Face of Malibu Rebuilds is a new series from artist Johanna Spinks, featuring Malibu residents and their experiences before, during and after the Woolsey Fire. If you have a fire story you would like to share with The Malibu Times, a person of note or courage, or a person who just needs some cheer around this difficult rebuild time, to be sketched for this series, please contact Spinks at johanna@johannaspinks.com or The Malibu Times Managing Editor Emily Sawicki at emily@malibutimes.com.
Spinks, a professional portrait artist and longtime Malibu resident, is donating her time to this series for the interviews and sketches. Readers may remember her original Face of Malibu portrait series that ran monthly in The Malibu Times for five years. You can see more examples of her portrait work at johannaspinks.com.
Sue Sands, 77, thought the picture-perfect Malibu mountain home she shared with husband Don, 79, was their golden years’ forever place. Sue enjoyed a fulfilling retirement, surrounded by a lifetime’s collection of special things, including her love of blue and white china and Don’s talent for hand-carved wood cabinetry work in their home. Sue, a former bookkeeper, petite in stature but large in her optimistic view of life, gave this interview just as she was settling into a new temporary home, a Christmas tree already in place. Though tears were shed often during the interview, Sue’s resolve shone through.
What is your back story with Malibu? Tell us a little about your life and old home.
We moved to Malibu in 1976, to Malibu Villas, where we lived across from Paradise Cove. Then, 18 years ago, we moved up into the hills to the Malibu Highlands. We wanted to have the house experience after living in a condo. Don, my husband, was working until about three years ago as a maritime lawyer. We loved this house; we loved this neighborhood, our neighborhood. We were like the neighborhood grandparents and we use to give neighborhood Easter egg hunts when the kids were little. Most of the families moved in around the same time. This was our forever home. I like to give parties and the house was perfectly set up for it; we belong to a dinner club. Life was very social in this house. We were in such a peaceful, quiet, loving neighborhood. I still see myself spending the rest of my golden years here. My four grandchildren would come to visit. At one point, we had 10 people staying. Cots and futons set up all over the house.
What was your direct experience of the Woolsey Fire?
We never went to bed that night. We have evacuated a number of times, twice from this neighborhood, and we had always come home. This time we just assumed it would be the same way, so stupidly we didn’t take stuff. We were watching TV that night so we knew about the fire. Watching, and watching, and expecting them to get control of it. When they said there was a mandatory evacuation to Mulholland Highway, we decided to go at about three in the morning. Our neighbor Kelly wanted her kids to go with us so they drove behind us and we went to Santa Monica. We took everything for the dogs and left everything important for us, including my car, in the garage. We stayed at Kelly’s office during the night with her daughters and all our pets. On the second day we got a call from Kelly saying that one of our neighbors had hiked up from Zuma. He went in to our neighborhood, and reported back that our house was gone along with most of the neighborhood. I don’t cry very often, but it makes me cry now thinking of it. I keep thinking, “It’s gone, you can’t go back, you can only go forward,” but it makes me cry. It is what it is. I try not to dwell on the past because there is no point.
We tried to get in [to the neighborhood] but the roadblocks turned us away twice. Don volunteers with VOP [Volunteers on Patrol] in Malibu. This was eight days after the fire. We met with them at IHOP and followed them up. They went in and confirmed the house was gone. We had a little red birdhouse; the birdhouse survived and the VOP bought us the birdhouse. When I saw the house at first, I was fine, but when people are nice to me I start to cry. I try not to. I am not the only one going through this. I keep telling myself, “Give it up, there is only going forward.” It is hard to look at it and not be affected by it. Tracey, my daughter, also found this little iron dog she had given us many years ago in the rubble and we now have it in our new place.
What will your rebuild look like?
Absolutely the same. We are going to re-build the same house, as are our neighbors. I loved that house; it functioned so well for us, except for the bees. [Laughs]
We haven’t had a bee problem since [they swarmed around us at a dinner party]! We will be in this rental house for probably two years or more depending on things. It’s probably going to take a number of months before we even begin.
Our insurance company has been wonderful; they have been paying off like a slot machine. They went over it with a drone and recognized it as a total loss. We were assigned an agent right away, even as he was on a plane getting here. We found this rental house on Zillow quickly. Tracey was looking, too. It was a great relief because I knew we had a place to go to, but especially to supervise our Malibu [rebuild] life. It was a way to get back to normal. I said: “I’ll take it!” as soon as I saw the front of the house.
We are in somewhat of a holding pattern until we get the yellow tag certificate.
[This has since happened.]
Don tells me it will be put on a stake in the ground. Then we can go to the county to get a permit. Then we have to decide whom to hire. You have to be so careful. If you hire a removal company, you have to be very sure to hire a county-approved company, which will have all the resources to dispose of all the debris.
What has been the hardest aspect of this experience for you?
The details. The details make you crazy. The first thing I had to do was cancel the phone and DirecTV, the water bill, propane delivery, then I had to call and get everything turned on in the new house. Going to all these meetings. It was good to connect with people who are also going through this. My friend Karen York, who lost her house in ’93, said to always carry a notebook, write everything down, don’t go anywhere without it, and I haven’t. My purse has become my office. But, I find myself unable to concentrate. Tracey gave me a bunch of recipes to try and get me baking, but I find it hard right now. I can’t even read a book. I have the radio going all day long but I’m not even hearing it. I feel like I’ve put my finger in an electric outlet and everything is jangled. By 8 o’clock at night I am so done. I am waiting for it to be 9 o’clock so I can shower and go to bed.
Any shining moments?
Getting the house and all the furniture, dishes and household goods that have been donated to us. It just says “love.” We have been so fortunate. Everyone who gives to us says: “You deserve it, you were the first person to give to others back at your house.” I never saw that in myself. I feel so lucky. There is a Jewish word called “Mitzvah”; my family has been saying: “It’s a Mitzvah to give.”
Clothing, shoes, household goods, the smallest things, the largest things—they are giving the gift of what they have, but they are giving themselves, too. Stuff is coming from all over the country. I had a Santa Claus collection and when my grandchildren were little, they would come over and love the Santas all over the house. Now, they are teenagers, here arrives a box of two Santas [to our rental house], from Emily and Kyle. It touched me that they remembered that. I love to bake and I bring cookies and baked goods to parties. The kids are trying to make me whole—that is what they are trying to do. I have received muffin tins, cookies and cake pans, cooling racks and even a Kitchen Aid. All the stuff I have been given, it’s almost like it never happened, except it’s different stuff in your new house. You are trying to recreate, but I don’t think you can go back with everything the same.
What is the biggest challenge ahead for you?
The biggest challenge is trying to get back to our old life. I went back to yoga and it felt like a great relief, getting my body moving again. I want to get back to book group but it’s too creepy to drive over Kanan right now in my new car, new traveling routes. Don hasn’t been able to get to his Airport Museum work in Camarillo where he restores the old airplanes, or his VOP work. There is just too much to do. His uniforms also burned. The city says it is going to pay for his new uniforms.
Any suggestions or advice for other displaced fire people?
You need to give people a chance to come to grips with this thing before you give them things, trying to replace what they had. I found that overwhelming at times. We are not the same people we were before and you have to have a chance to find out who you are now. It’s a new way of life and we are all going to be changed by it. I know what my kids have been trying to do is save the good parts.