Blog: Ghost in the Literary Machine

The great thing about self-publishing is that everyone can write their life story and turn it into a book. The terrible thing about self-publishing is that every Tom, Dick and Harriet can write their life story and turn it into a book. 

If I had a dollar for every person I’ve met who tells me their life story should be a book, I’d have $278 by now. The difficulty is explaining to civilians (i.e., non-celebrities) that the chances of their getting an advance from a major publisher are slim to none. Some people, however, just want to tell their life story for family and friends, so they will know how he or she lived, and how their experiences made them the person they became. The book can serve as an historical document.

The thing is, most people can’t write for toffee. They might be able to conjugate a verb, but can they tell their tale or share their brilliant idea so people will flock into bookstores — the few that are left — for a hard copy (so last millennium) or buy a downloadable version of their book? Can they make a story so compelling that you can’t stop reading? That’s where ghostwriters come in.

I am a ghostwriter. Sometimes ghostwriters are credited on the cover, sometimes not, if the subject wants to pretend they wrote it themselves without any help. We don’t care either way, so long as we are paid for our time. 

My job is to ask the subject of the book pertinent and relevant questions in a relaxed, conversational manner that will jog his or her memory, which should then help furnish those extra details that give depth and authenticity. Then, I shape the text so it flows, retaining the person’s voice and conveying exactly what they want to say in a way that can keep a reader’s attention.

People don’t realize how much work goes into editing out the boring and mundane stuff, and making sense of what’s been said. In conversation, you can also read body language, facial expressions and hear intonation to get their drift. But what to the ear sounds scintillating and riveting can sometimes be almost nonsense when seen written down.

While I believe a good writer can turn any story into a cracking good read with universal appeal, it’s rare to meet that person who really has lived a truly extraordinary life. I was on the receiving end of a facial from beautician Martha Weinstein (now retired) when it last happened to me.

I sat up during the facial when Martha mentioned she was 89 years old. I peered at her wrinkle-free face. She certainly didn’t look it. Then she told me she had been in the health and beauty business for almost 70 years, was known as the Argentine Oprah in her home country following the success of her TV show that ran there for 20 years, and had met Adolf Hitler, Benito Mussolini and Juan Peron as a child. I told her she really should write a book.

 “I started one a few years ago,” Martha said. “And I’ve been looking for someone to help me finish it.”

I sat up for the second time, turned to her, and said, “Martha, this is your lucky day.”

But it was actually my lucky day, as we began collaborating on “The Stay Young Revolution: How To Transform Fear of Aging Into Confidence of Youth.” Martha wanted her book to be solely about holding back the years without resorting to invasive fillers or cosmetic surgery, but there are thousands of health and beauty tomes out there fighting for attention. 

I convinced Martha it should also be part-memoir, as she has lived an amazing life that will inspire and motivate people. I doubt there’s another one written by someone aged 89 who speaks six languages, was still working part-time as a beautician and had encountered a trifecta of fascist dictators.

The working experience with Martha was hugely enjoyable. She had excellent recall and had already written some passages that just needed editing and incorporating. Not all subjects are so nice and amenable. 

It can be impossibly hard for people to open up old wounds and relive sometimes harrowing experiences. Some start but can’t finish their books, as they didn’t realize what a commitment it is and how much time and discipline is required, although I always explain that at the beginning of the process.

But what an accomplishment it is to hold a copy of your book in your hands or see it on an electronic device. Then you just have to get people to buy and read it. That’s when the hard work really starts. 

Claire Fordham is a British writer with extensive experience as a freelance journalist. She has worked for the BBC, ITN and SKY News and wrote a weekly column for Britain’s biggest-selling newspaper, The Sun. She writes regularly for Huffington Post and The Malibu Times.

Her latest book, “Life Lessons for Mia Rose: An Irreverent Guide to Living and Loving Well” was inspired by the birth of Claire’s granddaughter.