It seems evident that the City of Malibu Code Enforcement Officer has been credited with many unachievable Santa-like traits. “Santa” is given credit for deeds that are beyond the capabilities of mortal men. On Christmas Eve he supposedly visits every home in the city, dispensing a seemingly endless supply of gifts and consuming staggering amounts of cookies and milk. Moreover, he’s been sighted soaring through the skies above Pacific Coast Highway in an aerodynamically unsound sleigh, outfitted with flying reindeer. His toys are produced in a hidden sweatshop located in the environs of the North Pole and, if the prevailing stories are to be believed, are manufactured by diminutive men with genetically mutated ears. Finally, Santa is whispered to have masterminded the city’s largest espionage network, maintaining a database of not only the names and addresses of every man, woman and child in Malibu, but further dividing the city’s population into those who have been “bad” and “good” during the prior twelve months. The criteria involved in distinguishing the “bad” from the “good” are known only to Santa and all decisions are final.
And that is all I have to say (sure)
Tom Fakehany