I attended the introduction to Sexplanations intended for the junior high school students last Thursday night. While I think the intent is positive, making young people aware of the dangers of “sex,” and parts of the program dealing with the emotional and peer pressure problems of teen-agers is beneficial, I strongly believe that the subject material for 11- and 12-year-old girls is not age appropriate.

After the Thursday night sessions, I spoke to my daughter (12 years old) about the class and what she knew. She knew of the class and definitely does not want to go. It is a subject that she is not interested in yet. What I found out is that she has learned in fourth and fifth grade the details of “how babies get made” but she has no idea of the details of sex that your speaker is going to discuss and she is not interested in them at this time.

Age appropriate may cover a big range of children and therefore the subject can be all over the map. My daughter is not ready for understanding the sensitive areas of a man’s penis and that she actually has a clitoris that can be stimulated to orgasm to give her great joy. My wife is European and grew up in a very open and liberal home. She was surprised to see people wearing tops at the beach when she first came here. She is teaching our children a lot of this European freedom about body, mind and soul. Yet the Sexplanation class is something she does not feel comfortable about for our daughter at this time.

Has the “Big O” come to the Malibu Junior High? It is enough that women and men have to spend so much of their time trying to figure out how to have great orgasms. It is incredible that our school system thinks that this is a subject that our 11- and 12-year-old daughters should be educated on and to start to worry about. The instructor was so enthusiastic of the great pleasure orgasms can give a girl or boy and how healthy it is. Our children will surely ask why as loving parents we have not discussed orgasms with them before since they are so healthy to little children.

And since the high school program will go into greater details on masturbation, oral sex and as the literature says, the correct way of putting your fingers inside of yourself, this information will surely filter down to the junior high students. These subjects are not “age appropriate” for our 11- and 12-year-old children. Creating an environment where the parents can discuss this information, at the appropriate time with their children is positive. This on campus Sexplanations seminar in sexual awareness takes the responsibility away from the parents. Possibly some parents welcome the opportunity to have someone else do the job for them. Fine, however this should then occur in an afternoon workshop not during regular school hours.

I believe some of this material may be age appropriate for high school students who are definitely more interested in this subject. However, I believe the really essential point is completely being missed. Teenagers do things because they want to be loved, they want to fit in, they want to be part of the in group, and because of peer pressure. The idea they are making decisions on who to sleep with because of having an orgasm is ridiculous. 11- and 12-year-old girls are not out to satisfy their sexual longings and find out how to satisfy their sexual urges. They are worried about getting their first menstrual period! It may be the boys who want to experiment and they are trying any number of methods to convince the girls to go “all the way” with them or to just let them “touch” them.

By making this part of the junior high school program, you are condoning and approving of this behavior. You are pushing many children into information they are not ready for or do not want. Do they have to be protected from their classmates, who are so knowledgeable and after them to have sex. I do not know. I do know that the school is giving them information on how to sexually please themselves before they are even dating. This is definitely not age appropriate.

Before any program like this is approved for our children it should have had much more parent input on the content. It was announced and it was presented as a “done deal.” It was set and now we have the choice to send our children or not. However a lot of children that do not want go or their parents do not want them to go, will feel very awkward about this. Why, do I ask, is this necessary? Peer pressure is already going around the school of who is going and who is not. And if you do not go, you will hear about it from your friends or be teased about it from others.

This class should be given only after school for those who want to attend either by themselves or with their parents. Then the parents can discuss it with their children and build the positive communication that we all believe is the key to solving some of these problems.

Unless the course content is changed to be more appropriate for our children, I am firmly against this material being presented at Malibu schools.

Nick Bassill

Be nice to your waiter. You never know what talents are burning behind the courtesy and attentiveness.

Azdine Melliti and James Jude Courtney worked together at BeauRivage 15 years ago. Now, they have a prize-winning film, playing weekends in Santa Monica.

“Le Magique” tells the story of a 10-year-old Tunisian boy whose parents must move to France to find work. They leave him behind to mind the house. He wanders into the nearby city and discovers the movies — the magic — which becomes his obsession and ultimate salvation.

In actuality, the film is Melliti’s autobiography. He was not eager to relive those times, but was prompted by co-writer Nina Jo Baker.

It’s a sweet film, a tender celebration of humanity. Melliti complains: “There are so many movies out there that deal with the violence, the sex, the violence, the sex. I ask, ‘Do you want to leave a filthy place for your children and grandchildren?'”

Courtney quotes Erasmus: “‘Focus on the light, and the darkness will disappear by itself.’ We’re not out to change the world.”

