much more complex than just an inconvenience to people within the community.The economic future of Malibu and the safety of its residents are truly in jeopardy unless something is done.

This persistent traffic problem is causing a severe economic impact on the businesses in Malibu. Many of them are struggling through the usually busy summer months and will not be able to endure the winter rains and added road problems. As you are aware, Malibu is notorious for mud slides and flooding in the winter and firestorms in the fall. If we had a fire like those we have experienced twice in the last five years, the results would be disastrous. Since PCH is the major artery in this area, residents would not be able to escape and emergency crews would be unable to get in. Since Malibu does not have its own hospital or 24-hour emergency care facility, the current situation for handling medical emergencies is simply unacceptable.

As a community, we are asking you to utilize your power as our Governor to open at least a third lane on Pacific Coast Highway. The problems on this transportation route impact the entire state through the loss of sales tax revenue generated by the Malibu business community. We fear the continued closure of these lanes will cause great economic peril and a potential loss of life due to the lack of an escape route.

Thank you for your prompt attention and response to this matter.

Cindy Schofield

Pretending it’s the big one

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A simulated earthquake Friday tested the city government’s ability to handle a catastrophic disaster, and there was general agreement among those participating that much more training is required before Malibu is adequately prepared.

The earth began to shake, in everyone’s imagination, around noon, with the quake’s epicenter in Long Beach along the Inglewood-Newport fault. A make-believe area 100 miles long and 30 miles wide was affected.

Volunteers called City Hall with all kinds of anticipated emergencies. Everything from loved ones lost and houses collapsed to gas leaks and roads blocked. The imagined mayhem outside was matched by real chaos inside the City Hall conference room, which was converted into an emergency operations center.

City staffers, sheriff’s deputies, firefighters and American Red Cross representatives filled the center. Each group was talking at the same time. Phones were constantly ringing. People had to shout when making general announcements. All the while, runners brought reports of the latest emergencies.

Many of the reports, written out by volunteers answering phones down the hall, made no sense to city staffers. “They’re not writing clearly enough and not asking the right questions,” said city Administrative Clerk Nancy Steiner. Looking over one report, Kim Collins, project manager for Public Works, said in exasperation, “I know it’s a fire, but God knows where.”

Emergencies were updated on a board so everyone in the room could keep track of the latest developments: “1:30 — Rush on Heathercliff market,” “1:50 — Oil tanker on fire — 4-6 miles out to sea,” “2:00 BLDNG COLLAPSE — SEADRIFT COVE.” Throughout the mock disaster, a television in the center broadcast live footage of Hurricane Georges ripping through Florida.

By 2:30 p.m., City Manager Harry Peacock admitted, “We’re overwhelmed,” and he officially declared a state of emergency, whereby “mutual aid” is requested from outlying areas.

In a real earthquake, Peacock said, no phones would be working because power lines would be down. The center would receive information from police, firefighters, sheriffs and residents with HAM radios and walkie-talkies.

The American Red Cross would care for residents forced to flee their homes. “At this point, we would have been activating a shelter, picking a location — either on Bluffs Park, the Community Center in Point Dume or the high school — depending on what’s going on,” said Red Cross representative Ted Ravinett.

With Malibu located along the coast, there would be a danger of a tsunami, or tidal wave, and soon the following update was posted, “2:50 — HIGH SURF — HOUSES IN OCEAN — Monte Nido.” Peacock used his God-like powers to pull the plug on the earthquake at 3 p.m.

The most important information during a real emergency, according to Peacock, is a “damage assessment in the field. We’re lucky. We have an entire fire and sheriff’s department at our disposal. Our biggest problem is a lack of public works people.”

After the quake was called off, city accounting technician Erik Porter complained, “This was much more chaos than actual training.” It was decided that next time, phone data would be collected with more precision. Also, there would be updates on what rescue equipment remained available, because “There was no tracking of what resources are used up,” explained Collins.

Instead of playing out an entire emergency situation, some staffers preferred to hold small, focused training sessions in the future. “We had no idea what we were on top of and what we weren’t on top of,” said Planning Director Craig Ewing. He hoped next time we rehearse in slow motion.”

Other staffers thought the fast and furious pace was beneficial, being more true to life. “We’re learning from all of this . . . That is why we have drills,” said City Engineer Rick Morgan.

Peacock sensed among the city staff “frustration at not feeling more confident at what we have to accomplish,” he said. “We’ve got a long ways to go.”

Speeding to doomsville

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I have been living in Monte Nido now for about a year and a half.

During that time there have been three traffic fatalities in Malibu

Canyon that I know of. Does anyone know the actual number of

people who have died on this road? Something tells me the real

number might deter me from ever using the road again.

Since moving into the canyon, I have become a huge fan of the speed

limit. Sometimes I feel like a turtle crawling through the canyon at a

feeble 45-50 mph. I politely use the turnouts to allow people to

resume their average speed of 60-70 mph. I have seen cars coming

at me in the wrong lane around blind turns more times than I can

count on my fingers and my toes. I have seen a woman in a Range

Rover with a child in a car seat cross the double yellow line heading

into the tunnel because she couldn’t tolerate me moving only 50

mph. I’ve seen teens in Mustangs, men in Mercedes on cell phones,

all screaming toward oncoming oblivion, just to shave a minute off

the canyon.

