I understand from a reliable source that Walt Keller et al. have thankfully given up on their campaign to find a reason to fire our city attorney. The commonly accepted reason for their efforts is that she, having failed to get council approval to hire an independent counsel to handle an alleged violation of election law, pursued the matter herself, as she should. Just think maybe they could have had Ken Starr.

The harassment of Ms. Hogin has included asking her to postpone a vacation, give Keller what sounded like a minute-by-minute account of how she spent her time for some period. Then, apparently having failed, they hired a very expensive lawyer from downtown to conduct an evaluation of all the council’s direct reports, all three.

A large number of citizens have observed that if Bill Clinton had committed his sins while a CEO in the private sector he would have been fired. I think not. However, if any member of senior management had harassed a key official in the private sector as apparently happened to Ms. Hogin, you can bet that the unemployment line would have been longer by now.

So where are we now? Have Ms. Hogin’s pursuers slunk quietly away from a failed and disgraceful effort. I would too. Or maybe one of the individuals responsible will have the courage to stand on the steps of City Hall and apologize — to all of us. I will be there.

I will also be at the polls on next election day with my long memory. And I will hope to have some company, lots of it. Explaining strange behavior of some city officials to people over six time zones is tiresome.

Bill Liverman

Once more you manipulate the facts to support your self-serving point of view.

I realize as an editor you need not tell the truth but it would serve this community if you would at least try to sort facts from fiction. I dare you to print this letter without changing it as you often do.

I’m sure we disagree on the quality of the City Attorney’s service and perhaps no one is truly objective. If the November evaluation of the City Attorney by the City Council was favorable, then all further actions would be superfluous. If not, it would seem to be fair to re-evaluate her so that she would know the problems.

As to the evaluation being connected to the investigation, you quote Walt Keller, the George Washington of Malibu, as saying, “it’s unrelated to the investigation.” Are you calling him a liar, Arnold? After all, he was in the closed session, not you. Where are you getting your information, I wonder? Could it be or is it possible that you are defending the leak of your inside information.

In regard to the Independent Prosecutor, Ms. Hogin herself withdrew the request for him saying she was unhappy with his proposal. It had nothing to do with the City Council. She has now been on this for 10 months.

I applaud you for supporting our local Kenneth Starr and think perhaps you should start a new campaign to make her Dean of Pepperdine.

Gene Wood

In the Dec. 9 issue, an article about a Malibu Car Wash indicated that a number of local residents came to the defense of a business owner whose conditional use permit was before the Planning Commission for revocation because it used too many parking spaces. In short the business was too successful. This business received an incredible show of support because he provides a needed service in the city, and he is well liked.

All well and good. However, unless this and any other car wash in the city utilizes a catch basin or other containment device for both liquid and solid runoff, they are making a living at contaminating Malibu Lagoon and Surfrider Beach! The fact is that a commercial car wash that does not catch and treat its effluent is guilty of pollution. This is considered “nonpoint discharge” and is a violation of the Clean Water Act.

A call to a nearby car wash in Thousand Oaks yielded some enlightening information. Newly constructed car washes are required to have some type of water treatment capability and recycle much of their water. The average car wash has approximately 10 tons of sludge material trucked away three times a year to be treated as industrial waste. The average home car wash takes about 50 to 100 gallons of water; most of the “mobile” car washes require between eight and 11 gallons of water per car. Along with the dirty water, some incredibly caustic substances are generated. Certain brake linings contain asbestos. A byproduct of catalytic converters is sulfuric acid. This sulfuric acid results in acidified hydrocarbons that accumulates on your car to be washed away during the car wash process. This does not even take into consideration what is washed from the tires, and oil and grease from road use. All of this makes its way into Malibu Lagoon.

Every child knows that what we place in our streets will make its way to storm drains and eventually into the ocean. We continuously hear about the water quality of Malibu Lagoon and the resultant effect on Surfrider Beach. Before we condemn far-off polluters, we should clean up our backyard first.

The city should be far less concerned about over parking at the car wash, and begin to look at the amount of industrial waste being generated to the Lagoon and Surfrider Beach.

The city of Thousand Oaks, supported by the Sierra Club, carefully reviewed this issue a few years ago and strongly regulated this type of car wash. Perhaps our city staff could gain some insight from the staff work already available by that city to help make sure that this type of business operates in an environmentally friendly manner.

John Falk

I would like to express my disappointment over the reselection of the AYSO Boys Under-12 All-Star soccer team.