Melliti adds, “If we can change just one or two . . .”

“Or just ourselves,” Courtney says.

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They formed Melliti Brothers Productions with Melliti’s brother Faical, who sold his limousine business to help finance the film. He says, “Every day, my brother was waiting for phone calls. I was prepared to do something. So I sold my company. I said, ‘What the heck, let’s do it.’ I don’t regret it.”

Melliti remarks, “It’s funny how my baby brother — the one who was sleeping through the whole thing in the movie — was the one who helped me.”

Melliti sold his car. The brothers “maxed out” their credit cards. They’re temporarily housed at Courtney’s Santa Monica apartment. Their friend Christian La Croix wired funds to the production company, “and we still don’t have a contract with him,” says Melliti.

They publicize the film by handing out fliers. Melliti promised a few moviegoers a money-back guaranty on it. The response overwhelms them. During their first weekend showing, a man offered $50 worth of printing for their fliers.

Melliti says he is rejuvenated when people tell him they love his movie. “People are so starved for these kinds of movies,” he says. Some have seen it five times, many others two or three times. The audiences are very mixed, of all ages and types. “Even punks,” says Melliti. “Wow, punks loving the movie?”

His family in Paris has seen the film. Their response? “We don’t talk about it,” he says. The story is still too painful for them, a reminder of an intensely impoverished life in which decisions were based on survival, not love.

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As his character, Deanie, reflects, young Melliti’s childhood desire was to be intelligent. “I struggled for many years with being told, ‘You’re not articulate enough,'” he says. “In France, I was silent for many years. I thought they were going to laugh at me. The same when I came to the United States. I had the same experience in acting classes — they told me I had the emotion but I sounded stupid.”

One of five brothers, he is self-educated. He learned to read, he says, “by being rude — a pain in the butt — asking people, ‘What is this letter? What is the sound of this?'”

When he arrived in the U.S., he applied for a job at McDonalds — and was rejected. With a French sense of style, he would apply for busboy jobs smartly dressed and carrying himself well, and was asked, “Table for one?” Potential employers here treated him better than he was treated in France, he says. “Here, when you apply for a job, they don’t ask you were you’re from. There, if you’re not French, they won’t give you a job.”

Melliti got his “break” through producer/director Karen Arthur, a customer at BeauRivage “At that time,” he recalls, “she was directing ‘Hart to Hart.’ And that’s how I got my SAG card. That night was her birthday, and we gave her really great service. She was touched. James and I, we would go out of our way to make people feel great.” He also made appearances in her productions of “Remington Steele” and “Cagney and Lacey.”

He came to the U.S. to be an actor but became disappointed by his roles — typecast as an Arab and playing terrorists, rapists and drug dealers. So he decided to create his own film work.

These days, he lives in Mammoth Lakes with his wife, Susan Hartunian, a surgeon, and their 4-year-old daughter, Najet.

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Courtney was raised in Columbia, S.C., the eldest of seven boys. His Irish mother was told she could never have children. She prayed to St. Jude, and Courtney came along. Her physician said, “That’s nice, but it will never happen again.” She gave birth to six more boys.

“Everything my parents did was focused on getting us educations and keeping us solid,” he says.

As a result, or despite this, Courtney took hold of his father’s movie camera and made his first movie when he was 11, coincidentally at the same age Melliti made his first “movie” — drawings passed in front of a flashlight. “All my school projects were films,” Courtney says. “My mom would be the cameraman, my dad gave me an editing machine. We’d experiment with light.”

He notes that he and his brothers are entrepreneurial. “That’s because we felt secure. I think that comes from love and respect and a strong commitment to education.”

He attended the University of South Carolina, where he studied broadcast journalism. “Then I stayed to study everything that had to do with film,” he says. After touring the country on a motorcycle, he found Los Angeles. While at BeauRivage, he was hired for stunt work at Universal Studios. Then came acting jobs, including work in “When a Man Loves a Woman” and “Far and Away,” and television appearances in “Knotts Landing” and “General Hospital.”

He, too, started writing because he got tired of playing small roles. He continues working as a stuntman, he says, “to pay the bills,” doubling for Garibaldi on “Babylon 5.” He also studies aikido, as well as naturopathic medicine and contact reflex analysis, and he practices reiki (hands-on healing).

His mother was a peace activist in Belfast. In the U.S., she co-founded a program to bring Irish children — Protestant and Catholic — to summer camp. Now, Courtney and Melliti are working on a film about the IRA. “The idea,” Courtney says, “is to get past the place where we need to destroy.”

