I read with amusement the ahah! rhetoric regarding the ostensibly startling statistic that 60 percent of the speeders recently ticketed on Point Dume were Malibu residents, “most of whom live on Point Dume.” Duh!

Councilman Barovsky even wanted this newsflash to be deconstructed further to delineate which Point Dume streets harbor the various percentages of these violators. As if this kind of specificity would perhaps engender a shame solution, slow-down or face the finger wags of your Point Dume neighbors. Anything but that.

Of course the fault, dear Brutus, lies in our selves. (And yourselves too.) But is that a reason to denigrate the concern or imply hypocrisy on the part of those Point Dume residents who seek a practical and cost-effective solution to this persistent problem? Yes, I’m talking about humps, or as we say in polite Point Dume parlance: tables. If we cannot prevail upon our own neighbors, maybe even our own spouses, or, like Jimmy Carter admitting lust in his heart (let me take a deep cleansing breath), our very selves on rare occasions of absent-minded haste to slow down, with our homemade signs and constant attempts to create awareness of the problem, how can we hope to deter strangers, with much less of a vested interest, simply by stationing enhanced sheriff presence at “strategic” times and places?

It is the intransigency and cross-pollination of the problem that cries out for a solution that refuses reliance on the higher moral fiber and attentiveness of friend or foe. The so-called silent policemen. Defensive driving is not a sign of paranoia, and neither is a speed table a device of Orwellian dictatorship or the dreaded demise of rural Malibu. It’s simply the lowest cost, most practical measure to mellow the masses of Malibu mach-1s. Too bad that council members Hasse, House and Barovsky weren’t open-minded enough to at least attempt the proposed (temporary) fact finding experiment, to evaluate firsthand the potential of this approach, and instead chose to appease their perceived supporters who just don’t like humping, period.

Norma Levy

@Header:

“BE WARY OF OUT OF AREA COMPANIES. CHECK WITH THE LOCAL BETTER BUSINESS BUREAU BEFORE YOU SEND ANY MONEY FOR FEES FOR SERVICES. READ AND UNDERSTAND ANY CONTRACTS BEFORE YOU SIGN. SHOP AROUND FOR RATES.”

@Header:Animals Lost & Found

@normal:FOUND! Male pitbull puppy. Approx. 6 months old. Call with description. 457-0107

@normal:***REWARD*** Lost cockatoo in Ramirez Cyn. on Friday, Nov. 6. Answers to the name of “Baby.” Call 589-0069

@normal:***LOST CHOCOLATE LABRADOR*** Left home in Las Flores August 5th. Male 3 years old, neutered, gold eyes. I miss my baby so much. Call Alyson . 310-456-7151 or 310-456-7438.

@normal:FOUND DOG IN LAS FLORES CANYON. Reddish/brown Rhodesian Ridgeback/Pitbull mix, tall female with black face. Metal choke collar, no tags. Sweet disposition & VERY skinny. Call Alyson. 310-456-7438 or 310-456-7151.

@normal:LOST BLACK CAT. Neutered male. Extra claws in front. Lost in Las Flores area. We really, really miss him. 456-0400

@normal:LOST LARGE GRAY & WHITE DOMESTIC SHORT-HAIR CAT. Neutered. No front claws. Really fat. No collar. Please, please call 457-0617 or 457-6801 ext 248.

@Header:Animals

@Normal:AGOURA ANIMAL SHELTER needs towels and blankets. If you’ve lost a pet, please call the Shelter 818-991-0071.

@NORMAL:PLEASE SAVE LIVES and adopt. Many pure breed dogs and cats available to choose from as well as mixes. Pet Adoption Fund. 310-478-4455

@normal:**KING OF MALIBU DOG WALKER** Your dog will love it and will tell you all about it when you get home. 310-455-2311

@normal:AUSTRALIAN SHEPHERD PUPS. Double registered, AKC, ASCA. Males/females. All 4 colors, some blue eyes. BEAUTY & BRAINS. Family raised, parents on premises. Family oriented dogs, very good w/children. Very flashy. $350-$450. 805-944-5570

@normal:TWO FREE MALE & FEMALE, SOUTH DOWN SHEEP & their best buddy, a pygmy goat. To a good home only. Call 818-222-7027.

@normal:FREE TO GOOD HOME ONLY. **World-class 1-year old male German Shepherd w/paper. ALSO **9 year old female black lab. Both great family dog. References a must. 714-505-0906

@normal:FREE TO GOOD HOME. Handsome cat. Siamese/Tabby. 1-1/2 years. Medium coat. Neutered, had all shots. Good companion & loves outdoors. Pictures by email. For adoption call 310-751-3873 after 2pm.

@normal:SCHNAUZER PUPPIES MINIATURE. Outstanding Champion Lines! Show & pet qualities. AKC. Lovingly home raised. Parents on premises. Rare black & silvers and salt & peppers. $600-$700. Call 805-588-7742.

@normal:MOVING – MUST GIVE AWAY TO GOOD HOME. 2 year old Wolf Hybrid, 85% wolf plus shepherd. Must go to loving home w/lot space. Gorgeous looks, excellent personality, house trained. 818-346-4534

@normal:**POSITIVE CANINE OBEDIENCE TRAINING** Private Lessons w/experienced handler. Specialize in Work Breeds. Serving Malibu & Westside. Weekend & evening appointments. Vet recommended. Affordable Rates. 310-457-0635

@Header:Announcements

@normal:**THE ARTIFAC TREE THRIFT SHOP**AT 3728-1/2 CROSS CREEK ROAD accepts donation of clothing, furniture, pictures, frames, jewelry, kitchen supplies, shoes, books, toys, linens, lamps, radios & TVs, gift items. DONATIONS TAX DEDUCTIBLE, PROCEEDS BENEFIT COMMUNITY. Call 456-1068 – Hours Monday-Friday – 10am-4pm.

@Header:Antiques

@normal:FOR SALE. *Antique armoire, early 1900s, oak w/3 panels, oval mirror, 2 drawers. $1600. *Solid oak dining set, 42″ round w/18″ leaf, 4 arm chairs. $600. In Malibu evenings 310-589-0282

@Header:Architects

@normal:ARCHITECTS BUILDERS. Planning, design, permits, new construction & remodels, all phases. Residential, commercial. 310-753-6248. We will beat any legitimate bid. JBAIA @prodigy.net *BMX

@Header:Attorneys

@normal:CRIMINAL ATTORNEY. DUI/failure to appear, domestic violence, white-collar crime, free consultation. SEAN ERENSTOFT. 310-820-0200 *BMX

@normal:ATTORNEY. Criminal defense. DUI/DMV hearings, misdemeanor/felonies, family law, divorces, child/spousal support, custody/visitation, post divorce modifications. Theodore A. Clapp 310-827-8477 *BMX

@Header:Autos

@normal:CARS: $100-$500. Police impounds. Honda, Chevy, Jeeps & Sport Utility. Must sell!!! 1-800-772-7470 Ext. 7108 Cal*Scan

@Header:Autos Wanted

@normal:MALIBU BASED NON-PROFIT WILDERNESS COMPANY working w/abused & at-risk youths needs donation of running van or truck. Guaranteed highest possible tax deduction. CALL 888-801-WOLF

@Header:Autos American

@normal:’92 MUSTANG 5.0, 5-speed hatchback, air, deluxe stereo, Lo-Jack. 68,500 pampered miles. $8,800 obo. Vicky, 310-208-6343

@normal:’91 FORD EXPLORER. White w/tan interior. 2WD. Excellent running condition. Original owner. 5-speed manual, V-6 engine, AM/FM cassette, A/C . Have all service records. $7,450. 310-457-1409

@Header:Autos Classics

@normal:1955 FORD PICK-UP CLASSIC. Fully restored, new engine, interior. All new glass, chrome, rubber. New tires, tow package, CD player, straight, beautiful, run great. Over $15,000 invested. Selling, $7,900 obo. 818-591-8777

@Header:Autos German

@normal:’87 MERCEDES 560SEC. 2 door coupe. Charcoal w/light grey interior. Detailed. 4 new tires, sunroof. AM/FM cassette. Carphone. All service records. Pampered. Always garaged. Very pretty car. 105,000 miles. Fun Car! $13,750. 310-456-9676

@Header:Books

@normal:SPIRITUAL GIFTS & BOOKS ***SERRA RETREAT BOOK SHOPPE*** Open Monday through Saturday, 9:00 am-4:00 pm; Sunday, 9:00 am to 2:00 pm. Call 456-6631. 3401 Serra Road.