When I was chosen to coach the team, the division director, myself and the rest of the coaches nominated 21 players for consideration — 15 to be on the team, plus 3 alternates. This was done on Tuesday, Nov 23. The following Saturday the division director gave me the OK to call the boys that were selected. I did and everyone called accepted.

The following Tuesday at the Bluffs Park the AYSO commissioner said to me he was unsure about two of the players chosen. However, (and these were the commissioner’s words), “If you don’t hear from me or anyone else by tonight, consider the team to be final.” I waited until Thursday. Nobody called me with any changes, so everyone chosen for All-Stars was contacted again, to set up a practice.

Due to the sudden illness of my daughter, Michelle, I decided to relinquish my head coaching duties. The position should have been turned over to our Assistant Coach, James Whalen, with the team left intact.

However, a new coach was brought in, and five players were replaced on the team, some of whom were never even given the courtesy of a phone call, to inform them they had been replaced. After six years of coaching boy’s soccer here in Malibu, I believe I have a good understanding of how a team should be chosen. It should not be based upon how much influence can be exerted on behalf of players who were not chosen, by parents who now wish to restructure the team.

Certainly a wrong message is being sent, both to those being summarily dismissed, and to those newly acquiring a position on the team in such a strange manner, that it is all right to treat players and parents in this way.

As in any selection process, some people will be disappointed. The team was chosen based on positions, ability and chemistry. Age and size were not a consideration.

Mike Doyle

“Les Miserables” — the Boublil/Schonberg/Kretzmer version — is an opera. We know this because all parts are sung. Opera requires impeccable voices. The “Miz” currently playing at the Ahmanson Theatre misses in this regard.

If one’s first reaction is to think this production’s music is “canned,” perhaps it is because the orchestra is overamplified.

And if the orchestra is overamplified, it may be to cover up the inadequacy of many of the voices.

Do you hear the people sing? Some. One can understand every word of the young performers, Maggie Martinsen and Alison Fidel, who alternate roles as young Cosette and young Eponine, and Cameron Teitelman as Gavroche.

Among the adults, some can’t hit the high notes, one can’t voice the lows.

Still, the Victor Hugo story remains majestic and personal, timeless and timely. It poses questions of conscience, self-awareness, unselfish love and, of course, revolution.

And revolve the production does. Yes, it is the original Trevor Nunn/John Caird production, with its huge revolving stage that lets scene changes be visual magic and the massive barricades of the young French revolutionaries whirl back and forth.

The acting is fine, skilled and sincere.

As Valjean, Ivan Rutherford is compelling, huge in physical presence and impressive in vocal range. Stephen Bishop offers a subtly evil Javert, but he unfortunately doesn’t age as well as Rutherford’s Valjean.

Kevin Earler is an inspired leader as Enjolras, Tim Howar a sweet romantic as Marius. Regan Thiel provides a gentle Cosette, Sutton Foster a gamine Eponine who sings a genuine, show-stopping “On My Own.”

J.P. Dougherty and Aymee Garcia play the scene-stealing Thnardiers with contagious energy.

For those who like their productions “big,” this is it. Lighting (David Hersey), sets (John Napier) and sound (David Andrews Rodgers, musical director, and Andrew Bruce/Autograph, sound) are as huge as “opera” gets — so far.

“Les Miserables” plays through Feb. 12 at the Ahmanson Theatre at the Los Angeles Music Center. Tel. 213.628.2772 or online at www.TaperAhmanson.com.

The Lord spoke to Noah and said, “Noah, in six months I am going to make it rain until the whole world is covered with water and all the evil things are destroyed. But, I want to save a few good people and two of every living thing on the planet. I am ordering you to build an ark.” And, in a flash of lightning, he delivered the specifications for the ark.

“OK,” Noah said, trembling with fear and fumbling with the blueprints, “I’m your man.”

“Six months and it starts to rain,” thundered the Lord. “You better have my ark completed or learn to swim for a long, long time!”

Six months passed, the sky began to cloud up, and the rain began to fall in torrents. The Lord looked down and saw Noah sitting in his yard, weeping, and there was no ark.

“Noah!” shouted the Lord, “where is my ark?” A lightning bolt crashed into the ground right beside Noah.

“Lord, please forgive me!” begged Noah. “I did my best, but there were some big problems. First, I had to get a building permit for the ark’s construction, but your plans did not meet their code. So, I had to hire an engineer to redo the plans, only to get into a long argument with him about whether to include a fire-sprinkler system.

“My neighbors objected, claiming that I was violating zoning ordinances by building the ark in my front yard, so I had to get a variance from the city planning board.

“Then, I had a big problem getting enough wood for the ark, because there was a ban on cutting trees to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the environmentalists and the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service that I needed the wood to save the owls, but they wouldn’t let me catch them, so no owls.

