Blog: A Whole Lot of Columns

By Burt Ross · Mon May 13 2019

I was surprised to learn that this month marks the fifth year I have been writing columns for this esteemed publication. It just doesn’t seem that long ago when I started putting my observations in “the cloud,” or wherever it goes when I type into my computer. I have submitted over 200 columns, and they were all published without censorship and with minimal editing. I am grateful for that.

Initially I wrote one column every other week, and about two years ago I started writing a weekly column. My editors either did not notice or were kind enough to look the other way, so weekly columns are the new norm.

At first, I feared I would run out of ideas to write about, but au contraire. Since I see everything through the filter of strange glasses, the opposite appears to be the case--I always have several columns in the can waiting to see the light of day.

My first column, entitled “I Serve Light Fare,” was published on May 5, 2014. What I wrote then remains the same today: “I serve light fare. With a few exceptions now and then, this is a humor column. My purpose is to entertain. If you take offense at anything I write, I apologize in advance. If you take what I write literally, you do so at your own risk.  Humor trumps truth for me every time.”

Since the fire, I have deviated from light fare more often than I would have preferred, but as the healing and recovery continue, I have returned to my mindless gibberish.

Now, I understand that there are readers who occasionally do not know whether I am serious or trying to be funny. I have decided to solve this problem by following our Attorney General Barr. From now on, I will color code my columns. The color yellow will signal hilarious observations, purple just plain funny thoughts, and black for my more sinister commentary. If you think that I am actually going to color code my columns, then there is no hope for any of us.

I want to thank those of you who read my columns, and I am especially moved when one of you greets me on the street with a positive comment. Writing is a somewhat lonely affair, so knowing you are out there is comforting and motivating.

Let me propose a deal. If you keep reading my columns, I will continue to write them. That seems fair to me. What do you think?