@normal:PLEASE HELP TO PUBLISH & PROMOTE, loan or grant, two spiritual books directed by God to write. One about communicating with God & the second one, communicating with our loved ones in Heaven. Most of the proceeds of these books will be given to feed starving little children. 310-712-2608.

@Header:Building Supplies

@normal:MALIBU MASONRY SUPPLY 3730 Cross Creek Road. 456-9444.

@normal:MALIBU LUMBER & HARDWARE Lumber, Garden, Housewares 23419 PCH 456-9031

@Header:Business Opportunities

@normal:ADVERTISE STATEWIDE! for $400. Place a 25-word classified ad in 200 California newspapers, combined circulation over 3.3 million. For information call The Malibu Times at 310-456-5507 and ask for Rae.

@normal:TOPANGA CANYON COFFEEHOUSE. Investor and/or buyer needed for nearly completed Topanga cafe. Great location, indoor/outdoor. Call Roy Buckman at 323-463-4877

@normal:WE’LL SHOW YOU the money! (Just call our clients!) 3-5 hrs./wk. Prepaid phone card machines. $10,800 req’d. Free info 1-800-876-326 CardMart of America, Inc. Cal*Scan

@normal:LOCAL CANDY ROUTE. 30 vending machines. Earn approximately $800/day. All for $9,995. Call 1-800-998-VEND Cal*Scan

@normal:AREA PAYPHONE RTE. 45 established. PAC BELL locations. Earn $165k/year. Min invest. $12,500. Call 1-800-519-3201 Cal*Scan

@normal:OWN YOUR OWN apparel, shoe, lingerie, bridal, gift or $1.00 store. Includes inventory, fixtures, buying trip, training. minimum investment $18,900. Call Liberty Opportunities. 1-501-327-8031 Cal*Scan

@normal:AMBITIOUS WOMAN SEEKING friendly, health conscious people to join my team. I earn more than $2,500/mo. working part-time from home. Call toll free 1-888-819-6020 Cal*Scan

@normal:EARN CASH NOW!! Are you earning what you are worth/ If not call 1-800-600-0343 ext. 1277. 24 hours. Cal*Scan

@normal:AT&T-MCI PAYPHONE ROUTS. Prime sites $150K year potential. Lowest. 800-800-3470. Cal*Scan

@normal:AUTOBODY SHOP: Own a home & 3 bay body shop fronting US36. Lakeside community of Atwood, KS. $85,000 includes land & 3 buildings. 901-683-5695 or LeeSchiss@aol.com Cal*Scan

@normal:ARE YOU EARNING $20,000 per month? Overwhelmed with leads. Not MLM. In your area. 1-800-322-6169 Ext. 0878 Cal*Scan

@Header:Cabinetry

@normal:FINE CUSTOM CABINETRY and FURNITURE. Design, Fabrication, Installation. Home Theater Specialist. Providing special woodwork since 1978. Lic: #471584. **CASEY DESIGN** 818-706-3147.

@Header:Chef/Cook

@normal:CUSTOM CUISINE LOWFAT gourmet meals delivered to your home – Weekly Meal Plans. Healthy, delicious menus averaging only 5 fat grams per entree. Delivered in convenient, portable microwave containers. Local references. 310-915-5342

@Header:Child Care

@normal:MALIBU MAMAS Nannies, housekeepers, couples etc. Serving Malibu since 1988. 10% discount to Guild Members. Owned by a WGA Member. 456-8113.

@normal:L.A. NANNIES & DOMESTICS. Nannies, Housekeepers, Chefs, Baby Nurses & Personal Assistants, etc. Malibu owned and operated. 21355 PCH #202. 317-8555.

@normal:THE STORK STOPS HERE a postpartum care service, Baby Nurses, Postpartum Doulas, Mommies, Personal shoppers and Gourmet cooking service. Early scheduling is encouraged to ensure availability. 310-226-2845.

@Header:Computer Services

@Normal:COMPUTER SERVICES. Learn to be proficient in Windows. *Word processing – MS Word & WordPerfect *Accounting – Quicken & QuickBooks *Spreadsheets – Excel & Lotus *Internet – Netscape & E-Mail. Expert, Friendly Instruction at Reasonable Rates. Individual lessons with your computer or ours. 310-456-9706 or 818-991-2871

@Header:Construction Services

@normal:HMH CONSTRUCTION Remodels and Custom Painting. Quality work. 310-589-5711

@normal:D. P. FRAMING & CONCRETE. Bobcat, dumptruck service, dirt, concrete, demo, manure moved, exported. Oxnard, CA Lic#527834 (805) 985-5165

@Header:Domestic Help

@normal:PILES INTO FILES. Have you been meaning to organize your home office, kitchen or other rooms in your house. I help people get organized. Please call Julie, pager/voice mail. 310-286-8739

@Header:Educational

@normal:COLLEGE IS ONLY MONTHS AWAY! Malibu-based Prospectives, your partner in the process, will help your student get into the best colleges. From college applications to admission. Discounts available 310-317-2024

@normal:EARN ACCREDITED COLLEGE degree quickly! Bachelors, masters, doctorate by correspondence based upon life experiences, knowledge already attained, prior education & short study course. For FREE information catalog, phone Cambridge State University 800-964-8316. Cal*Scan

@Header:Electrician

@normal:O’NEILL ELECTRIC. Specializing in new construction, panel upgrades, remodel additions. All aspects of residential, commercial, electrical work. Free estimates. License #628772. 818-735-4986 *BMX

@Header:Employment Wanted

@normal:ARE LOOKING FOR AN EXPERIENCED EXECUTIVE PERSONAL ASSISTANT? Intelligent, Mature, Responsible, Organized & Dependable. Worked for prominent Hollywood couples in their Beverly Hills, Santa Monica homes. Extensive administrative duties included scheduling appointments, making travel arrangements, handling press requests, running errands. Frequent interaction w/accountants, lawyers, agents, people from all levels of restaurant, television, film & music industry. Coordinated household maintenance, including pet care, children’s activity, w/staff of nanny, housekeeper, gardener. Computer literate. Seasoned traveler. Excellent references. Please call 310-937-4775.

