By Burt Ross
Before the 2024 Olympic Games fade entirely from our rear-view mirror, I want to dwell on one human interest story which did not receive adequate attention, or at least not in my opinion.
The Filipinos are not known for winning medals at either the Summer or Winter Olympic Games, but this summer a man named Carlos Yulo won two gold medals for his outstanding performances as a gymnast. In fact, this was the first time a male Filipino came home with a gold medal. And boy, when he came home, the Filipinos did not hold back in showing their appreciation of their new-found hero!
Now Yulo already understood that he was about to be given a house, because the country’s government had already promised all prospective Filipino gold medalists a house, but the house was simply the beginning. It seemed like the entire country wanted to bestow its appreciation on Carlos.
In addition to the house, the gold medalist was given a fully furnished two-bedroom condo valued at $415,000. Poor Carlos will not know which dwelling to call his home. The Philippine Sports Commission threw in $173,000, and the country’s House of Representatives added another $73,000. (I am beginning to think I pursued the wrong profession and should have moved to the Philippines as a young child.)
His fellow countrymen did not want Carlos to go hungry, so they also donated a lifetime of free ramen, free buffets, free cookies, and free meals from numerous local establishments.
In my opinion, the most valuable gift by far was a lifetime of free colonoscopies, but only once Carlos reaches 45. He is now only 24, but if he eats all the free ramen, buffets, and cookies, he might well need the colonoscopies before he makes it to 45.
I checked around and no such offer has been made to our gold medalists. LeBron James, Steph Curry, Kevin Durant, and the rest of them will simply have to pay for their own colonoscopies.