Malibu politicians are apprehensive of the local press. The same way bullfighting effects a savageness upon Mexico, local news headlines by your publication of council meetings, taxes, bureaucratic pork-belly, z-traffic, hidden Malibu city fees and obvious simple-mindedness weekly demoralizes the Malibu public. I usually have trouble finding my letters to the editor in The Malibu Times because of the curious headlines that your staff writers bestow upon these articles. As a youth I believed that headlines were created by corduroy pillows, now I know better. Your banner introducing “Deconstructing Tom,” (July 16, 1998) was clever, well though out and certainly drew my attention. While I have never taken Headlines 101 at a university of journalistic distinction, I note with merriment your resourceful headlines along with those of other local Southern California newspapers over the last 18 months or so. Dear Editor can you surmise which of the below headlines were created by the quick-witted Malibu Times staff?

Include Your Children When Baking Cookies

Something Went Wrong In Jet Crash, Expert Says

Lost Hills Sheriff’s Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers

Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted

Drunk Gets Nine Months In Freezer Case

China Head Seeks Arms

Prostitutes Appeal To Pope

Panda Mating Fails; Local Veterinarian Takes Over

Eye Drops Off Shelf

Ban On Soliciting Dead In Los Angeles

Teacher Strikes Idle Kids

Clinton Wins On Budget, But More Lies Ahead

Enraged Seal Injures Fisherman With Axe

City Maintenance Workers Refuse To Work After Death

Stolen Getty Painting Found By Tree

Killer Sentenced To Die For Second Time In 10 Years

War Dims Hope For Peace

If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last A While

Heat Wave Linked To Temperatures

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges

Man Struck By Lightning Faces Charge

Astronaut Takes Blame For Gas In Spacecraft

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

Local Malibu High School Dropouts Cut In Half

Tom Fakehany

Editors’ note: None.

Apparently City Attorney Christi Hogin’s unshakable decision to proceed with her campaign irregularities investigation is more contemptible to councilmembers Keller and Van Horn and their supporters, than the fact that laws might have been broken.

Hogin has to sit there and listen to two of Malibu’s elected representatives cross-examine the examiner who is merely trying to do her job, according to the law, despite their vigorous effort to thwart it. She’s repeatedly subjected to ridicule and scorn, rather than encouragement to do her duty. Then, two closed session subjects were discussed in open session for the obvious intent to intimidate and embarrass Ms. Hogin. She was told to cancel her vacation in order to complete the investigation, and she was asked about her contract, which, she said, is month to month. This is Theater of the Absurd in its most preposterous form.

No one is above the law, which includes the individuals who initiate the law; nor should the law be selective when personal advantage is desired. Don’t forget that the next campaign is less than one and one-half years away.

Marlene Matlow

In his letter [“The abridged version,” Aug. 6] Mr. Wood cites a Federal Court ruling that “The City Council cannot pass rules of decorum.” If this is true, then we may need to change resolution 91-24, Sec B, Rule 5, which spells out rules of decorum for Malibu City Council meetings. This resolution was authored by then-Mayor Walter Keller and passed unanimously by that council on March 28, 1991, long before I was elected to office.

I can appreciate Mr. Wood’s concern that many in the military gave their lives to protect our First Amendment right to free speech. (Many years ago, as the widow of a marine, I became painfully aware of the sacrifices made in the name of freedom.) I can assure Mr. Wood that it was not my intention to inhibit his right to speak during “Community Comment” when I asked him to refrain from engaging in personal attacks. However, as a soldier, Mr. Wood should appreciate that when rules are established, they must be enforced equally and fairly, or abolished altogether.

If Mr. Wood feels that personal attacks are appropriate, relevant and necessary to Malibu’s public deliberations, then I suggest he petition the City Council to abolish the established rules governing public decorum.

Mayor Joan House

We, the owners of Monroe’s Restaurant, would like to say a special thank you for all the wonderful support that you have given over the last decade. We shall miss you all very dearly on the day-to-day basis that we have come to know so many of you by, but we shall look forward to seeing you in the community. Until then, ta ta for now. Meanwhile we are continuing as Monroe’s Catering.

Richard and Donna Chesterfield

Kudos to all our creative, talented, curious, darling, wonderful and clever scientists-to-be this year at the Malibu Jewish Center and Synagogue. We had a marvelous academic year and summer program learning about the world around us at our after-school science enrichment programs for preschoolers and kindergartners. From solar energy, kitchen chemistry, turtles, butterflies and marine life to dinosaurs, fossils, magnets, sound, bubbles and edible science, we explored nature with all our senses and creative juices.

Our Who’s Who of scientists-to-be this past year includes Lucas, Michael, Cody, Parker, Nicholas, Jordan, Will, Taylor, Chelsea, Taylor, Elijah, Charu, Coral, Julia, Kris, Danny, Sammy, Max, Rebecca, Alexandra, Jeremy, Alex, Allyson, Carmen, Carley, Harrison, Shannon, Jake and Casey.

Raise your test tubes and, here’s to our future generation of Einsteins! You are great scholars; and it was a joy and an honor indeed to be with you and share your moments of discovery and glee, as well as to hear your “Oohs!” and “Aahs!” as we experienced the wonders of science and nature. And, we can’t wait until September, when we begin anew and welcome you and your friends, along with new smiling and curious faces, for yet another fun-filled year of more ooey, gooey, fizzy and sparkly science!

P.S. Thanks, finally, to our wonderful local Malibu merchants and community service organizations for their continued support of my program, including Falcon Cable, Malibu Yogurt, Pet Headquarters, Malibu Lumber, Hughes Market, Sav-On, Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf, Jack-in-the-Box, Pizza Hut, Ben and Jerry’s, La Salsa, the Malibu Library, Artifac Tree, Dume Plaza Pharmacy, HRL Laboratories (thank you, of course, to my dear husband and scientist, Dr. David M. Pepper) and, above all, a big thank you and hugs galore to the MJC&S staff and our outstanding director, De De Solis.

Denise Danyelle Pepper

The Malibu Art Association, a group of local artists formed to promote art for its members and the community, wishes to thank the Malibu Chamber of Commerce, Mary Lou Blackwood, staff and committees for coordinating a professional special event — The Malibu Arts Festival.

Our members participating in the show enjoyed two days of fun together, displaying and selling their paintings and photography. It was a very successful show for artists. Members donated 15 percent of all sales to the scholarship and art enrichment program, for the Malibu schools, sponsored by the Malibu Art Association.

Marie Stapel

President, Malibu Art Association.

If what I suspect is true, Walt Keller and Caroline Van Horn, Malibu City Council members, have been diligently thumbing through their White House pamphlets #666, “How to sabotage any investigation,” and #667, “How to bury the opposition.”

The victim this time is Christi Hogin, our city attorney. The big bully tactics being used are beneath even those of Keller and Van Horn. Not to mention the little bully tactics being mouthed by some of the local citizens.

Christi is the underdog. Is this not harassment in the work place? I encourage her to stand her ground, be true to herself and her legal profession, keep her dignity and not cave in to this menace facing her. Christi, there are many of us in Malibu that empathize with you and wish you well.

Gerry Battey