@normal:FULL CHARGE BOOKKEEPER. Local licensed professional with over 15 years experience in general ledger. Financial statements, bank recs, payroll review, audit, organization & administrative skills. Can work onsite or home. 310-829-1925. References on request. *BMX

@normal:**ALL AROUND ASSISTANT** Reliable, dependable w/all your office & home needs. Excellent w/house & pet care. Malibu resident w/Malibu experience. 310-456-7870

@Header:Employment Services

@normal:ASSEMBLE ARTS, CRAFTS, TOYS, jewelry, wood items, typing, sewing, computer work from home in your spare time. Great pay. Free details call 1-800-632-8007, 24 hrs. Cal*Scan

@normal:EARN $1000 WEEKLY stuffing envelopes at home. Start now. No experience. Free supplies, information! No obligation. Send SASE: ACE, #503, Box 5137, Diamond Bar, CA 91765 Cal*Scan

@normal:GET PAID $15 – $30 per hour processing insurance claims for local doctor’s office. Complete training provided. Computer & modem required. Call 800-942-8141 ext. 6. Cal*Scan

@Header:Financing Needed

@normal:FINANCIAL BACKING NEEDED, loan or grant, to publish & promote two spiritual, educational, nonprofit books, directed by God to write. One about communicating with God & the second one, communicating with our loved ones in Heaven. 310-712-2608

@Header:Finances

@normal:AVOID BANKRUPTCY. Debt Consolidation. Stop collection calls. Cut monthly payments to 50%. Eliminate finance charges. Fast approval! 1-800-270-9894. Cal*Scan

@normal:“CASH.” Immediate $$ for structured settlements and deferred insurance claims & lotteries. J.G. Wentworth: toll free 1-888-231-5375. Cal*Scan

@normal:ARE YOU DROWNING in debt? Debt relief-free, immediate, confidential. Consolidate payments, lower interest. Call toll free 1-888-BILL-FREE or (888)245-5373. American Credit Counselors, nonprofit. Cal*Scan

@normal:GET OUT OF debt free!! Credit Counseling Centers of America (member NFFCC). Free debt consolidation, lower payments, interest. Stop collector calls. Non-profit 1-877-936-2222. Toll Free Cal*Scan

@normal:A DEBT-FREE LIFE! Confidential help. Cut monthly payments. Reduce interest. Stop collection calls. Avoid bankruptcy. Nation’s largest nonprofit: Genus Credit Management. 800-892-2953 (24 hours) Cal*Scan

@normal:$$$ OVERDUE BILLS? Credit problems? Try debt consolidation! Combine all bills into one low payment. No application fees!! (800)863-9006 ext.103. Cal*Scan

@normal:AVOID BANKRUPTCY. Free debt consolidation. Application w/service. Cut payments to 65%. 24 hr. approval. Good/Bad/No credit OK. 1-800-873-8207. Cal*Scan

@normal:$CASH FOR MORTGAGES$ If you are receiving payments on a mortgage, we can convert them to immediate cash. Twenty years experience. Highest prices. 800-676-3500. Cal*Scan

@normal:OVER YOUR HEAD IN DEBT! Credit cards/bills? Cut payments up to $60%!! *Maintain good credit. 8 free consultation 800-556-1548. www.anewhorizon.cor Member BBB, non-profit National Co. Cal*Scan

@Header:Firewood

@normal:**FIREWOOD** Eucalyptus, avocado or sycamore. Well-aged & cut/split in convenient sizes. $95 per cord. $55 per half cord. We will help you load it into your vehicle. 310-456-3230

@normal:FIREWOOD — $180 per cord, delivered. Mixed wood, all seasoned VISA & MasterCard accepted. no delivery charge for Malibu. 310-456-5969.

@normal:FREE CUT FIREWOOD!!. You pick up. Dry seasoned. 457-7279

@Header:Flea Market

@normal:HAVE YOU ADVERTISED IN OUR “FLEA MARKET” YET?? IF NOT, JUST GIVE US A CALL & WE WILL BE GLAD TO RUN YOUR AD; OR WE WILL RENEW IT. 456-5507 Ext. 108 or Fax 456-8986

@normal:CHILD’S DESK. Scandinavian, blue & red. Four drawers. $50. 456-5060

@normal:MANTLE, antique mahogany hand-carved. 4’Hx5’W. Beautiful AS-NEW. $99. 457-4822

REFRIGERATOR. Sears, large size freezer on top. Beige. $150. 457-3249

@normal:DORY OARS. 2 wooden, with locks. $40. 457-3249

@normal:SURFING, windsurfing equipment. First $100 takes all. 457-1171

@normal:SOFA, rattan, 7′. Green & tan fabric $80. 456-4443 or 457-4132

@normal:TABLE, glass top coffee table, rattan base. $40. 456-4443 or 457-4132

@normal:ELECTRIC Mini Magic Muffin Maker. Betty Crocker. $7. 829-1568

@normal:JACKET, New designer wool/leather jacket. Black. Size 40. (Orig. $275) $65. 456-2200

@normal:MASSAGER for back w/heat & adjustments. Pollenex. $25. 838-4192

@normal:LIGHT FIXTURE COVERS, 6 assorted glass globes. $11. 829-1568

@normal:VAPORIZER, “Devilbiss” works fine. $5. 829-1568

@normal:CRUTCHES, aluminum. Adjustable. $10. 829-1568

@normal:FIREWOOD EUCALYPTUS, AVOCADO. $95 CORD. $55 HALF CORD. YOU PICK UP. 310-456-3230

@normal:CHRISTMAS ITEMS. Centerpiece, tins, miscellaneous stuff. All for $15. 829-1568.

@normal:WEDDING DRESS. New, never worn, size 8, beautiful. $400 obo. 310-455-3234

@normal:COLLECTABLES Old Rock & Roll Posters, Framed $75.00 310-456-2200

@normal:COMPUTER, Pentium w/CDRom, speakers, color monitor, fax modem. $250. 589-2823

@normal:PIANO. Schaeffer, 1950s. Needs work. $25. 456-6138

@normal:SKIS, Powder skis, “Rossignol” 185 w/bindings. Brand new. $400. 457-1537

@Header:Flooring

@normal:CARPETS, HARDWOOD new/refinish. Free Estimates. Call Carl Leon, Paseo Flooring. 310-416-9947.

@normal:VIKING FLOORS Specializing in Installation & Finishing of all types of flooring. 457-7823.

@Header:Flower Services

@normal:WE SELL FRESH FLOWERS direct from the flower market! Every Monday 9am-12pm. 1911 Newell Rd., Malibu 317-0378. Holiday wreaths will be available, too!

@Header:For Sale

@normal:FOR SALE!. Magnificent free-form redwood pedestal table, 52″x82″. Comparable $4,000. Selling for $1,200 obo. Turn-of-century partners’ desk, 48″x72″, very unique. $1,500. 486 PC + monitor, $600. Call Chris @ 456-6181

@normal:MAPLE PLANK FLOORING. 8900 sq. ft. 90 years old. Never sanded. Tongue & groove. Beautiful patina. 1 inch thick by 3-1/4 inch wide. $2.45 sq. ft. 310-457-1469 *BMX

@normal:***”MACA MIRACLE “**. 100% natural! New ONE-STEP nutriceutical diet. Lose weight & discover good health! MACA herb reduces stress. No harmful stimulants. Easy to carry packets. Samples available. 310-589-5800

@normal:FOR SALE living room & dining room sets. Sofa, loveseat, 2 armchairs. Dining table, chairs, china. Perfect condition. 310-589-0665

@normal:FOR SALE. *Antique armoire, early 1900s, oak w/3 panels, oval mirror, 2 drawers. $1600. *Solid oak dining set, 42″ round w/18″ leaf, 4 arm chairs. $600. In Malibu evenings 310-589-0282

@NORMAL:WOLFF TANNING BEDS. TAN AT HOME Buy direct and SAVE. Commercial/Home units from $199.00. Low monthly payments. Free color catalog. Call today. 1-800-842-1310 Cal*Scan

@normal:STEEL BUILDINGS ARCH, straightwall, single slope. Factory direct! 1-800-973-3366. Cal*Scan

@normal:BEANIE HOUSES: Stores & Displays over 100 Beanies! Two styles, The Club House & Farm House. $39.95 & S/H. Great gift idea! Call 1-800-764-8688. www.beaniehouse.com Cal*Scan

@Header:Garage Sales

@normal:WHEN YOU ADVERTISE WITH THE MALIBU TIMES you will receive FREE Garage Sale signs & arrows. Call us at 456-5507 Ext.108 to place your Garage Sale Classified Ad.

5 FAMILY MEGA GARAGE SALE. Starts at 8:00am Saturday, Nov. 14th. Furniture, designer clothes, records, CDs, household goods & more! 21361 PACIFIC COAST HIGHWAY

@Header:Glass

@normal:MALIBU GLASS & Mirror & Screens 3547 Winter Canyon Road. 456-1844.

