Malibu psychologist and women’s advocate Cheryl Saban’s new book, “What Is Your Self-Worth?,” reminds women of their true value to society.
By Melonie Magruder / Special to The Malibu Times
In her new book, “What Is Your Self-Worth? A Woman’s Guide to Validation,” Malibu psychologist, philanthropist and women’s advocate Dr. Cheryl Saban asks a question that one would hope need no longer be asked in the 21st century.
But in a world where women make up 66 percent of the work force and a woman was recently in serious contention for the U.S. presidency, the statistics for “the gentler sex” are not so enlightening. According to the United Nations and other global think tanks, women own less than one percent of the world’s land; they earn only 10 percent of the world’s income; more than 75 percent of refugees are women and children; and of the 1.3 billion people the U.N. designates as “poor,” about 70 percent of them are women.
“We’ve come a long way here in America, but women still only make about 77 cents to a man’s dollar in the work place,” Saban, a Malibu resident, said in an interview with The Malibu Times. “If all women on the planet just stopped working, the world would collapse. So why the continued disparity in income?”
Saban believes the ongoing inequality in both how women are paid and how they are treated by society lies in deeply rooted cultural perceptions that form a woman’s sense of identity and self-worth- perceptions that don’t always tell the full story.
“The U.N. did a study that showed if women were paid even minimal salaries for their child care work, they’d still make about $130,000 a year,” Saban said. “Yet, women have been led to believe that their traditional roles are worthless. And we live up to those stereotypes. In Western countries, young girls allow themselves to be objectified and if their personal physical assessments don’t measure up, you’ve got a lot of self-loathing. Which leads to a devalued place in society.”
With her book, Saban aims to shake up that paradigm and remind women of their true value. She has solicited commentary from a wide range of powerful female contributors, including actress Jamie Lee Curtis, former Paramount Pictures CEO Sherry Lansing, U.S. Sen. Barbara Boxer, Malibu actress and women’s health activist Fran Drescher, and political commentator and publisher Arianna Huffington (Saban blogs regularly at The Huffington Post online). Former first lady of Egypt, Jehan Sadat, and Shimon Peres, president of Israel, wrote the book’s forewords.
Saban’s views on women’s power were formed from some hard life lessons. She was raped when she was 18, at a time when there was huge cultural shame for victims of sexual abuse in America. Married at 20, she had two children and was divorced by age 25.
“I was a single mother, working in a design firm and living paycheck to paycheck,” Saban said. “I could afford health insurance for my children, but not myself. When I sought medical care at a free clinic, it was hitting rock bottom for me. Humiliating. But I said to myself, ‘I can handle this,’ and I started to turn things around.”
She got another job, went to school and earned a doctorate in psychology. She ended up meeting her husband of 20 years, venture capitalist Haim Saban, with whom she is “still madly in love.” Her children, grandchildren, and many books on parenting and marriage reflect a happiness and generosity of spirit that she is determined to return through philanthropic activity and partnerships with like-minded business groups.
Along with personal multimillion-dollar donations to several women’s causes, including the Women’s Funding Network, Heifer Foundation and CARE, Saban is donating 100 percent of the profits of her book to her nonprofit Women’s Self-Worth Foundation.
She is also partnering with commercial enterprises that operate similarly, like Peacekeeper Cause-Metics and Dogeared Jewelry, run by Malibu entrepreneur Marcia Maizel-Clarke.
Dogeared manufactures jewelry packaged with life-affirming messages that speak directly to women, with portions of their sales going to nonprofit organizations that benefit women’s causes like the National Breast Cancer Foundation.
“Working with Cheryl has been fantastic,” Maizel-Clarke said. “We’re about putting good energy out and empowering people. It’s a perfect fit with what Cheryl’s doing and it’s a joy to work with such strong, committed women.”
Jody Weiss, founder of Peacekeeper Cause-Metics, donates profits and in-kind merchandise to women’s health and human rights advocacy. She said that the best way to protect women’s rights is by nurturing young boys in what is a typically patriarchal world.
“We are only what our children are,” Weiss said. “By teaching them about women’s value in society, we guarantee our future and enhance our self-worth. It starts from inside. It must be a celebration of ourselves.”
Saban penned a workbook, or personal journal, to accompany her book and hopes that readers use it as a tool for self-validation. The workbook has pages that asks questions like, “What are you afraid of?” and “What creative urges do you acknowledge?” Saban emphasizes that the catalyst for changing your life is taking responsibility for it.
“Women can no longer afford to just leave their finances to their husbands,” Saban said. “Women live longer than men. And with the economy nowadays, you see 70-year-old women going back into the workplace.
“The most important thing a woman can do to improve her self-worth is to honestly accept herself -lovingly and without judgment of her body size or her financial situation,” Saban continued. “You are worth the effort. And when you can realize that, you can reach out to others.”
“What Is Your Self-Worth? A Woman’s Guide to Validation” will be available in bookstores May 1. More information can be obtained online at www.whatisyourselfworth.com. More information on Dogeared Jewelry and Peacekeepers Cause-Metics can be obtained online at www.dogeared.com and www.iamapeacekeeper.com