Guest Column: Coping with the Unthinkable

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Susan Dueñas

Tragedy can strike anywhere at any time. And yet, we should not live our lives in fear. How do we balance that? That’s what we will be discussing during our next Public Safety Town Hall Meeting on Thursday, Sept. 28, at Malibu City Hall. Having experienced a terror attack myself, this is a subject that hits home for me.

In April 2013, as I pushed through the final miles of the Boston Marathon, the finish line turned out to be more than just my celebratory beacon of light and end to my suffering; it became a pivotal moment in my life.

I had been fighting the urge to walk for six miles, clinging to the knowledge that if I just kept shuffling, I could finish with a time to qualify to run again in 2014. I must have looked like an old woman as I jogged hunched over down Boylston Street to Copley Square, my whole body in pain from running 26 miles. Once the finish line was behind me and I was wrapped in my silver robe, I struggled to walk but I was exhilarated.

As I staggered with the crowd of finishers toward the family reunification area, a loud boom pierced the sound of chattering people and music playing. I glanced at a fellow runner and our eyes met for a moment of shared curiosity. I continued forward with the mass of sweaty bodies when another loud boom interrupted our sense of safety. At that moment, I knew something was terribly wrong, but I had no idea that my moment of celebration had been transformed into a horror that would change the lives of thousands of people, including myself.

Having worked as an emergency manager for over 25 years, I have been involved with many tragedies, but none of them impacted me the way the Boston Marathon bombing did. For many months after the incident, I would become tense and cry every time I heard a siren. But why? I wasn’t hurt, my family wasn’t hurt and I wasn’t close enough to the incident to see anything upsetting. Why was this so different from other experiences?

This is something that I have thought about extensively. What I have come to realize is that it was the first time that I felt completely vulnerable and had no control within the situation. I technically had the skills to be useful, but I was completely unable to. I could barely walk and I was completely dependent on others to help me get to safety. I could only watch as streams of ambulances and government cars with sirens blaring poured into the area as my family strategized on what to do next.

In my profession, training and experience give you a sense of control—not to prevent bad things from happening, but to be able to respond in a situation. Before Boston, during every tragic situation I had ever experienced, I had some sense of control—I didn’t feel vulnerable. Then it hit me: This is exactly what emergency preparedness is really all about.

It’s about reducing your vulnerability to the threats around you as much as possible and increasing your ability to control some aspects of the situation, even if it’s only your response. Not only does this improve your ability to survive a tragedy or disaster, but also it can improve your ability to cope afterward.

This philosophy is the driving force behind the Public Safety Town Hall Meetings that the city is holding. Our first meeting in July focused on fire season preparedness. On Sept. 28, our second Public Safety Town Hall will focus on mass violence incident response.

Every week, we hear about another tragic event somewhere in the world or about a community in America where someone has attacked innocent civilians with guns, knives or a vehicle. While it is virtually impossible to predict where or when the next attack will be, we can take steps to decrease our vulnerability and increase our sense of control as well as our resilience to recover through knowledge and training. I hope you will join us on Thursday, Sept. 28, at 7 p.m. at Malibu City Hall for this important discussion. 

For more information, call Susan Dueñas, City of Malibu’s public safety manager, at 310.45.2489 ext. 313 or email sduenas@malibucity.org.