@Header:Handmade Crafts

@normal:PERSONALIZE YOUR CHILD’S OR BABY’S living space with unique handmade dolls, quilts, curtains, hooked rugs, chair covers, mobiles, diaper stackers, etc. Available with family pictures and/or child’s name. 818-832-9634

@Header:Handyman

@normal:NEATNIK CONSTRUCTION. Meticulous carpentry, tilework, painting & remodeling. Long-term Malibu resident. Responsible & dependable. Reasonable rates. Excellent Malibu references. Kent, 457-5214

@NORMAL:A to Z HOME IMPROVEMENTS. No job too large or too small. Carpentry, painting, tile, retaining walls, decks, masonry, dog houses, and more. Honest, reasonable, reliable. Local references. Bill 317-2221

@Header:Health & Fitness

@normal:***”MACA MIRACLE “**. 100% natural! New ONE-STEP nutriceutical diet. Lose weight & discover good health! MACA herb reduces stress. No harmful stimulants. Easy to carry packets. Samples available. 310-589-5800

@normal:**LADIES EXERCISE IN PRIVATE SETTING** with experienced trainer. Location in West Malibu. Specializing in women’s needs. Call Carol at 310-457-1681

@normal:LOSE UP TO 10 POUNDS NEXT WEEKEND AND GET PAID. Jump start your diet or finally break that plateau. Looking for men & women to participate in a 2-day diet program. No pills. Safe and effective. Nothing to buy, in fact we pay you to lose! Call 310-587-8892 *BMX

@normal:“NOW ISN’T A good time to stop smoking.” But it is a good time to start feeling better. Get help at www.stopsmoking.com Serious treatment for nicotine addition worldwide. Cal*Scan

@Header:Help Wanted

@normal:SECRETARY, RECEPTIONIST for music & video company. Clerical, good computer skills, honest, punctual, reliable, neat, cheerful & bright required. Male/female OK. Good pay, benefits. Fax resume & references to 310-457-5382.

@normal:PART-TIME ELEMENTARY SCHOOL GENERAL MUSIC EDUCATION/VOCAL TEACHER wanted for grades K-5. Twelve half-hour classes per week. Call 310-457-1516

@normal:RESEARCH/CURATOR. THE PETERSEN AUTOMOTIVE MUSEUM has an IMMEDIATE temporary, part-time opportunity available for a trained fieldworker or curator to assist with development of an exhibition on historic wood-bodied autos popular with the So Cal beach communities, called Woodies, scheduled to open in June ’99. Candidate will conduct research & interviews. Requires a Master degree &/or specialized work in folklore, cultural anthropology, popular culture or related field. Available to work now through June ’99. Will be paid project fee based on qualification. Call or send/fax resume to: Nancy Fister, Petersen Automotive Museum (PAM), 6060 Wilshire Blvd., L.A. CA 90036; FAX 323-930-6642; Phone 323-964-6339 EDE.

@normal:PAIR WANTED. Full-time, live-in in Malibu. English speaking, legal residents. Separate living quarters & fair compensation. Domestic services include: housecleaning, laundry, cooking, pets & garden. Handyman required for grounds, maintenance & total care of 6-horse stable & ring facility. Previous experience & references required. Please call Mike at 310-440-9246

@normal:EXPERIENCED INTERIOR PLANT TECHNICIAN. Must have valid CA driver’s license & insurance. Must speak fluent English. 457-1625

@normal:EXPERIENCED EXTERIOR LANDSCAPE SUPERVISOR. Must have good references, truck, insurance, valid California driver’s license and speak fluent English. 457-1625 x4.

@normal:LOCAL ANIMAL HOSPITAL needs animal caretaker. 8:00am to 3:00pm. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday & Saturday. Will train, negotiable. 457-6453.

@normal:HIGHEST PAID FOR QUALITY DRIVER/MOVER. Class A/B with clean driving record only. Inventory & Van Line experience a must. References required. Contact Cindy at 310-450-5957

@normal:WORK FROM HOME. Need help immediately. 1K-5K per month. Part-time /full- time. We train. Free information booklet. 1-800-404-9143

@normal:***LINE COOKS NEEDED IMMEDIATELY*** at Malibu Country Inn, 6506 Westward beach. Great location & friendly atmosphere. Call 457-9622

@normal:UNIVERSAL GROUP Malibu, Santa Monica, San Diego districts are seeking DYNAMIC individuals with a potential for growth in the revenue collection systems. All candidates must have basic computer knowledge. Please forward resume by mail to District Supervisor, 191-23852 Pacific Coast Highway, Malibu, CA 90265 by fax 310-457-6334.

@normal:**MEDICAL RECEPTIONIST** for Malibu family practice. Medical front office experience is required. Excellent salary & benefits. Fax resume to: 310-391-4654.

@normal:WORK FROM HOME – EARN EXTRA INCOME. $800-$3500 PT/FT. Call 1-800-714-5653 for free information or log on to http://www.hbn.com and please use the access code 5819 *BMX

@normal:SALES/INSIDE. Experienced phone salesperson needed to sell exclusive service to auto dealers nationally. $2000/month guaranteed. Commission average $4K-$6K/month. Great benefits, health insurance, parking 401K, high-energy atmosphere. Call Amer. 310-642-3785 *BMX

@normal:WHITEGOLD PRODUCTIONS is looking for strange, off-beat and out-of-the-ordinary fun people who can act for a feature length film. No experience necessary. Please send resume & photo to: Tom Skelfo, P. O. Box 32181, Long Beach, Ca 90830-2181 *BMX

@normal:HANDYMAN REQUIRED for residential estate. Must be skilled craftsman in carpentry, electrical, drywall, painting & plumbing. Guesthouse available in exchange for work. 310-276-5900

@normal:**THE MALIBU TIMES** is looking for a part-time Advertising Salesperson to sell special sections. Salary plus commission. Sales experience preferred. Call Rae at 310-456-5507, Ext 108 or fax your resume to 310-456-8986

@normal:FULL-CHARGE BOOKKEEPER. Hospitality industry experience preferred. Excellent salary & benefits. Malibu area. Send resume to: “BOOKKEEPER”, c/o The Malibu Times, P. O. Box 1127, Malibu, CA. 90265.

@normal:RESTAURANT LOOKING FOR BOOKKEEPER. Will train, flexible hours. Call 456-3132 or fax: 456-0492

@normal:THE MALIBU TIMES (www.malibutimes.com) is looking for an intern to work on our Web site & help develop our marketing program. We need a Web savvy techie, interested in journalism, marketing & promotion. Call the publisher Arnold G. York, 456-5507 Ext 101

@normal:ARE YOU A NEWS HOUND! The Malibu Times is looking for experienced reporters with an itch to cover government & fast-breaking stories. Call Arnold York, publisher at 456-5507 ext 101 or for immediate consideration fax clips to 456-8986

@normal:PART-TIME PERSONAL ASSISTANT. Organized, energetic, computer skills, light bookkeeping. Flexible day hours. Local references, experience needed. $8/hour. 10-20 hours per week. Call 818-878-9002, fax resume 818-878-9097

@normal:WILDLIFE JOBS TO $21.60/HOUR. Inc. benefits. Game wardens, security, maintenance, park rangers. No experience needed. For appointment & exam info, call 1-800-813-3585 ext 0703, 8am-7pm, 7 days fds inc *BMX

@normal:POSTAL JOBS TO $18.35/HOUR. Inc. benefits, no experience. For app. & exam info, call 1-800-813-3585, ext. 0702, 8am-7pm, 7 days fds,inc *BMX

@normal:AVON PRODUCTS – Start a home-based business. Work flexible hours. Enjoy unlimited earnings. Call toll free (888)942-4053. Cal*Scan

