Blog: A Whole Lot of Columns

Burt Ross

I was surprised to learn that this month marks the fifth year I have been writing columns for this esteemed publication. It just doesn’t seem that long ago when I started putting my observations in “the cloud,” or wherever it goes when I type into my computer. I have submitted over 200 columns, and they were all published without censorship and with minimal editing. I am grateful for that.

Initially I wrote one column every other week, and about two years ago I started writing a weekly column. My editors either did not notice or were kind enough to look the other way, so weekly columns are the new norm.

At first, I feared I would run out of ideas to write about, but au contraire. Since I see everything through the filter of strange glasses, the opposite appears to be the case–I always have several columns in the can waiting to see the light of day.

My first column, entitled “I Serve Light Fare,” was published on May 5, 2014. What I wrote then remains the same today: “I serve light fare. With a few exceptions now and then, this is a humor column. My purpose is to entertain. If you take offense at anything I write, I apologize in advance. If you take what I write literally, you do so at your own risk.  Humor trumps truth for me every time.”

Since the fire, I have deviated from light fare more often than I would have preferred, but as the healing and recovery continue, I have returned to my mindless gibberish.

Now, I understand that there are readers who occasionally do not know whether I am serious or trying to be funny. I have decided to solve this problem by following our Attorney General Barr. From now on, I will color code my columns. The color yellow will signal hilarious observations, purple just plain funny thoughts, and black for my more sinister commentary. If you think that I am actually going to color code my columns, then there is no hope for any of us.

I want to thank those of you who read my columns, and I am especially moved when one of you greets me on the street with a positive comment. Writing is a somewhat lonely affair, so knowing you are out there is comforting and motivating.

Let me propose a deal. If you keep reading my columns, I will continue to write them. That seems fair to me. What do you think?