Each year around this time I write a column either listing New Year’s resolutions I have no intention of honoring, or making predictions for the upcoming year most of which never come true. Predictions it is!
I don’t think I am going far out on a limb to predict that 2021 will be an infinitely better year than 2000. If it isn’t, please give me the cyanide pill and let me out of here.
1. I predict all sane people in Malibu, which represents at least some of us, will get vaccinated for Covid-19.
2.I predict we will relearn how to eat in a restaurant, not outside of it. It won’t take us long to figure out how to read a menu, order food, leave a tip, etc. The relearning experience will be quite enjoyable.
3. I predict we will return to the movies although not in the numbers we used to. Many of us have become Netflix junkies, but there will still be a desire to get out of the house and eat a barrel of popcorn.
4.I predict our birth rate will decline dramatically. Social distancing apparently makes having babies problematic.
5. I predict that unlike bears, when we come out of hibernation, we will not have lost much of our body weight. On the contrary, we will need the gym more than ever.
6. I predict we will no longer be bombarded by early morning tweets. Only the birds will tweet going forward.
7. I predict the new Administration will be extraordinarily boring, and boredom will be considered a new virtue.
8. I predict many of us will continue to wear masks in public out of habit, and consequently there will be a noticeable decline in most communicable diseases, STD excluded.
9. I predict that when the vaccines are widely disseminated, more visitors will come to Malibu than ever before. The merchants will be happy.
10. And finally, I predict that many of us will move into our rebuilt homes ending a long emotional ordeal. It will be a bitter sweet moment, but before long we will build new memories, and the new houses will become our homes.
Happy and Healthy New Year