“Next, I started gathering up the animals, but got sued by an animal rights groups that objected to me taking along only two of each kind.

“Just when the suit got dismissed, the EPA notified me that I couldn’t complete the ark without filing a environmental impact statement on your proposed flood. They didn’t take kindly to the idea that they had no jurisdiction over the conduct of a Supreme Being.”

“Then, the Corps of Engineers wanted a map of the proposed flood plan. I sent them a globe!

“Right now, I’m still trying to resolve a complaint with the Equal Employment Opportunities Commission over how many minorities I’m supposed to hire.

“The IRS has seized all my assets claiming that I am trying to leave the country, and I just got a notice from the state that I owe some kind of use tax. Really, I don’t think I can finish the ark in less than five years.”

With that, they sky cleared, the sun began to shine. and a rainbow arched across the sky.

Noah looked up and smiled. “You mean you are not going to destroy the world?” he asked hopefully.

“No,” said the Lord, “the government already has.”

Author unknown

We got back late Sunday night in one of those whirlwind airport marathon days where you start out in Barcelona at 8 in the morning and then to Paris to change planes and on to New York where you change planes again and then a final leg to Los Angeles. With the nine-hour time difference, you arrive home exhausted and punchy and god awful tired of airplane food. I now consider myself an expert on the nuanced differences in the airline cuisine, which goes from blah to very blah. Even flying part of the way on Air France didn’t seem to make much difference. Whatever the legend of French cuisine, it certainly doesn’t extend to airplane food.

But Spain was a totally different experience and a sheer delight. Karen and I took one of those Renaissance cruises, which starts in Lisbon and ends in Barcelona with stops at Cadiz, and Malaga and Palma de Mallor and some interim stops at Tunis and Casablanca and then Gibraltar. Normally we don’t do cruises, but this time we wanted everything taken care of, sort of your baggage stays with you and your hotel moves, which is exactly what it turned out to be.

Spain has changed, but it’s also the same. I remember it in 1968 when Franco was still in power, and the Guardia Civil wore those tri-cornered hats, and all carried submachine guns and look eager to use them. You could smell the lingering, sour aroma of fascism wherever they stood. They’re still there but now they’re all older men and pot-bellied, and their uniforms don’t fit quite as nicely, and that lean and hungry look is gone, and no one seems to pay them much attention, and Spain seems happier and more prosperous.

Karen and I walked everywhere the ship stopped. What I began to notice is that there doesn’t seem to be the poverty we see in our country. I’m not sure why, but there just isn’t.

The Spanish live life with style, and it’s absolutely contagious. They do everything wrong, and yet it works for them.

At 2 p.m., the country closes down and everyone goes to lunch, which is usually a two- to three-hour affair. We walked into restaurants at 2 and no one was there, other than a few other Americans, and then by 2:30 it was packed.

They claim lunch is their big meal, but I never noticed them eating any less at dinner, yet they don’t seem to be as fat as most Americans. It’s unusual to see a really obese Spaniard, and we simply couldn’t figure it out.

They eat dinner at 10, which every weight watcher knows is absolutely wrong. They never seem to deny themselves dessert, they drink wine with their dinner, and they eat their share of fatty foods. Then they drink very strong caffeinated coffee and still don’t seem to have any trouble sleeping. It makes you wonder how much of what we believe about all those things is just hype.

The Spanish appear to enjoy life. They don’t appear as harried as Americans. Even in a large city like Barcelona, where the pace is noticeably faster, it’s still not L.A. or New York, and yet business goes on, and they appear to get everything done.

They do something we could copy, and they do it everywhere. They have public spaces, with small gardens, benches and outdoor cafs, and there is a very long tradition of having the cities, even the small cities, very people oriented. It’s not just a recent development. You see it in the fortress built by the Moors a thousand years ago, which have been restored and have terraced gardens and benches and small water fountains. The original Moors had it, and the country has kept the tradition, which may tell us something about the quality of their life.

The people were very polite and helpful and generally treated each other graciously. I saw one guy take another’s parking spot, and, except for a few words and a fleeting gesture, it ended quickly. In L.A., they’d still be cursing at each other. In New York, one would have shot the other dead.

But the most amazing thing was when we went to visit the Gaudi cathedral and buildings in Barcelona, built in the early part of this century. There they are, curvy and whimsical, and world famous and filled with tourists from all over taking snapshots. And, I must admit, all I could think of was, “How in heavens could he have ever gotten those plans through the Barcelona planning commission?”

It really is a good idea to get away from Malibu from time to time.