Ban Sex


The conservative states commonly referred to as the “red states” are vying with one another to see which state legislature can be more anti abortion than the next. 

Some conservative states used to feel relatively comfortable making abortions illegal after the fetus becomes viable around 24 weeks, but that was then, and now is now. That thinking is now passé. Mississippi recently outlawed an abortion after 15 weeks, but Texas, never to be outdone, made abortion illegal after only six weeks. And Texas has even gone so far as to deputize everybody in the state as a bounty hunter, paying any individual $10,000 if they can rat on their fellow citizens who might be violating the law.

Just when you think things can’t get more stringent, I predict that other states will not allow Texas to be the standard bearer in this crusade. Just let your imagination run wild. Can’t you see the Alabama state legislature banning sex altogether? I can just hear the eloquence of Alabama’s governor when she says, “We can’t allow sex to happen because it will invariably lead to abortions. And by the way, sex was never that great anyway.”

Arkansas then might follow suit by defunding all coeducational institutions: “We cannot allow intermingling of the sexes which can only lead to more abortions.”

The governor of Tennessee might argue, “Perhaps the burqa isn’t so bad after all. Maybe the Taliban knows something we don’t.”

And finally, the governor of Georgia might chime in, “We need to return to the glory days of our ancestors, those who came here first. Our Puritan forefathers should provide us with our guiding light.”