Many Malibuites shared their experiences with Matt and his dedication to his profession and his family
By Barbara Burke
Special to The Malibu Times
“My uncle Matt was a legend! Many can attest to his antics on and off the beach in the ’80s, but that wasn’t the Matt I knew,” Brian Rapf posted on Facebook on Feb. 8, four short days after receiving the gut-punching, tragic news that Matt Rapf, 61, an iconic and much-adored son of Malibu, suddenly died in the ocean that he loved during a paddle-out to honor Lyon Herron.
“I knew a thoughtful, caring, introspective family man who always gave more than he took. He was a pillar of the local Alcoholics Anonymous and church communities, and he commanded respect because he walked the walk and never turned down an opportunity to help a friend or a stranger — he helped hundreds of people get sober while offering his love and support if you chose a different path,” Brian continued. “I knew a respected businessman who stuck to his core beliefs and prioritized friendships and integrity over money. The most important thing in his life was his family, and he spent more time with Jill, Luke, and Chloe than most families could dream of — we need more people like @MattRapf.”
Brian’s touching accolades honoring his uncle are resoundingly echoed by all who knew Matt Rapf. There are several laudable, common themes amidst the comments uttered by lamenting loved ones, friends and colleagues.
Matt was a giver.
According to his good friend, Peter Register, “Matt was an incredible person and a true Malibu fixture. In a nutshell … Matt gave more than he took. He gave his heart and soul to his family, friends, and the Malibu community he loved deeply. Matt was a Malibu steward. He really couldn’t stop giving.”
Matt was a loving family man, a doting husband and father, and a man of God.
“He would come into his office in this lovely home we just moved into last year, and he was so happy here; so peaceful. He would take an hour to meditate and for morning prayers,” said Jill, his grieving wife of 21 years. “He loved Psalm 91, which is used by a lot of generals going into battle because it is a Psalm of protection — Matt would read his bible passages and he was such a seeker — he always wanted to get the bible’s messages right.”
As Matt’s loving community struggles greatly to process the shocking news, those who loved him most gathered on Feb. 18 to celebrate his 62nd birthday at the place he loved so much, The Gathering, his beloved place of worship.
There were macadamia nut cookies that his daughter, Chloe, made and, of course, a birthday cake. It provided some solace to many who knew and loved him.
Matt was full of life.
““He was so strong — like a charging bull — nothing could stop him,” Jill said. “He traveled all over the place and had recently returned from a church mission trip to the Dominican Republic.”
Matt and Jill went on surf trips to Fiji, Indonesia, El Salvador, and Nicaragua, saying, “We were best friends. We surfed together and were happy to be together — we laughed everyday.”
They had two trips planned, to New Zealand and the Maldives. Plans thwarted by fate, which cruelly wrenched Matt from those who he loved, leaving them with a heart-wrenching, hollow space and wondering why. He was, Jill shared, teary-eyed, shattered, and grieving, “So full of love. He had it down — how to be present, to love, to be, to live.”
Matt was an intellect and a writer.
“I knew a passionate reader and writer who went back to school as an adult, striving to better himself and those around him.” Brian posted online, referring to his Uncle Matt.
Matt went back to get his degree in his 40s, Jill said, “He wrote a book that one day might be episodic for Netflix.”
Matt was “Old Malibu.” Real Malibu.
Matt grew up in the Colony, where his father also spent his childhood. He spent his young years living in a large home that overlooked Third Point, and surfed every day, either at Third Point or Old Joe’s.
When he was interviewed by Tony Mark in “The Malibu Podcast,” the People’s History of Malibu, Matt characterized his childhood as a privileged life.
Some stories he shared with Mark involved his wild escapades in the ’80s before he got sober.
However, one involved what Matt characterized in the podcast as a “dwelling-challenged person” named Chester, who lived next to his family’s house for 17 years.
“Matt was always helping people and taking him under their wing,” his older brother Jim Rapf said. “He insisted on taking Chester Thanksgiving dinner, and that advanced over time to him taking Chester many meals.”
Most people in the Colony deemed Chester “crazy,” Jim said. “However, years later, Chester became a responsible citizen, and he lived in people’s guest houses on the Colony and helped people doing odd jobs.”
That story, Jim Rapf said, exemplified how it was “just Matt’s nature — right from the beginning when he was a young kid — he was always helping people. He was a remarkable human who was there for everybody.”
Matt was a helluva realtor.
“He was good at real estate,” Jill said. “Not so long ago, he commented that he was lucky that he could sustain his family in real estate, which is hard to do.”
Matt learned real estate from the best of the best — his mother, Carol Rapf, who was known as “The Queen of Malibu Real Estate.” Matt told Mark in the podcast as he proudly displayed a picture of his mom in the Colony riding her bike, “She was always selling real estate on her bike between tennis games.”
Her way of selling real estate was unconventional, but very Malibu, Matt added.
Malibu Association of Realtors President Susan Cosentino commented about the local real estate community losing Matt.
“Matt Rapf was not only a respected figure within the Malibu professional real estate community but also a beloved member of our community. His deep roots in Malibu, coupled with his unwavering dedication to his profession and his family, made him an integral part of our lives.” Cosentino said. “Matt’s reputation as a realtor who went above and beyond to assist others, coupled with his exemplary character as a family man, left an indelible mark on all who had the pleasure of knowing him. Matt’s sudden departure has left us all reeling, and his absence will be keenly felt by many.”
Cosentino added, “However, amidst the sadness, we take comfort in knowing that his legacy of kindness, professionalism, and community spirit will endure. Our thoughts are with his family during this difficult time.”
Matt Rapf, taken from those who knew and loved him — and from Malibu — far too soon, meant so much to so many.
“I’ve known Matt since we were kids — we rode the bus to Santa Monica together and he was very good friends with my late husband, Dusty Peak,” Denise Peak said. “Matt was like part of the family — we’d always see him on the beach and he always had a huge smile on his face.”
So many Malibuites grieve the sudden loss of Matt
“It’s hard to put into words what losing a friend of 55 years means,” Andy Lyon said. “Matt and I were lifelong friends and he was such a huge part of my life. He touched so many people in different circles in Malibu and will be missed by so many people. My heart goes out to Jill, Luke, and Chloe and all of his family, which I feel I have always been a part of — he was a one-of-a-kind guy.”
Agreeing, his older brother, Jim Rapf said, “Matt’s kids need to know what a great man Matt was and how very remarkable a legacy he leaves behind.”