Toking a chance on law

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I hate to say it, but it seems former Attorney General John Ashcroft may have had the last word on medical marijuana, and states’ rights, for that matter. Although a lower court decided California’s law legalizing physician-prescribed pot trumped federal law, the U.S. Supreme Court has ruled state law doesn’t protect users from the federal ban.

What were they thinking? Or smoking?

Prosecutors argued for the drug’s ban in interstate commerce. Hard to see that the two cases brought before the court involved any kind of commerce at all. Nothing was bought or sold or carried across state lines. The pot in question was home grown by a woman with an inoperable brain tumor. If the federal government can invade this poor woman’s garden, take machetes to her six pot plants and cart her off to jail, then they can do pretty much anything they want to all of us. So much for the land of the free.

There are several blind spots in the “war on drugs.” First of all, this war, like some other conflicts, is pretty much unwinable. Particularly if it’s being fought in the backyards of sick people. The feds aren’t doing this to protect people from dangerous drugs. If they were, they’d break down our doors and confiscate our Celebrex. They’d stage midnight raids on suburban homes harboring statins, Prozac, prescription drugs that have actually killed people. Drugs that do, in fact, involve interstate commerce!

Some have been proven more dangerous than the conditions for which they’re prescribed. But we all know they will remain in drug stores. Why? Because they’re not recreational. They’re not smoked at parties. They’re not derived from “the evil weed.” It’s not a health issue; it’s the morality thing run amok.

The administration blessed the Supreme Court’s ruling, saying state medical marijuana laws undermine the war on drugs. And once again, in direct opposition to scientific findings, our leaders maintained that “marijuana has no proven medical benefit.” According to whom?

Dr. Andrew Weil, the founding guru of integrated medicine, calls marijuana “a nontoxic herb with no known fatal dose.” Weil says he has long recommended marijuana for muscle spasms caused by multiple sclerosis, for chemotherapy-related nausea, and as an appetite stimulant for people with wasting syndrome from AIDS or cancer.

Well, it seems there is an upside to the “munchies.”

Research over the last several decades has found no convincing evidence that pot leads to harder drug use, is physically addictive or causes violent crime. It has been observed to cause jazz musicians to play strange riffs and ordinarily serious folks to giggle uncontrollably. Of course, smoking it can cause some of the same health problems as tobacco.

The only legal alternative may be oral Marinol, a synthetic version of the cannabinoid THC, available by prescription for almost 20 years. Most patients, however, say smoking works faster and is easier to adjust the dosage. Canada has recently approved Sativex, a prescription oral spray of a whole marijuana extract, for muscle spasms in MS patients, but it’s anyone’s guess if it will ever be legalized by our morally vigilant government.

Weil and other experts say marijuana is far less problematic than alcohol and nicotine. However, we don’t see the feds snatching our martinis, or Marlboros. That’s because they still associate pot smoking with the rebellious counterculture of the 1960s liberal hippies and dangerous unpatriotic dissidents who threaten the moral fiber of this country. Like the draft dodgers of the Vietnam war, terminally ill patients will be fleeing with their bongs to Canada where medicinal marijuana is legal.

The only recourse now for those living in the 11 states that have passed laws allowing medical use of marijuana, and several other states where initiatives are pending, is to lobby the Congress to pass an exemption to the federal ban. Our legislators have been coming up with some goofy bills lately, but it’s possible enough of them have relatives and friends suffering from cancer, glaucoma, Parkinson’s, MS or AIDS who could benefit from toking up.

In the interests of full disclosure, I admit I’ve never tried smoking pot, not because I fear moral degradation but because I loathed the fetid stench of the smoke I inadvertently inhaled at a few parties. That’s a new one: I inhaled but I didn’t smoke.

If I ever needed such a prescription, I’d have to move to Canada or find a recipe for cannabis brownies. Bon Appetit!