Kudos to the City Council in the deButts debacle, for reaffirming that Malibu has a history worthy of preservation. Now I don’t mean to butt in, but I wish that they would more consistently demonstrate a similar ethic with regard to our natural environment, and to limiting chain stores and upscale “snobmodity” boutiques in favor of local-serving businesses (e.g., a lumber yard).
One council dissenter framed the deButts issue as being one of “quality of life.” That made me realize that lately I haven’t noticed any of those old license-plate holders that say, “Malibu: a way of life.” I wonder if that means that the lifestyle here is no longer notably different from that of other wealthy bedroom communities; that the quality of life we once held as unique has been whittled away, one Starbucks or mega-mansion at a time. Or maybe it just means that nowadays the cars are moving too fast for me to read their plate-holders.
But I also feel sorry, in a weird way, for those deButts residents. I suppose that those who didn’t happen to notice the name of their street when they bought their homes must have missed school on the day that the concept of “homonym” was taught. Perhaps someone could teach that to their kids, so they’d have something to say in their own defense. But then maybe “homo” is taboo too. But I really don’t get why the word “butt” shouldn’t be in a preschoolers’ vocabulary. I’m pretty sure everyone has one.
Sure, “Paradise Way” might look nicer on a business card. And I suppose that at the dinner table, instead of saying, “please pass the butter,” they insist on the more elegant “please pass the paradise cream.” But if the City were to endorse such a butt-less sense of etiquette, they’d next have to enact an ordinance requiring drugstores to sell not aspirin but “mouthpirin,” in case someone became confused as to the proper orifice in which to insert the product. And shitake mushrooms might have to be outlawed altogether.
For those who would take offense at being the butt of such asinine jokes, I would suggest that you think more deeply about what “a way of life” might mean. Relax a little. Smell the sage and enjoy the butterflies.
Okay, I’ve said my piece. Now I’ll button my lip. I look forward to any rebuttals.
Kraig Hill