By the time you read this, we will be halfway through National Turn Off the TV Week, an annual event designed to pry children away from the tube and send them outdoors where they might run around and burn up extra calories from all those pizzas and fries.
Local schools get into the act assigning students to keep a log of what they actually did while not glued to the couch watching “SpongeBob Square Pants.” Somehow National Library Week and Librarians Day neatly coincide with the tube turnoff.
Does this mean kids will actually read for three hours every night?
Probably not. But if they take the time to check out a few good books, who knows, they might at least get hooked on Harry Potter.
I can successfully keep the TV dark for a whole week only with National Public Radio, lest I suffer terminal news withdrawal. The problem is the only radios I have that are working this week are the one in my car and my emergency AM FM short wave portable, which requires two minutes of vigorous hand cranking to activate the dynamo generator thingy long enough to hear “All Things Considered.” Since I’m currently painting my new little Montana second home, this is damned awkward. Signal begins to fade. Wrap paintbrush in Saran. Wipe Dunne Edwards Swiss Coffee off hands before cranking radio. Forget keeping a wet edge on the wall. Lap lines. Aargh! I should have bought a boom box like all the construction guys have.
Meanwhile, I’ve been listening to (instead of watching) TV. I don’t suppose this counts for TV Turnoff, but who needs to actually watch talking heads. All those poorly matched rugs and bad comb-overs. I did just peek once because I had to see our President’s goofy facial contortions while not answering press questions as to why he and Veep Cheney have to go hand-in-hand before the committee on pre-9/11 intelligence failures. Of course, we won’t get to see this duet since it’s all private (and not under oath). Will they sit side-by-side, close enough for a nudge or a shin kick under the table? Or will they face each other to exchange prearranged eye signals? What will we miss? A bead of sweat on Cheney’s brow? Bush’s quizzical I-don’t-know-what-the-heck-to-say-about-that look? How does he manage to smile with the corners of his mouth pointing down?
Anyway, with the TV turned off, we’ll never know. I’m just glad Mike Wallace’s interview with Bob Woodward was on “60 Minutes” last Sunday. I could look at his serious and absolutely credible talking head all day. Of course, we could all get his new book in honor of National Library Week.
Now this TV Turnoff thing is not just because all TV programming is lousy. It isn’t. But then again it depends where you live. In Southern California, continual gripes about cable fees and service notwithstanding, it is possible to see a wide variety of programs and hear diverse opinions. This is not the case in many rural areas and parts of the country where TV and radio stations and newspapers may all be owned by one media conglomerate. I knew the proposed FCC ruling to favor the increase of media ownership in a given market was a bad idea, but until spending time in Montana I didn’t really get it. A cable company, absent competition, can do as much to shape public opinion as to reflect it.
In Big Sky, top of the dial goes to cable channels ESPN and FOX (see a pattern here?) while networks CBS, ABC and NBC are 7, 8 and 9 respectively. It took me weeks to find “Jeopardy” and “West Wing.” And PBS was absent altogether for two weeks because the transmitter was being relocated. Two Friday nights without “Washington Week” and “Now” with Bill Moyers. Do you suppose that would count against TV Turnoff Week? And how can I miss “West Wing” with a promo like: On the eve of a trade summit, Josh learns the President will reverse his position on outsourcing American jobs. Ripped from the headlines, as they say?
Well, breaking TV dependence is mostly for kids, right? No teacher is making me keep a log. And I don’t need to burn up more calories (pizza and fries are only distant memories) what with all this painting and stuff. Besides, I’ve got four new books and promise to visit the Bozeman Public Library on National Librarians Day.