@normal:ACCOUNTING Ukiah Valley Medical Center has an immediate opening for a Senior Accountant. FT. BA in Accounting/Business. Min. 2 years exp., excellent computer skills. Hospital background a plus. Competitive benefits. Fax resume 907-462-7296 or call 707-463-7394 Cal*Scan

@normal:CO SPONSORED TRAINING & 1st year income $30K – Stevens Transport – OTR truck drivers wanted! Non-experienced or experienced – Toll free 800-333-8595 EOE Cal*Scan

@normal:DRIVER FLATBED START up to 34 cents/mile. Medical, dental & life. 401K. Consistent miles. Western states 3 years OTR + 1 year flatbed. Combined Transport. 1-800-637-4407 Cal*Scan

@normal:GOVERNMENT JOBS. Now hiring in your area. $16,000-$68,000. Call 1-800-883-0819 ext J-400 for current Federal County, City & State lists. Cal*Scan

@normal:HOME TYPIST/PC USERS. Steady work. Full-time/Part-time. $45,000 per year earnings potential. Call toll free 1-800-883-0819 ext. T-400 Cal*Scan

@normal:DRIVER COVENANT TRANSPORT $1,000 sign-on bonus for Exp. Company Drivers 1-800-441-4394. Owner Operators – Call toll free 1-888-667-3729. Bud Meyer Truck Lines Refrigerated Hauling call toll free 1-877-283-6393 Solo Drivers & Contractors. Cal*Scan

@Header:Holiday Gift Boutique

@normal:CHRISTMAS & HANNUKAH. Pinafores, aprons, bibs, boy’s vests & pants. Thanksgiving & New Year’s football patterns also. Custom homemade dolls, quilts, stuffed animals. Can be personalized with names & pictures. 818-832-9634

@Header:Home Care

@normal:CAREGIVER/CARETAKER. Gent will drive, cook, shop, garden & enable with dignity. Part or full time. Please call Joe at 317-2082

@Header:Instructional

@normal:TUTORING. Professional educational tutor. Emphasis on foundations of learning. 3Rs & phonics. Study & organizational skills, homework in a calm, patient atmosphere. 20 years experience. 457-3106.

@Header:Internet Service

@normal:AT LAST! INTERNET NOW WITHOUT A COMPUTER! Save over $1200 in expenses, a new, exciting, really cool way to have a blast with family & friends! FREE info. Ask for EZ Net 310-317-0887

@Header:Investors Wanted

@normal:SEEKING POSSIBLE INVESTORS in gold & silver production in Central America. Send $25 for more info to: Robert Sinclair, 9663 Santa Monica Blvd, #280, Beverly Hills, CA 90210 *BMX

@normal:TOPANGA CANYON COFFEEHOUSE. Investor and/or buyer needed for nearly completed Topanga cafe. Great location, indoor/outdoor. Call Roy Buckman at 323-463-4877

@normal:INVEST IN MY FUTURE! Please donate to a Pepperdine student who is working full-time to pay college tuition with no help. 310-721-8738

@Header:Landscaping

@Normal:MALIBU PLANTSCAPING. Interior & Exterior plant care design and maintenance. Call 310-457-1625.

@normal:Malibu Tropicals and Succulent Nursery specializing in succulents, bromeliads, epidendrum orchids, exotics for landscape use. 1 gal. to 24″ box specimens. Wholesale to the trade. 26799 P.C.H., Malibu. Hours 7:00-3:30 M-F. Call for appointment 310-457-7478.

@Header:Lost & Found

@normal:FREE LOST & FOUND ADS. Have you lost a pet or found an article? Please call our Classified Dept. at 456-5507 Ext 108 and we will be glad to take your classified ad at NO CHARGE.

@normal:FOUND SKATEBOARD on Monday, 11/9, in Cross Creek Shopping Center. Please call with description. 457-3478

@Header:Mobile Homes

@normal:2 MOBILE HOMES FOR SALE. 3 bedroom, 1 bath. 67’x13′ In good condition. $9,000. **2 bedroom, 1 bath. 42’x 12′. New concrete siding. New stove. $2,500. 310-457-3899

@Header:Musical Instruction

@normal:MUSIC – PIANO – VOICE – INSTRUCTION. Voice Production: Speech Coach, Diction, Projection, Speech & Language Pronunciation. Local professional Malibu instructor. Please call & indicate your interest. 310-280-3406

@Header:Office Space

@normal:PRIVATE OFFICE. First floor, private entry, bathrooms, kitchen & dining area. Glass Partitions, view, assigned parking. Zoned heating & air-conditioned. Contemporary glass office building. 29178 Heathercliff Rd. $2,500/month plus suite electrical meter. Call Ed Niles, 457-3602.

@normal:SMALL OFFICE SPACE AVAILABLE on PCH in heart of Malibu. 200 sq. ft. Parking. Call Agent, Elsie Muslin, 456-6431 ext 311.

@normal:MALIBU OFFICE SPACE for lease in prime location. Miramar building. Call manager 310-456-0063

@Header:Painting

@normal:MISTER ROBERTS PAINTING Serving Malibu Since 1965. Interior, exterior, licensed, bonded. Industrial products for rust Inhibitors. 310-456-0409. 1st place custom home painting award.

@normal:**THE FAUX ‘HO** Certified interior designer specializes in decorative paint finishes for every surface of your home or office. Standard painting services also available. Call Patricia at 323-874-0937 or 323-854-0848

@normal:QUALITY PAINTING. Exterior & interior. Residential & commercial. Complete preparation. Free estimates! Low prices! License #692903 Call Nesha 818-980-9573 *BMX

@Header:Party Services

@normal:

• ***BEAR TO BEAR BALLOONS***
• Balloons & Bouquets for all Occasions. Now carrying BEANIE BABIES 21217 Pacific Coast Highway & Rambla Pacifico. Malibu. Call 456-9746.

@Header:Personals

@normal:GREAT NEWS! DIABETICS Medicare pays for testing supplies. You’ve seen us on TV. Liberty Medical Supply. No up front costs. Satisfaction Guaranteed. Free Shipping. 1-800-876-6400 Cal*Scan

@Header:Picture Framing

@normal:MALIBU GALLERY Serving Malibu’s picture framing and art collector needs since 1981. Colony Plaza (near Ralph’s). 310-456-5393.

@Header:Plumbing

@normal:McDERMOTT PLUMBING & PUMPING Residential, commercial. Call on us to handle what ever comes up. 24-hour emergency service. Plumbing 456-2286, Pumping 456-1173

@Header:Private Investigator

@normal:PRIVATE EYE FOR HIRE! Discrete and confidential. Call Paris Stone P.I. Specializing in cheating and divorce. 818-340-ISPY (4779). 24 Hours. e-mail: coolspy@earthlink.net. Web: www.parisindustries.com/pi.html

@Header:Real Estate

@normal:EXCEPTIONAL FIND ON MALIBU ROAD! 3 bedroom, 2 bath completely remodeled top to bottom. Vaulted ceiling, skylights, all rooms w/sliding doors w/plantation shutters opening to deck w/ 180 ¡ spectacular ocean view. Marble fireplace, gourmet kitchen. Spacious & open floor plan. Seller relocating, must sell. STEAL AT $699,000.Adjacent lot also available. ***Regal Properties, Inc.****** Ask for Benik. 310-275-8888

@normal:MINUTES TO MALIBU! 4 bedrooms, 3 baths. Tennis court, pool, waterfall, horse facilities, nearly 3/4 acre. Two massive fireplaces, artist studio, paver tiles, high beam & vaulted ceilings. $599,950. Broker 818-731-0739.

