For the super wealthy, there are plenty of offerings that would please one’s taste for adventure and ostentatiousness. But what if you get a submarine for Christmas?
By David Wallace/Special to The Malibu Times
It’s not exactly news that capitalizing on the holiday season is everywhere right now, from Liliana’s tiny restaurant in East Los Angeles busily making hundreds of the traditional Christmas tamales to the glittering boutiques of Beverly Hills’ Rodeo Drive peddling everything from million dollar diamonds to $1,000-bottles of perfume.
For years, Dallas’ Nieman Marcus famously touted the most ostentatious seasonal offerings. Today, that mantle of the “ultimate” gift source has been assumed by the Robb Report, a magazine that is devoted solely to informing readers about such over-the-top goodies as $15,000 sports coats, $40,000 sound systems, and six-figure vacations. The publication claims 105,842 readers whose average annual household income is pegged at $1,056,000. Appropriately-at least for those to whom the very name of Malibu is synonymous with unbounded wealth and glamour-the magazine’s corporate publishing offices are right here on Heathercliff Road.
Highlighting the final issue of 2002, the Robb Report continues an annual tradition of listing “The World’s Most Exclusive Holiday Wishes.” This year the list takes the form of 21 “ultimate gifts.” They include a necklace featuring a 73.61 carat pink diamond ($10 million); a global golf tour for four via private jet ($321,600); the new, Volkswagen-built Maybach sedan ($350,000); and a 21,000 square-foot townhouse in London ($21 million).
But, as most media quickly noted, the most expensive (or outrageous) choice offered this year is the Phoenix 1000; it looks something like a super -yacht but is, in fact, a private submarine.
First, the somewhat daunting statistics: The Phoenix 1000 is 213 feet long, displaces 1,500 tons, can host up to 40 guests including a crew of three for day trips, or 16 for overnight. It contains 5,000 feet of interior space spread over four levels, has a range of 4,200 miles on the surface (where it cruises at 16 knots) or 230 miles submerged. It can dive to 1,000 feet, and comes with a minisub that can take eight people to 2,000 feet (or, if there is an accident, presumably get them back to the surface). It’s powered by twin 1100 KW diesels, which consume about 120 gallons of fuel an hour at 16 knots (half of that at 12 knots), so it would take some 80 tons of fuel to cross the Atlantic.
Manufactured by U.S. Submarines in Fort Lauderdale, it is available from Divers Direct in Florida (954.429.0116). Delivery takes three years.
Oh yes. The price?
$80,000,000.
But, think positively. Since there is a large storage area accessed via a hydraulic hatch, you can economize by taking along your own car. And, as J. P. Morgan famously claimed a century ago, “Anyone who has to ask about the annual upkeep of a yacht can’t afford one.”
But, if you live in Malibu, the question is, where do you park it? It’s not like buying that VW Maybach, which you could just stick in the garage, or even the $70 million Boeing business jet also offered in the Robb Report. Planes need airports, but there are plenty of those.
In the early part of the 20th century, the Rindge family, who once owned all of Malibu, simply tied their yacht up to the pier. That was OK since they built the pier to ship the hides from the cattle grazed on their gigantic Malibu Rancho. Now, even the charter fishing boats that used to load up at the pier are gone.
Size is the problem. Marina del Rey has nothing available for a boat-or should I say a ship-this large, nor do the Channel Islands or Port Hueneme docks. The Port of Los Angeles has no room for anything this small. Neither does the Port of Long Beach, which offered to rent a mile-long commercial wharf, when next available, for $42 million a year.
The only solution-at least until you could build your own deep water port-would be to use an offshore mooring ball just as the late Aristotle Onassis did when he used to visit Cannes on his gigantic yacht, the Christina. Then you can commute back and forth via a water taxi (or buy your own skiff).
But think of the advantages of owning a sub like this. Bad weather?
Close the hatches, dive and lounge around sipping Dom P while watching all the pretty fishies through the huge, 7-foot, 8-inch thick acrylic viewports in the Phoenix’s main lounge. Of course, given such surroundings, snacking on sushi or raw oysters, or even lobster, would probably be considered inappropriate. So, too, would anything with a strong aroma like barbeque. You’ve got to remember the air system is sealed underwater. Better stick to turkey sandwiches. And just think about your bragging rights. Since no one-yet-has stepped up to buy a Phoenix 1000 (although the company has sold smaller versions), you clearly would have the only one on your block-or on the ocean for that matter.
According to the company’s Web site (www.ussubs.com), interested buyers of its submarines share one trait: they are all wealthy. No surprise. Many, they claim, are also “world leaders, hi-tech mega-millionaires, and ‘Arab’ sheiks.” In fact, Bruce Jones, president of U.S Submarines, is presently in Dubai, capital of the United Arab Emirates, closing a deal to set up a complete manufacturing facility in the country.
But that still won’t solve the parking problem in Malibu. Robb Report publisher Bill Curtis does have one suggestion, though.
“Based on the promise of this year’s El Nino, you’ll probably be able to park it about anywhere,” he laughs. “Maybe in front of Taverna Tony’s.”