Tips on how to enjoy the Super Bowl

A table of yummy food for your Super Bowl party, from left: Spinach dip bowl, kale with bean dip in the center, and chips and hummus. Photo by Nira Lichten / TMT

Unless you’re a New Yorker or live in a dream world, you hopefully realize this Sunday’s Super Bowl is going to be a less-than-competitive contest. Stop talking about how the Giants ALMOST beat the Patriots in the last game of the regular season. That game was at Giants Stadium, and the home team still lost. So it’s not going to happen on a neutral field. And don’t even bother with the theories about Tom Brady’s “injured” ankle. Unless he starts dating Jessica Simpson before the end of the week, the guy is leading his team to victory, and to a historical perfect season.

And just one thing about the perfect season. As a person who grew up in Miami as a hardcore Dolphins fan, I am extremely insulted by people saying the Patriots will be breaking the 1972 Dolphins’ record. (I realize you’re thinking how I wasn’t alive during the season, nevertheless it still means something to me.) Just because the Patriots will be winning two more games than the Dolphins did, it doesn’t mean they are breaking any record. That’s the beauty of a perfect season. It’s a record that can’t be broken. It can only be tied.

Meanwhile, to keep things interesting during what should be a dreadful game, I recommend placing heavy wagers on the coin flip, on whether there will be a safety and the over/under on the number of interceptions Eli Manning throws (hint, the good run for the “other” Manning ends on Sunday). And, of course, make sure to converse with fellow partiers during the game, and keep silent during the commercials. And if you don’t understand the ad, don’t ask somebody to explain it to you. That’s really embarrassing. Just suffer in silence.

For those who want to be the life of the party, the following recipes are recommended from The Malibu Times staff.

Marilyn Arbetman’s Bean Dip

1. Sauté two large shallots in

olive oil.

2. Add two fresh chopped tomatoes and one can of white beans.

3. Season with garlic powder and parmesan cheese.

4. Serve with chips

Marilyn Arbetman’s Kale

1. Sauté fresh scallions in olive oil.

2. Add two bunches of chopped fresh kale, garlic powder and salt.

3. Cook until soft

Marilyn recommends serving the kale on the same plate with the bean dip.

Mary Abbott’s Hummus

1. Buy it at Costco.

2. Open the container.

Barbara Calandra’s

Spinach Dip Bowl

14 oz. sour cream

1 cup mayonnaise

4 scallions (chopped)

1 bag fresh spinach (chopped)

1 pkg. Knorr onion soup mix

1. Mix all ingredients together.

2. Refrigerate and serve in scooped-out sour dough bread.

3. Chop the inside portion of the bread into bite-size pieces and serve for dipping.

Kimberly Kilgore’s

Cheesy Chili Dip

2 cans of no-bean chili

1 block of real cream cheese

(add Tabasco for a little kick)

Put the mixture together in the microwave and heat. After a minute or so, stir and repeat until you have a nice, warm, cheesy chili dip.