@normal:OPEN HOUSES SUNDAY, NOV. 15, 1-4PM. *Crags Drive, 2+2 $425,000. Absolutely immaculate. 2 lots, mature landscaping. Fee simple. *South Lakeshore Drive. 3+2.5 plus extra large underneath bonus room, dark room, views of the Lake, massive fireplace. *Lakevista Drive. 3+2 plus downstairs family room & two shop areas. Screened in porch. Great dock. *Highpoint Drive 3+2. Impressive views of Lake, plus secure dock. Surrounding decks, bonus room with pool table. GAIL A. LOWE. 317-9339 or 818-222-5543 Coldwell Banker JD.

@normal:PACIFIC PALISADES CONDO. 2+1.75. Partial ocean views. Heated pool, gated, 2-car parking. Great location to shops. Bright & sunny. Hardwood floors plus new tile flooring. New refrigerator, mirrors. Avoid traffic on PCH. Front patio. $325,000. 310-454-2480. Agent

@normal:LOS CABOS BEACH FRONT VILLA. 3 suites plus detached Studio Villa, East Cape, Los Barriles, Mexico. Huge 1/2 acre landscaped estate. $798,000 turn key furnished, OWC. 805-594-1088, color brochure www.gocortez.com/villa.html Have friends & family? Make your own time share!!

@normal:ATTENTION INVESTORS!!! 13% plus. New condominiums near Disney World. Guaranteed Rental. Brokers welcome. 800-777-9838 Chase Mitchell Cal*Scan

@normal:GOVERNMENT FORECLOSED HOMES. Pennies on the $1. Repro’s, VA, HUD, Sheriff sales. No money down government loans available now. Local listings. Toll Free 1-800-669-2292 ext. H-4000. Cal*Scan

@normal:NO DOWNPAYMENT?? PROBLEM credit? Own the home you need now, without a big down payment. Complete financing is qualified. DeGeorge Home Alliance 1-800-343-2884. Cal*Scan

@normal:COLORADO LAND – FALL SALE! 10 acres w/waterlines & utilities. Was: $54,900. Now: $29,900. over 50 great new deals. Woodlands, mtn. views, streams, ponds & lg. acreage. Easy financing. No closing costs. Full guarantees. Call now. 1-970-882-7707 RSL Cal*Scan

@normal:40 ACRE RANCH-$27,900. Views of Grand Canyon & San Fran peaks. Perfect 4 seasons climate at 6, 100 ft. elev. Rolling land w/trees. Financing. AZLR toll free 1-877-244-8439. Cal*Scan

@normal:NORTHWEST ARIZONA two ranches 39 acres – $14,900 and 80 acres – $29,900 or both. Convenient to I-40. Good water area. Gorgeous views. Call AZLR 1-888-244-5263. Cal*Scan

@Header:Rentals

@normal:OLD & COMFORTABLE HOME. 3 bedroom, 2 bath. Large living room, earthstove, Canyon view. Secluded. 2 miles in Decker Canyon. Horses, cats OK. Available 11/15. $2,550. First/last. Deposit negotiable. 457-5333

@normal:PALISADES HOME FOR RENT. Ocean/canyon view on Bienveneda. 4 bedrooms, 3 baths, loft. Privacy, hot-tub, redwood deck on cul-de-sac. Walk to beach or village. $4,800/month. 457-0592

@normal:FOR RENT – SMALL STUDIO SPACE FOR PAINTER, POTTERY ARTIST, ETC. 457-7823

@normal:WOODLANDS HILL NEAR MULHOLLAND & TOPANGA. 5 bedroom, 4.5 bath, formal living room & dining room, family room, 2 fireplaces, skylights, gameroom w/pool table. Large private backyard w/pool. $3,700/month. 818-766-1338

@normal:BROAD BEACH ROAD. Modern 3 bedroom beach house. Furnished. Large great room w/bar. Large decks, private beach. By month or lease. $5,500/month. 805-646-6809

@normal:GUEST HOUSE. 2 bedroom,1 bath on gated property overlooking Zuma Beach. New carpeting, large master bedroom. 3 balconies. Washer/dryer. Garage space. $2,100/month utilities included. 457-6144

@normal:COUNTRY LIVING IN MALIBU. PCH & Decker. 2 bedroom, 1-3/4 bath. Old farm house on 2-1/4 private acres. Room for animals, ready to move in. $2,500/month. 457-3983

@normal:FURNISHED/UNFURNISHED STUDIO APARTMENT in upper Corral Cyn. Separate entrance, utilities, cable, laundry included. Freshly painted. Single only. No smoking, off street parking. $650/month. 456-8423

@normal:OWN BEDROOM, share bath in Point Dume house. Temporary situation for $500/month. Contact Mike. 818-776-0796

@normal: OCEAN VIEW, WOOD & GLASS APARTMENT, 2.5 bedrooms, 2 baths, Pt. Dume area. Large deck. garage. Washer/dryer. Under 1,800 sq. ft. $2,000/month. 457-3106

@normal:SMALL TRAILER IN RUSTIC, CHARMING CANYON SETTING on Encinal Canyon Rd. Secluded 7 acre property. 2 miles from ocean. $495/month 310-457-0877

@normal:DRY PRIVATE SANDY BEACH: Deluxe 2 bedrooms, 2 baths, office, fireplace, new appliances, cedar walls, Mexican paver floor tiles, 900 sq. ft. deck. Garage. Quiet/private. Close-in. $4,000/month. Long-term. Call 310-456-2348

@normal:HAWAII IN MALIBU, PANORAMIC OCEAN VIEW ESTATE, walk to beach. 3 gated acres w/full-time security, 4 bedroom, 3 baths, tennis court, pool. $5,996/month Cariker & Associates 310-457-5500. Broker Cooperation.

@normal:HOUSE FOR RENT IN MALIBU COVE COLONY. “Largest beach on the street.” 2 bedroom, 2 baths. New kitchen, Sauna. Gated 24 hours/day security guard. $5,500/month. 323-937-5121

@normal:CLOSE IN, SUNNY, NEW 2 BEDROOM, 2 BATH APARTMENT. Ocean & mountain views. Washer/dryer, microwave, dishwasher, refrigerator. Available 11/24/98. $1,700/month. 310-456-6311.

@normal:SPECTACULAR 3 BEDROOM, 2 BATH

TOWNHOUSE. 2-car garage w/extra parking. Upgraded flooring throughout. New kitchen w/new appliances. Washer/dryer, refrigerator. Pool/spa. Walk to beach. Patio w/Koi pond. No pets. Security system. Partially furnished. $3,200/month. Agent 310-454-2480

@normal:MAGNIFICENT ZUMA WHITEWATER VIEWS. Sophisticated Feng Shui 2BD/1.5 bath corner townhome. Private garden/spa, fireplace, hardwood floors, gourmet kitchen,washer/dryer. Dramatic architectural remodel. Beach club/tennis/pool! Year lease $2,900/month unfurnished. Short-term $3,900/month furnished. 310-457-0450

@normal:CHARMING 3 BEDROOM, 2 bath. Huge deck, ocean view. Fireplace. Completely remodeled, large kitchen, new baths, new paint/carpets. $3,000/month. 457-8182 or 457-6160.

@normal:HANDYMAN REQUIRED for residential estate. Must be skilled craftsman in carpentry, electrical, drywall, painting & plumbing. Guesthouse available in exchange for work. 310-276-5900

@normal:ON THE BEACH large open 1 bedroom, 1 bath apartment. Vaulted closet, walk-in closet, new carpet. Private entry, large balcony. Beach access. $2,000/month. 310-245-1231

@normal:4 BEDROOM ON THE BEACH. Gated, furnished, light & bright. Near county line. $2,950/month. 310-748-1432

@normal:OCEAN VIEWS. PCH address. 2000 sq. ft. 3 bedrooms, 2.5 baths. Vaulted ceilings, see-through fireplace, contemporary kitchen w/Subzero. Wrap-around deck. Hot tub. $2,900/month, utilities included. Pets ok. 457-9799

@Header:Rental Wanted

@normal:RENTAL WANTED FOR OUR WEDDING. One week rental of ocean front/view house w/patio or deck large enough for small family wedding. Projected dates 6/7/99-6/14/99. Contact Mike at 818-505-6885

@Header:Retail Space

@normal:MALIBU PACIFIC COAST HIGHWAY, 480-900 sq. ft. retail store with high visibility frontage. 310-456-7031 ext 175.

