We are the Malibu City Council. At our council meetings we will be handling all of your dilemmas.
If you find yourself stuck in Malibu summer beach traffic, don’t despair. There are people in this world for which driving is an unheard of privilege.
Should you have a bad day, having just opened a letter containing your Malibu-Big Rock de-watering assessment levy, think of the wonderful time you will have arranging to pay the tariff. You have a magnificent vista from Big Rock nonetheless and we are not taxing for that.
Should you grieve the passing of another weekend without a site for your children to play soccer or baseball? Think of how your $15,000,000 general bond issue money is going to buy wildlife habitat–or was it open areas or is it a senior center, or was it a youth center, or is it motorcycle trails, or was it playgrounds or was it a community center, or is it social programs or was it educational programs? Whatever! It was something like that!
Anyway, we, the council, promise to buy something for everyone and not build on it, so you can enjoy the exquisiteness of Malibu. Besides, it’s Keller and Van Horn’s fault for exchanging away the Malibu Bluff’s Park.
Should your car break down on Point Dume, leaving you miles away from help, don’t call us, the Malibu City Council. Instead visit the Lily’s Caf 8 a.m. political summits, because at the get-together of the Malibu Steering Committee they can fix anything (now that’s the truth).
As the Lily’s Caf Malibu Steering Committee says, “The great oak tree groves were once a group of nuts that held their ground.”
And that is all I have to say (sure).
Tom Fakehany