1 am writing this to the community of Malibu. I am aching with pain in my heart. When I received the note from Malibu High’s principal about the loss of one of “our “girls here in Malibu, I was in shock, as I am sure many of us were. My son, Nico, was this young person’s very dear friend. My daughter, Natasha, was distraught and beside herself. Both of my children kept saying, “If we only had done something for her, if we only had listened more, if we only had helped.”
Just about four weeks ago we lost another one of our girls here in Malibu. I cannot stop but ask, “What is happening, what is missing?” For young people to succumb to this kind of choice is so sad. What goes on in a mind of a teenager that obviously sees no way out but death. It seems to me as a cry for help and outcry for caring, a message of “please come and help me. I am lost.” Where are we as a community to stand there in these moments? Are we ready and prepared to help? I feel we are not. Our children need a forum to express their feelings, to have a time and place where they can go and let go and just get in touch with what is going on inside and then get tools from experts to help them through some very rocky times.
Do we have such a place? What tools have we, as parents, given them to deal with the pressures of today? When my son was in fifth grade I brought, together with Peter Bauman, a program to Cabrillo called “ACE”. It is run and managed by the Educare Foundation in Westlake and just phenomenal. The program helped with issue resolution. After a few days of this program, even the bullies in the group were able to “share” their feelings. The individual student was able to listen and be empathetic. We need to do something about this. It might take a village to accomplish this task. This is why we need to act as a community and create a forum. I intend to make a difference in our community in regards to our teenagers and their growing pains. The shape, the form is not clear to me yet. However, if anyone has a great idea, call me at 310.589.5682 or email me luxine@aol.com
Barbara Bassill