The spook in all of us

By The Malibu Times · Thu Nov 01 2001

Trick or treat, trick or treat

Give me something good to eat

Nothing that will make me sick

Or on you I'll play a trick.

Though I hide behind a mask

Give me everything I ask

Or I'll soap your SUV

Drape toilet paper on your tree.

Ghosts and goblins, witches, hags

Roam the streets with plastic bags

From their neighbors they solicit

Taffy, toffee, chips and chawklit.

Candied apples, caramel corn

Chips and nuts and all food porn

It's enough to rot their gums

Gag a maggot, pass the Tums.

Halloweenie, I'm a meanie

Won't let grandkids roam alone

Even in our rural hamlet

They must have a chaperone.

Who knows what demented kooks

May be lurking with the spooks

Though I hate to spread alarm

I will keep them all from harm.

They must wear bright colored costumes

Masks that don't obstruct their view

Reflective sneakers, neon stripers

And they carry flashlights, too.

In another time we raided

Neighborhoods where kids paraded

In their costumes made of sheets

Bringing home their cache of sweets.

Once we even went on horseback

Like the legends of Sleepy Hollow

Ichabod Crane, the Headless Horseman

Riding where grownups couldn't follow.

Parents now inspect the loot

Sifting, sorting, giving the boot

To all with wrappers slightly torn

While the kids look on forlorn.

Hospitals will even x-ray

Treats that might contain sharp things

How did we ever get so cautious

Why do we fear what freedom brings?

We can't blame this on Osama

Halloween's become a fright

Those who do not know their neighbors

Teach their kids to fear the night.