Each week when I open The Malibu Times I get the feeling that I’m about to read the Adventures of the Bickersons. “Who stole my palm trees?” “Let them play football in the dark,” “Get off my parkland.” “Don’t block my view or I’ll sue you.” “The high school is not monitoring the drug problem properly.”
Last week I was heading down a rainy and dark Kanan Road about a mile from PCH when my car hit an obscure boulder, which caused the released of my airbag and debilitated my car. All the oil leaked out. I called the Sheriff’s station and they wouldn’t help me but wanted to know where the rock was. As I waited at PCH and Kanan for two hours for a tow truck, I never saw a Sheriff or Caltrans employee. Finally a tow truck arrived and the driver told me I was not alone, others had had a similar fate.
Where are the Sheriff’s [deputies] and Caltrans workers when we need them? They should be patrolling the canyons looking for rocks and boulders during the rain. Funny. There are plenty of Sheriff’s deputies around if you’re going over the speed limit.
After depositing my probably totaled car, I wanted answers. Ah ha! Starbucks, Cross Creek. I knew there would be deputies there. Sure enough, four cruisers. I went in and started talking to two officers, one who had a big moustache. The deputy with the moustache suggested if I wanted more help, I should pay more taxes. Two days later, I was paying more taxes, because the new California budget was passed. The other officer suggested that I rappel down Kanan at 10 mph or less. Their watch commander wasn’t amused when I talked to him later as their comments were neither helpful nor funny. He added that this was an act of nature.
I now probably qualify to be a member of the Bickerson Family. I don’t know if I should rejoice or cry.
Forrest Stewart