By Philip Ross, Guest Columnist
Note to Reader: My one and only sibling, Phil Ross, is a professional journalist turned therapist. He is not only the real writer in the family, but, at least according to him, is funnier than I, his younger brother by three years and nine months.
For several years, my brother Burt has been urging me to write a guest column. He says this will give him a break from the daunting task of entertaining his readers with words witty and wise. The truth, I suspect, is that he hopes his big brother will use this occasion to shower him with praise.
And so I shall. But first, a few recollections from his otherwise monumental, dare I say, Herculean life we need to get out of the way.
As kids, Burt and I slept in the same bedroom. His idea of a great night was to wait, until we were about to fall asleep, then start shouting, “Mom, Dad, help!!! Phil is hitting me!” Needless to say, the folks would come racing in, ignore my pleas of innocence, and warn me of the dire consequences that would befall me if I didn’t leave my poor little brother alone. And when they left, that lousy little brother’s face would light up with a grin, and he would drift off into blissful sleep.
At Harvard, Burt was introduced to Princess Christina of Sweden, who was attending Radcliffe at the time. “Pleased to meet you,” he greeted the Princess. “I’ve heard that Copenhagen is one of the most beautiful cities in the world.”
A couple of years before he ran for mayor, Burt thought his career might be as a standup comedian. He put together a routine and tried it out at a Chinese restaurant. The audience response? Let’s just say it was so quiet you could hear the sound of chopsticks.
Okay, so nobody’s perfect. Let’s get back to the good stuff, the qualities which make Burt not just my brother but my idol. Three things that immediately come to mind:
Burt has never knowingly run a red light.
He always gives his wife a card on her birthday.
He’s never asked me for a loan.
And there you have it. May these accolades fill my brother’s heart with pride and joy.