Burt's Eye View: My ordering food

By Burt Ross · Wed Jul 22 2026

For reasons I don’t begin to comprehend, I have massive difficulty when it comes to ordering food. It seems like this pattern started way back when I was a teenager. My problem is that in the process of ordering, I often use a word that sounds a lot like what I want to order, but conveys a far different meaning. Trust me, you will see what I mean when I demonstrate with three examples.

When I was in my mid teens, my parents took me out to a fine restaurant. I thought I would start the meal with a soup and so ordered a bowl of Gestapo soup. There was silence at the table for a minute, and then my folks erupted into non-stop laughter. The waiter fortunately, did not laugh and said, “I will bring the gazpacho soup before the main course.” He knew what I was trying to say and understood immediately the difference between the German secret police and cold vegetable soup.

Things only got worse as I got older. One time I ordered filet mignon, what I thought was the finest type of steak, but out of my mouth came something which sounded a lot like Philly minyan, which best describes at least 10 Jews from Philadelphia praying together.

Another time, I was eating out and decided I was in the mood for some pasta or rice dish.  I looked over the choices carefully and finally ordered some rizzuto. The problem is that Phil Rizzuto was the New York Yankee Hall of Fame shortstop who made “Holy Cow” his trademark as an announcer. The only thing Phil Rizzuto and risotto have in common is that they are both of Italian origin.

Fortunately over time I have become more careful when ordering food, and if I am not comfortable in how to pronounce a certain item, I simply avoid ordering it altogether.