Of Melliti, he says, “He’s been a very generous friend to me. He’s my brother in the true sense of the word.”

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It took the “brothers” five years to complete Le Magique.

To begin, Melliti placed an ad in the Tunisian newspaper looking for actors, and 100 people responded, all nonactors. The only character he could not seem to cast was Deanie. One day, one of the boys brought a friend. “I looked at the kid, and my heart started pounding,” Melliti says. Coincidentally, the child had also been abandoned by his parents.

“He brought a lot of emotion to the film,” says Courtney. Melliti adds, “And the boy who plays Caesar [Deanie’s best friend] too. His mom and dad are separated. He’s a computer genius. The boy who plays me is a writer; he writes children’s books.”

The young girl who plays Deanie’s love interest is Melliti’s niece. “In the movie, they’re supposed to love each other,” he says. “In reality, they hate each other. On the set, they were fighting. And in the movie, she’s supposed to hate Caesar, and they were great friends.”

Melliti worked with the kids for months, until he decided they were ready. They improvised, and Melliti wrote scenes for them.

“I wanted it to be fresh for the movie,” he says. “I developed a very close relationship with the actors. When it was time for a scene, I worked with each actor alone and brought the tone for whatever it was. I never wanted, per se, for them to do certain things. I never told them to cry. I told them, ‘Give me whatever you’re feeling, and I’ll buy it.’ I showed them the road, but I never told them . . . “

“. . . how to travel it,” Courtney says.

Melliti did not intend to act in his own movie. “I hired an actor, who never showed up to the set,” he says. He plays Caesar’s bitter, widowed father. “I had an hour to prepare. I was bigger than the other guy, and the pants didn’t fit.”

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Of his work at BeauRivage, Melliti says, “It was one of my best experiences in L.A.” Says Courtney, “They were really great people. Martin Sheen.”

“Yeah. Martin Sheen,” says Melliti. “He’s a really great guy.”

“Leo Penn,” Courtney continues. “Larry Hagman.”

“Yeah,” Melliti says. “He was a really nice man.”

“Tipped a lot.”

“Yeah. So did Martin Sheen.”

“Le Magique” shows Saturdays and Sundays at 11 a.m. at the Laemmle Monica 4, 1332 Second Street, Santa Monica. Tel. 310/394- 9741.

How immature of the Malibu City Council to run an ad supporting one political candidate over another. No wonder no one seems to take the council seriously. I cannot recall in recent history where a governing body of a city or a state has ever run such an ad. What happens if the opposing candidate gets into office — how should they feel toward such a city? Ladies and gentlemen, “grow up,” this is not a high school race! Incidentally, I would have written this letter even if you supported Randy Hoffman.

Ron Lawrence

Give me a break! The message is what’s important here not the messenger! Suzi Landolphi’s message is about kids — female and male — respecting themselves and each other. It’s about self-esteem and values. It’s about choices and decision making. It’s about peer and media pressure and the ability to understand that ultimately, the responsibility and consequence of any action is our own. Do I care who gets these points across to my child? No! Not as long as he gets the point! Do I care if a little green Martian with tiny antennas sticking out of its head, opens my son’s eyes to all his options and alternatives when it comes to sexual activity? No! Not as long as it keeps my son’s attention. So if the messenger has to stride up and down the aisles, has to act, has to beg, plead, or stand on her head – I don’t care! So long as she/he gets their attention. So long as they sit still long enough to focus and actually hear the message. And making our kids listen, focusing their minds is imperative because the truth of the matter is that most kids of high school age tune out their parents (remember how we were not supposed to trust anyone over 30)? Do I care if the messenger has degrees from 16 universities? No! Not if they are dull and righteous and unrealistic (like the “Just Say No” groups). Do I want a messenger with a message that is fear-based? No! I want a coherent, accurate and humane message.

I won’t dignify a response to the silly Beavis and Butthead reference to my abilities as a mother. I won’t dignify a response to the even sillier notion that I view sexual education as “entertainment.” And for sure I won’t dignify a response to the insulting reference to my lack of deep spiritual beliefs — all because I have made the choice that my son will hear what I perceive as smart, intelligent and to the point presentation. I read on the Internet the SEICUS pages and I found that Ms. Landolphi adheres to them — perhaps with a bit more compassion and humor — but she still follows these sensible guidelines. I do agree that there should be a broader sex education program with more presentations. But we have to start somewhere, we have to start sometime and yesterday is not soon enough.

I want my son, and all sons and daughters, to hear the message that above and beyond anything else, their safety, their health and ultimately their lives are the most precious thing for them to have and ours as parents to guard.

