Malibu’s Hand in Hand community celebrates Valentine’s Day

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Several teens and young adults with disabilities joined with their non-disabled peers recently for the Hand in Hand Valentine's dance at the Malibu Jewish Center. Photos courtesy Dana Rubin Photography

Participants of all abilities dance the night away in joyous celebration 

A red carpet, streamers, balloons, and glamorous photo-op backdrop greeted those attending the Hand in Hand Valentine’s dance Friday night at the Malibu Jewish Center and Synagogue. The community venue was transformed into a Hollywood-style, glittering affair for the young adults who cherish the beloved Malibu program Hand in Hand.

Hand in Hand is a social inclusion program pairing teens and young adults with disabilities with non-disabled peers for social activities. Once a week, the group gathers for singing, cooking, and “fostering friendships for the people with disabilities to have time with peers who are not disabled,” said special educator Lisa Szilagyi, one of the founders of the group along with Janet Ettinger and Rabbi Marcelo Gindlin. Hand in Hand has a profound effect on everyone involved including the many volunteers who help participants one on one with activities while fostering friendships.

“People with significant disabilities are often isolated in classrooms, in therapies; they don’t really get to just be kids very often hanging out with peers just having fun that isn’t in a therapeutic setting,” Szilagyi explained. “Hand in Hand was started so we could provide, with supervision, an opportunity for people with and without disabilities to come together to just have fun through different activities; music, crafts, and outings designed to work on skills supported by their peers who don’t have disability. We started the dance because most of the participants with disabilities don’t get to go to school dances, proms, and social events other kids get to go to. It takes a lot of effort.”  

Some of that help comes from caregivers and volunteers, especially from Pepperdine University and Malibu High School, who decorate, socialize, and dance with attendees during the formal. Pepperdine freshmen Nicole Castro and Abby Heffernan were just two of the volunteers Friday night. 

“I’ve been coming to the Hand in Hand events. It’s just my passion,” said Heffernan who also volunteered in high school with a group for people with visible and non-visible disabilities. She said she hopes to continue volunteering throughout college and into her professional career.

Adding to Friday’s festivities were a DJ, emcee, and dancer from Amplified Entertainment who kept the party going with bubbles, beaded necklaces, smiles, and beats that had even those in wheelchairs out on the dance floor. 

“At one of our first dances one of the parents watching her daughter dancing was in tears, saying, ‘I never thought my daughter would be able to participate in something like this.’ It’s so much fun,” Szilagyi recalled.

The Hand in Hand program is hosted by MJCS, but is nondenominational. It’s open to anybody who wants to join. Participants range from age 13 to their 30s. 

“We have people with a wide spectrum of different abilities,” Szilagyi said. “Our volunteers just need to have a heart and want to be here. We provide training to communicate with someone who doesn’t use spoken language, help someone with physical limitations get involved with cooking activities and crafts. We try to make everything accessible to everyone and as easy as possible to come and have fun.” 

The program is funded through grants. There is no charge to participate.

Dressed for the occasion, one participant named Margaret stated, “Hand in Hand is one of my favorite groups to be with. I love to swim and of course I do their performances.”

Gindlin commented, “We felt the need to do this for them because everybody deserves a night of celebrating love and dance and joy and being united through movement. Most importantly after the pandemic we have the need to gather in person to do things that will bring the community together, especially this community.”

Since the pandemic, the group meets every Thursday afternoon online, easing the preparation for those in wheelchairs where traveling takes time-consuming preparation. 

“Our Thursday afternoon gatherings are a highlight in everybody’s week,” Szilagyi said.

Once a month the group meets in person for an activity such as trips to parks or the zoo.

“Everyone who has a friend or family member who needs a space to socialize and foster friendships that will last a lifetime should come and join Hand in Hand, which is a wonderful community of teenagers and young adults of all ‘diversabilities.’ They socialize, learn yoga, singing, woodwork, cooking, who doesn’t like to eat,” said Gindlin. “This Valentine’s winter formal celebrates love. We need to bring love to this world.”