@Header:Services

@normal:LETTER PERFECT: Letters, Resumes, Scripts, Manuscripts, Legal, Word Processing, Fax services available. Also, Computer Lessons, Learn Windows 95, & E-mail. Contact Karen 310-456-8625.

@normal:TURN PILES INTO FILES. Have you been meaning to organize your home office, kitchen or other rooms in your house. I help people get organized. Please call Julie, pager/voice mail. 310-286-8739

@normal:**KING OF MALIBU DOG WALKER** Your dog will love it and will tell you all about it when you get home. 310-455-2311

@normal:INTERIOR PLANT CARE. Service with a personal touch. New plants & container gardens for your home & work-place! Free estimates & affordable prices! For your appointment call Carol “B”, Your Plant Lady 310-286-5689 *BMX

@normal:AT LAST! INTERNET NOW WITHOUT A COMPUTER! Save over $1200 in expenses, a new, exciting, really cool way to have a blast with family & friends! FREE info. Ask for EZ Net 310-317-0887

@normal:ARE LOOKING FOR AN EXPERIENCED EXECUTIVE PERSONAL ASSISTANT? Intelligent, Mature, Responsible, Organized & Dependable. Worked for prominent Hollywood couples in their Beverly Hills, Santa Monica homes. Extensive administrative duties included scheduling appointments, making travel arrangements, handling press requests, running errands. Frequent interaction w/accountants, lawyers, agents, people from all levels of restaurant, television, film & music industry. Coordinated household maintenance, including pet care, children’s activity, w/staff of nanny, housekeeper, gardener. Computer literate. Seasoned traveler. Excellent references. Please call 310-937-4775.

@normal:**POSITIVE CANINE OBEDIENCE TRAINING** Private Lessons w/experienced handler. Specialize in Work Breeds. Serving Malibu & Westside. Weekend & evening appointments. Vet recommended. Affordable Rates. 310-457-0635

@Header:Tile

@normal:TILE WORKS Ceramic, Pavers & Marble. 457-2031

@Header:Vehicle Wanted

@normal:MALIBU BASED NON-PROFIT WILDERNESS COMPANY working w/abused & at-risk youths needs donation of running van or truck. Guaranteed highest possible tax deduction. CALL 888-801-WOLF.

@Header:Water Wells

@normal:**HAD ENOUGH OF RUSTY DIRTY WELL WATER!!!** No chemicals, no ozones. Just natural filtered water. Call 310-457-0474

@normal:CLEAN UP YOUR WELL WATER. Remove Sulfer. No Chemicals. No Filters. $88. Malibu Water Resources. 310-317-1624. Fax 310-457-4298

I love doing a column just after an election because I can always write it with 20/20 hindsight. It’s amazing how much smarter we all are after the election is over. If I wrote this column two weeks ago, it would have been filled with hedging. But not now. Now it all seems amazingly clear and simple, and I can’t understand why so many politicians spent millions going in the wrong direction.

For example, just after the national vote came in, there they were, Newt & Co., spinning their story like mad, claiming victory. Was he right? I guess we can say, with a reasonable degree of certainty, he was wrong, because three days later he was gone. The Republican Party made its own very personal judgment, and it was harsh, but it was very clear, and it illuminated one of the laws of politics.

Law #1: You had better win, or keep your bags packed.

Which leads into the second basic law of politics.

Law #2 — The law of unintended consequences: No matter how smart you are and how careful you poll and focus group and plan, you simply can never be sure about what’s going to bite you in the backside. If you had told Newt the Monica strategy would end with him being pushed out of the speakership and Clinton still standing, I’m sure he would have laughed.

Which leads to Law #3.

Law # 3: Every successful election has within it the seeds of its own destruction next time. It’s one of those things that makes democracy interesting. For example, in 1994, the Christian Right was instrumental in the Republicans taking over the House. Then, they refused to broaden their base. After all, why should they? They won. They dug their heels in despite evidence that unless you keep the moderate Republicans in the tent and pick up the independent voters, you can’t win, particularly in swing states like California. In a state like California, that means “Choice” and “Pro Environment” and this year a strong emphasis on “Education.” They wouldn’t budge and lost ground this time.

But it certainly didn’t take them long to figure it out. I must admit I’m impressed by how quickly the Republicans have acted. Nationally, many of them love and respect Newt, but once they realized he was a liability, he was gone. In California, where they lost five assembly seats, the minority leader, Leonard, quit or was pushed, and they brought in not George Runner, a conservative Christian Coalition assemblyman, but opted instead for a pro-choice, Hispanic, ex-prosecutor, Rod Pacheco, which, in my opinion, was a very smart move. I must admit they have jettisoned excess baggage a lot faster then the Democrats ever did. We hung with McGovern and his progeny for years and got our brains beat out every time.

Law # 4: Americans in general are moderates, and Californians in particular tend to shy away from extremism of any stripe. We tend to vote for the moderate candidates or at least for the people who make the most convincing arguments that they are moderates. Sometimes the arguments are more moderate then the candidates, but that’s politics.

I’ll make some predictions. There is a knock-down fight coming for the soul of both parties because both are in transition. In the Republican Party, the traditional Republicans who believe in less government are going to clash mightily with the socially conservative Republicans who really believe in big government provided it follows their agenda.

The Democrats, on the other hand, swept in on their traditional block of labor, minorities, gender support and gays, plus candidates who were generally moderate enough to still attract the white middle class without scaring off their base. Strangely enough, I believe the entire Monica episode so polarized the Democratic voters that they stopped arguing with each other and actually worked together, which for Democrats is a minor miracle.

It remains to be seen which party is more flexible and gets to keep the middle for a while. The Democrats did it in the election, but the Republicans have responded very competitively, and now the ball is back in the Democratic court.

It will be interesting to watch.

Please correct the record with your readers. Malibu citizens may have been left with an incorrect impression of recent events surrounding the Civic Center open space and Egret Pond area, as a result of stories that ran in both local Malibu newspapers.

While Malibu Bay Co., developers of the proposed Civic Center construction project, and their supporters recently pulled out the stops in attempts to discredit and marginalize the efforts of Wetlands Action Network, we are nonetheless quite pleased with the ultimate decision by the Malibu City Council to hire Huffman & Associates to conduct a wetlands delineation. Dr. Terry Huffman’s nationally recognized credentials will serve the city well as he recommends determination for regulatory jurisdiction by the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers and the California Coastal Commission.

We, along, with Surfrider Foundation, had secured the services of Huffman & Associates only after repeated failed pleadings with the city in early ’98 that the city should conduct a delineation in order to comply with several state and federal laws. We’re happy to now let the city take the lead in this important process.

Yes, there were attempts to paint Wetlands Action Network as “controversial” by development supporters – including distribution of a 56-page “report” by Barbara Cameron that included mostly skewed information and one-sided news clippings supplied by developers at Playa Vista, where DreamWorks SKG has joined Wall Street heavies Morgan Stanley and Goldman Sachs in proposing to build the largest development in the history of Los Angeles in the remnant Ballona floodplain. Wetlands Action Network supports a scientifically-sound wetlands restoration at Ballona, not one driven by the ill-conceived Playa Vista development.

Incorrect charges leveled by Malibu Bay Co. supporters against Wetlands Action Network at council hearings also appeared to come straight from the Playa Vista developers. So, why are Playa Vista developers seemingly eager to support efforts to construct what could be the largest development in the history of Malibu — also in a wetlands floodplain?