Nili Eli Leemon

Recently, this memo was unearthed. Maybe it will help explain why a mission could never be built in Malibu.

To: Father Junipero Serra

From: Malibu Planning Commission

Re: Request to build one Mission-style building with red roof tiles and white exterior.

We regret to inform you that your request for a building permit has been denied. For an explanation, please refer to the following motion that was introduced by Commissioner Jo Ruggles and adopted as part of the Design Guidelines for Malibu’s Hillside Development Regulations by a 3-2 vote of the Planning Commission (Commissioners Kearsley and Lipnik voted against adoption):

“Building materials and colors blend with surrounding natural landscape, do not attract attention to themselves, and minimize visual impacts.”

Planning Director Craig Ewing’s interpretation of this guideline was that no white structures with red tile roofs are allowed to be built on Malibu hillsides.

Father Serra, your proposed color scheme for your mission has officially become a big no no, ranking right up there with mortal sin and Beelzebub. The operant words are “surrounding natural landscape, do not attract attention to themselves and minimize visual impacts.” It seems that your idea of a mission with red tile roofs and white walls does not readily blend with the surrounding natural landscape and certainly does not minimize visual impacts and just might attract attention to itself.

As an alternative for the mission, may we suggest that you consult your local army? We understand that they have some lovely surplus Quonset huts that are offered in a selection of devastating camouflage colors. If you put two of the Quonset huts side by side, you can still get that mission arch effect for which your previous missions are so well known. Maybe this will start a new architectural style, which can be called the California Mission Surplus Camouflage Quonset Hut Style.

If you choose to pick up your tiles and go play somewhere else, like Santa Barbara or Ventura, may we please use the little kiosk (with the red roof tiles removed, of course) at the entrance to your canyon? We need a building to house our newly established Malibu Paint Police.

Oh, there is one more small request: One of the commissioners has been deluged with complaints about your fellow friars. It seems that many people are disturbed about the sun reflecting off of those little bald spots on the back of the good padres heads. To minimize their visual impact, when they are laboring among the heathen in Malibu, would you kindly have them pull their hoods over their heads?

The only words that come to mind when considering this guideline: “Forgive them, Father Serra, for they know not what they do.”

Ken Kearsley,

planning commissioner

Welcome to Reality.. It’s a hard place to be in, I understand. At the age of 18, I have experienced reality in Malibu. While I was a student at MHS, 10 of my schoolmates (that I know of) had abortions, five have had children and I would estimate that over 85 percent were having sexual intercourse (most of them unprotected). Before you get the misconception that the people I am talking about are children who were not raised right, I can safely assure you that most of them are church-going, conscientious students, varsity athletes, student council members — in other words, good kids. Their parents are admired members of our community. In fact, some of these kids and their parents are probably people you know — they may even be your friends.

I think “hand holding, hugging, and a kiss on the cheek” is great, but it’s also naive. MHS students are sexually active whether you like it or not. Kids need practical sex information to avoid making mistakes that can affect their entire lives. It sounds to me like this is what Suzi Landolphi is trying to do. If you believe that shielding kids from this type of sex education will keep them innocent, then you are sorely mistaken. They will just continue to get their information from other kids who are as misinformed as they are. Why in the world would you not want to give all of our students a safe environment where they can talk openly and freely about sex?

It boggles my mind that you — parents who love your children and want the best for them — cannot see how important this class is. Whenever there is a problem affecting kids at Malibu High — drugs, alcohol, bigotry — everyone jumps on the bandwagon to try to teach our kids how to prevent it. Well, “tears of sadness” should be coming to Mr. Stewart’s eyes because some kids who really need this information may not get a chance to hear it because of the fuss you have made over all of this. That’s sad. These meetings sounded more like episodes of Jerry Springer than serious discussions about sex information and how it benefits our children. For my generation, learning about safe sexual choices can be the difference between life and death.

With all due respect, I think people who deny the truth make America weak, not educators, not President Clinton and certainly not knowledge. Ignorance is the only thing that can hurt us. How many kids need to tell you that you are misguided, before you believe it? ASB president Jeremy Tarr put it perfectly, “You’re great parents trying to protect your kids, but you can’t protect them from sex. . . .”

You’ve probably heard this analogy, but in a way, it’s like having a swimming pool in your backyard. You can tell your kids not to go in the pool, you can build a fence around it, hey, you can even put a cover on it. But, if you think that there is any chance whatsoever that your children will find a way into the water, don’t you think you’d want to teach your kids how to swim? I hope you do . . . I really hope you do.

Shannon Ross

MHS Class of ’98