While driving down our beloved PCH last week, I saw a bumper sticker that read, “Bikers have rights, too.” Having spent much of my summer dodging and coddling bikers (I am talking about bicyclists, not motorcyclists), I have come to the conclusion that bikers assume they have more rights than drivers of mere automobiles. To help Malibu drivers cope with the situation, I have written down my interpretation of what bikers think their rights are.
€ Since there is no “bike lane” on PCH, the right hand lane can be considered a bike lane.
€ It is perfectly OK to enter the right lane without signaling or giving any other warning; therefore, do not feel it is necessary to even look before barging unexpectedly in front of a car.
€ Always assume that the driver behind you is going to exhibit perfect judgement, has wonderful eyesight and just got the brakes checked.
€ Remember, the driver is totally responsible for anything that happens and must drive terrified of you at all times, so you can take advantage of this.
€ Stop signs, signals, all other traffic signs do not apply to bikers. Everyone knows this so drivers should not be expecting bikers to follow any rules or be predictable in any way.
€ It is perfectly OK to pull into the right lane in front of a line of cars and go as slowly as you wish for as long as you wish.
€ If you’re in a big group of bikers, you can totally take over the highway, which is really fun, especially on a crowded weekend.
I hope this list is helpful. Keep bracing yourself, Malibu, because the invasion is on.