It is not legal to pass between Piuma and PCH on Malibu Canyon. The

heck with legal, it’s not SAFE. In fact, it’s insane.

I recently had a conversation with a CHP officer patrolling the

canyon. He is tired of cleaning fatalities off the road up here. I won’t

repeat the conversation at this time, but know this. . .

Crossing the double yellow line to pass on a curve or bridge with

oncoming traffic in sight will more than likely buy you a Reckless

Driving charge. A Reckless Driving conviction means JAIL time.

Happy motoring.

C. Kaller

P.S. I’m not the lady in the Crown Victoria. I’m the guy in the red

Porsche.

October 1, 1998

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GHAD faces dissolution, one more time

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With a new state law granting it the power, at long last, to dissolve the Las Tunas Geological Hazardous Abatement District (GHAD), the City Council Monday denied a request from the district to postpone the dissolution while the district works on a plan for preventing beach erosion.

The council’s action came despite a request for delaying the dissolution from Assembly Speaker Pro Tem Sheila Kuehl, who, acting on the city’s behalf, sponsored the legislation granting the city its new dissolution powers.

The city, in 1994, attempted to dissolve the district after it produced a plan for preventing erosion on Las Tunas Beach that the city deemed unacceptable. The district, challenging the city’s right to dissolve it, sued the city in 1994. The trial court ruled in the city’s favor, but a court of appeal said the state law on GHADs did not permit the city to undertake the dissolution.

With its hands tied, the city turned to the legislature to grant it the dissolution power. Kuehl, working at the city’s request, successfully sponsored the bill amending the law on GHADs. The bill, which will take effect in January, was signed by Gov. Pete Wilson last week.

At Monday’s meeting, the district requested that the council postpone a dissolution proceeding until March. By that time, the district had hoped to have a plan for controlling erosion on Las Tunas Beach to submit for the city’s review. Kuehl sent a representative from her office and a letter encouraging the council to grant the district additional time. In her letter, Kuehl said she supported GHADs as a tool for focusing on

special environmental problems. But most council members were so exasperated by the past behavior of the district, they were in no mood to extend its life.

“The GHAD has opposed us every step of the way, and now they’re asking us for favors,” said Councilman Walt Keller.

Council members Carolyn Van Horn and Tom Hasse said they would entertain an extension if, before the end of January, the district had made progress on its plan for controlling sand erosion.

“I think this is an organization that needs a carrot-and-stick approach,” said Hasse.

Councilman Harry Barovsky and Mayor Joan House expressed concern that the city was ignoring Kuehl’s request to grant the extension.

“This bill would not have happened without her assistance,” said Barovsky. “For us not to honor her request would be foolhardy at best.”

But the other council members said they would rather wait to see if an extension was merited, based on any work the district does before the end of January.

The council voted 4-1 to deny the request for the delay. Councilwoman Joan House opposed the motion.

If the district is dissolved, the legislation provides that the district’s remaining funds shall be distributed on a pro rata basis to the property owners in the district.

Volunteers unable to save injured deer

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For animal lover Lisa Sprafka it was a heart-breaking end to a long night. For three hours she worked to comfort a young deer that had been hit by a car and left by the side of the road. For three hours, she tried to find an agency to help. For three hours, she waited for animal control. When the injured animal was put to sleep, she turned away in tears.

Getting someone to respond was frustrating from the start. When she went to the local fire station, they gave her a shrug. A sheriff’s deputy told her to suffocate the deer with a plastic bag or run it over with her car. He may have been kidding, but to Sprafka, it was far from funny. “He told me they’re not allowed to shoot them anymore, and he was serious,” Sprafka recalls.

There, at Avenida de Encinal, she comforted the doe while neighbors tried to get an animal control agency to respond. A call was placed to California Wildlife Center, a 24-hour emergency response agency in Malibu Canyon. While wildlife emergencies vary, this particular case would ordinarily have fallen under the jurisdiction of California Fish and Game, but after reviewing the circumstances by telephone, the agency turned the case over to animal control. An officer from the Agoura Animal Shelter responded and decided the deer was beyond saving.

While killing the doe seemed to be a drastic and unnecessary measure, as far as Sprafka was concerned, it was probably the most humane one. “There are not always happy endings,” said Wildlife Center Executive Director Aaron Frank. “Sometimes euthanizing is better than having the animal suffer.” The center’s president, Rebecca Dmytryk, adds that broken legs are a lot more serious for animals than they are for people, especially wild animals. “If it can’t walk and it can’t run, it can’t survive on its own.”

The wildlife center is still renovating its new facility in Malibu Canyon to rehabilitate injured animals, but not all can be saved. As Dmytryk points out, “We want people to remember that wild animals are wild.”

Another thing the group wants people to remember is that deer are migrating at this time of year. That means they will be crossing the paths of both people and cars, and drivers are advised to be careful and alert. A little extra caution last week might have spared the life of one little deer traveling on Avenida de Encinal and spared Sprafka a few tears.

The California Wildlife Center responds to sick, injured or ophaned wildlife 24 hours a day. Call 457-WILD.