… many years ago, there lived an eligible bachelor. After firmly deciding to marry, he started looking for a bride. Unfortunately, no luck was on his side in the beginning. The prospective brides were either lazy or spoiled, or too bossy. The bachelor came to the conclusion that he had been looking in all the wrong homes. Changing his tactics, he began going from door to door, offering plums for trash. While some people were laughing at him and others were not, all were flocking to his cart. The fellow knew that the homes with the least quantity would be the cleanest ones, therefore the people living in them would not be lazy or spoiled. Once a nice girl came to his cart, carrying a very small bag. “This is all I was able to collect,” she said. “May I still have plums for it?” Not only did the bachelor give her plums but he later married her. They lived happily thereafter.
I do not know why I have been often reminded of this old European folk tale early in the morning, Monday to Friday, driving east of the Malibu Pier. Even if the analogy may be too far-fetched, it seems to me that on any given day there are at least two eligible bachelors, simultaneously and diligently, going from door to door at the same homes on the ocean side of PCH. There must be a lot of trash produced there so speedy, daily pick-ups have been warranted. I don’t think plums are offered anymore, and horse-drawn carts are history. These days, they drive huge blue trucks with flashing yellow lights on top. Along that particular stretch of PCH, there is little room between the houses and the right eastbound lane; the visibility can be quite limited because of the many turns of the road. The parking spaces along the homes are usually occupied by the local residents’ vehicles. Having the trash trucks stop between them adds tremendously to the already existing hazard. Quite frequently I do witness near-accidents being narrowly avoided. Why does trash have to be picked up every day? Why does it have to happen in traffic-intensive hours? Do the people in those homes enjoy the benefits of some special, private, more frequent trash-collecting schedule?
If the blue trucks activity on PCH could be limited to earlier hours, two days per week only (one of them possibly during the weekend), then the hazard for the eastbound motorists would be substantially reduced. Given the recently increased occurrence of multiple car and injury accidents in that very stretch of the road, the last thing we need is a huge truck involved in a collision. Particularly when such a hazard can be avoided just by better planning.
Ian Popov