Perhaps there is a public relations plan to make the Malibu Civic Center Development and Playa Vista “sister projects.” Perhaps the residences of S K & G in Malibu is a factor, and Wall Street moguls are trying to make certain their new DreamWorks partners know they are doing all they can to quash the efforts of Wetlands Action Network, whose lawsuits have been successful at stalling construction at the site for nearly three years since DreamWorks first announced their intention to build at Ballona Wetlands.

Imagine our surprise when, on the day of the council decision to hire Dr. Huffman, we learned that Malibu City Councilman Harry Barovsky is a senior vice-president for Morgan Stanley — one of the Playa Vista development parnters. Could this coincidence also be a factor in efforts to discredit Wetlands Action Network? I hope not. However, one important thing I have learned, when attempting to insure equity on behalf of the public when taking on the behemoths of influence and power, it never hurts to shine a little light on the subject matter.

Marcia Hanscom

executive director, Wetlands Action Network

(310) 457-0300

It would be nice if my neighbors would credit fellow citizens with having minimal intelligence and refrain from making statements such as the comment made last week that anti-speed hump people “don’t like humping, period.” As a matter of fact, I rather enjoy humping, but I am one of those who don’t want speed humps, even the elongated variety referred to as “speed tables,” installed on the two main thoroughfares of Point Dume. I submit that there are valid reasons for not installing them, to wit:

(1) There may not even be a need for any passive speed control devices — both speed surveys run (and paid for) recently by the city have produced no evidence either of excessive speeds or that very many cars are speeding.

(2) There are alternatives for passive speed control. The one I think should be looked at seriously, as an alternative to ugly humps painted with reflective stripes and warning signs, are small center islands at intersections. These can be made attractive with landscaping and are proven “traffic calming” devices.

(3) Other communities have found that humps and tables don’t work and are removing them (L.A. Times, 10/8/98). Problems include longer emergency response times and structural damage to fire trucks, lawsuits from property owners who object to the noise of motorists honking in anger and accelerating off the “humps,” and the fact that certain people don’t slow down in spite of the humps.

(4) I think that, in this community, on these roads, the devices will constitute an attractive nuisance. The few idiots among us will see how fast they can go over the things, try to get “air,” etc., with their cars or motorcycles, and someone will really get hurt.

I have noticed that many humping advocates reside where they won’t have to drive over them, or have ambulances or fire trucks laden with water traverse them. Fire departments everywhere are opposed to “humps,” and with good reason. A nonbreathing patient suffers brain damage after five minutes: a structure fire doubles in size and volume every five minutes. Any delay can be disastrous.

Let’s consider alternatives, and not be “pro-humping, period!”

Don Maclay

(Ignorance can be bliss)

I remember the times

When we danced cheek to cheek

When pantyhose lasted

For more than a week

We had no phones

In our cars for chattin’

We didn’t eat pasta

Because it was fatnin’

A tan looked healthy

Tap water was clear

We could eat Steak Tar Tar

No E-coli to fear

Now we know of safe sex

And we’ve had the warning

To stay out of the sun

‘Cause of global warming

We know that our meat

Should be cooked well done

When we weren’t so smart

We had much more fun!

Geraldine Forer Spagnoli

Pianist Alan Feinberg, one of the pre-eminent exponents of 20th century American music, appears in concert with the New West Symphony Nov. 20 and 21 to play Gershwin’s “Rhapsody in Blue” and “Piano Concerto in F.” “It is of course because this is Gershwin’s 100th birthday anniversary,” says Feinberg. “And he will survive even this — the five gazillion performances.”

Feinberg spoke by telephone last week from his home in New York. The three-time Grammy nominee is reluctant to talk in “sound bites” but offers wisdom on Gershwin, musical collaboration and music pedagogy.

v

“Gershwin was trying to forge a middle ground between the classic world and the pop world — at a time when both worlds were going in high gear,” says Feinberg. “The jazz world was exploding in the early part of the century, and so was the classical world.

“Rhapsody in Blue starts out more as a kind of jazz piece and has been assimilated into its symphonic condition,” he continues.

“Gershwin himself didn’t score Rhapsody in Blue. There are a lot of different versions of it. In fact, there is no real Rhapsody in Blue. He played the piece in various versions. There must be a dozen different versions. There is no definitive version. It’s a very unusual piece in that sense. There are different orchestrations, people play different notes. The sociology of that piece is very interesting.

“But the music has persisted in its popularity, undimmed. Basically, people really like it. Whatever its weaknesses are, it’s strengths are clearly greater. In some ways, what’s more American than Rhapsody in Blue? There are compositional weaknesses. We’re talking about this piece of music that’s received like it’s a masterpiece, and yet it’s not there – there’s no definitive version of it.

“A lot of that has to do with the changes in the way people have played it over the years. The initial style of it was a much more high-energy, no-nonsense, very rhythmic, not particularly syrupy style. It reminds me of the energy that went into the building of the skyscrapers or the works projects of the ’20s.”

Feinberg terms current interpretations of Rhapsody “very Europeanized.” “They play with much more rubato [changing the duration of notes], they make big statements, they moon. They treat it like Romantic pieces, with an occasionally funny jazz itch.”

Which interpretation will he use for this concert? “It depends,” he says. “It’s a collaboration.”

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Feinberg will collaborate with New West Symphony conductor, Boris Brott. “You have a session together with the conductor,” Feinberg explains. “You talk about the logistics of having to put something together in a fairly short time. It’s everything from what tempo are we going to play at to how do we handle the trouble spots. It’s basically like getting to know somebody. . . . What’s interesting about collaborating, whether you’re playing chamber music or working with an orchestra and a conductor, is that it’s the human dynamic of people trying to do a task together, trying to find the kind of chemistry that will make it work.

“It depends on the two people involved. Assuming that you’re dealing with two reasonable people who want to do a good job, there’s always a lot of middle ground. There are all sorts of issues. The acoustics of the hall. The flexibility of the orchestra — some need more rehearsal to change the way they’re doing things. One could say the same about soloists, too.

“It is all about communication. . . . You can play with the same orchestra four nights in a row, and you get four different audiences, and the temperature, so to speak, in the hall varies. Audiences differ from country to country. The people who take out a Friday subscription are different from the Saturday night subscription. Saturday night may have more people who are dating. Thursday night may have more board members.

“Think of the audience as a barometer. There’s always weather, whether it’s high pressure or low pressure. . . .

“Playing well is hard,” he concludes. “Being a performer is hard. The whole megillah. Traveling. Being jet lagged. Being often in a place you don’t know, playing on a piano you don’t know. They’re all stressful. It’s not a low-pressure job.”

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The New Yorker also serves as associate professor at the Eastman School and visiting professor at the Juilliard School, where he teaches a graduate seminar on interpreting 20th century scores and 20th century practice. “It’s fairly sad that they need a specialist to do this,” he says. His seminar has nine students.

“One of the real fundamental problems right now in the conservatories is that the curriculum for piano students hasn’t changed very much in the last 50 years, but the music has,” he says.

“Ninety percent of the music that is taught and is considered important is music before this century.”

He polled his nine students. Only one or two had played Prokofiev; few had attempted Ravel and Rachmaninoff. “These are grad students,” he repeats.

Whether cause or effect, the number of recitals of “new” music is in decline. Feinberg says the reasons are interconnected. “There are issues in terms of lack of music education. The Zeitgeist changes. There are changes in demographics in cities. There are changes in the recording industry — there is repertoire that is so over-recorded that no one makes any money off it.”

Alan Feinberg plays Gershwin with the New West Symphony Nov. 20 at 8 p.m. at the Fred Kavli Theatre, Thousand Oaks; Nov. 21 at 8 p.m. at the Oxnard Performing Arts Center. Tel. 805/497-5880 (Thousand Oaks), 805/486-2424 (Oxnard) or Ticketmaster at 805/583-8700.