Blog: The Official Sample Ballot

Burt Ross

I don’t know about you, but I just got my official sample ballot, and I am not happy, not one little bit. This is a pathetic excuse for a ballot. We are talking about a November election and, unless I am missing something, there is only one issue on the ballot, and nobody is running for anything. 

Now don’t get me wrong. Measure W (quite pleased we are using other letters in the alphabet, and if you don’t know what I am talking about, please read my column in the Oct. 22 edition of The Malibu Times, “Measure R”) is important, but I want much more to vote on than whether Whole Foods and satellite stores should come to town or stay elsewhere. I want to vote on questions like whether or not men in pornographic movies should be forced to wear condoms. Yes, I know we voted on the matter a couple of years ago, but questions like that make for good dinner conversation. Don’t you agree?

California is the most populated state in the country, and yet, apparently, no office is up for grabs. There are no candidates running for governor, attorney general, senate (state or federal) and nobody is trying to be a judge. We don’t even have anybody running for the school board or the county government. It is like the entire government is on strike, and nobody wants to serve in any of the three branches of government on any level. We don’t even have anybody running for the council. Come on Skylar, run for reelection even though your term isn’t up. Give us something to vote on.

And worst of all, there is no presidential candidate on the ballot. After listening to what already seems like endless debates where one candidate denounces another for sweating too much, I thought the campaign was finally over and the election would be settled next week. I can’t believe I have to suffer another year of this name calling. I’m not sure I can survive.

So when you look at the actual ballot (if you are voting by mail) and notice the 312 ovals of which only one is supposed to be filled in, realize as I do, that we are not getting our moneys worth. We should have a question on the ballot which states that no election should take place unless we have the chance to darken at least 50 ovals. Insist we get more bang for our buck.