Malibu residents Paul and Hellen Rollens, whose lives were affected by deaths in their family, will participate in the Out of the Darkness Walk in San Francisco this weekend in an effort to raise awareness and funds for research on the social crisis of suicide.
By Melonie Magruder / Special to The Malibu Times
Between today and the next July fourth holiday, nearly one million Americans will try to commit suicide. Every 18 minutes in the U.S., someone dies at his own hands. And suicide is the third leading cause of death among teens and young adults in this country. With numbers like these indicating a major national health problem, the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention is trying to shed light on this pervasive social crisis. At sundown on Saturday, the AFSP is hosting an Out of the Darkness Overnight Walk in San Francisco, designed to raise funds for its suicide prevention research and educational programs. Participants will follow a 20-mile course that ends with the sunrise. The goal is to best the more than $1.35 million raised at last year’s march.
“Most of the participants will be people whose lives have been directly touched by suicide,” said Wylie Tene, public relations manager for AFSP. “The sad thing is that this will be the first chance for many people left behind by suicide to express anything about the tragedy that has struck their lives. Many people feel guilt or shame that someone they loved committed suicide.”
Tene explained that the stigma of suicide is so profound that some people hide the circumstances of a suicidal death from friends. The goal of AFSP is to raise awareness of the toll suicide takes on us as a society.
“They are literally living in darkness,” Tene said, “so our symbolic title, ‘Out of the Darkness,’ encourages survivors to speak up and acknowledge their tragedy. Out of their pain will come healing.”
Funds raised in the Out of the Darkness Walk will go to education programs, production of videos to disseminate on college campuses, support networks for survivors of suicide loss and research aimed at improving knowledge of biological, genetic and psychosocial factors that contribute to suicide, as well as suicide prevention, intervention and treatment centers. Untreated depression is the leading cause of suicide in this country.
Malibu residents Paul and Hellen Rollens will be participating in the fundraising march.
About five years ago, Paul Rollens’ mother was murdered by her husband, who then took his own life. Paul and his siblings had only recently re-established contact with a younger brother who had left the family, and the news of their mother’s death left this youngest son reeling.
“He was in denial about it all,” Paul said, “and he just fell deeper and deeper into depression.”
Two years later, Paul’s younger brother and his girlfriend committed suicide together.
This kind of compounded tragedy can destroy any sense of normalcy in life. But the Rollens siblings’ response has been to support, pro-actively, the efforts of survivors’ networks like AFSP. When he marched in the Out of the Darkness Walk in Chicago last year, Paul said the feeling amongst participants was “open and warm. Not sad at all.” Most of the other marchers he met there had also been touched by suicide.
“But it’s the people you wouldn’t suspect who commit suicide, and those of us left behind can be judged by it,” he said. “So it was a relief to talk to others who had gone through what I had. It’s not something you can normally bring out in casual conversation.”
The Rollenses have seen an outpouring of financial support and donations for their efforts.
“We e-mailed all our friends and co-workers Paul’s story and their response has been tremendous” Hellen said. “Everyone has been so generous and open. Even if their own lives had not been personally touched by suicide, they gave from their hearts.”
Robert Gebbia is the executive director of AFSP and notes that some of the organization’s board members have been galvanized to serve by experiencing suicide in their own lives.
“The Overnight is a unique event that brings together family members and friends that have been touched by suicide or depression and gives participants a powerful way to heal, raise awareness of the problem of suicide and help others by raising funds needed for suicide prevention.”
Being touched by suicide can be “a blessing and a curse because you can respond in such different ways,” Paul Rollens said. “You learn to live life more truthfully. You are not afraid to talk if you see that someone you love is depressed. Let them know that they are not alone.”
Rollens reflected on how his personal tragedy has shaped how he lives today: “Well, you prioritize things. My brother and sister and I have bonded in an amazing way. You learn that you can accept suffering and turn it into a powerful happiness.”
Bottom line?
“Live life every day as if you could die tomorrow.”
The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention is the only national not-for-profit organization exclusively dedicated to understanding and preventing suicide through research and education, and to reaching out to people with mood disorders and those affected by suicide.
More information on the Out of the Darkness Walk in San Francisco this week can be obtained at the Web site, www.theovernight.org