In a March 3 program of “To the Point” on local station KCRW, Warren Olney discussed the relatively new issue known as “Free-Range Parenting.” He asked if that view is the same as child endangerment, citing recent cases where parents have come into conflict with the law.
In the Washington, D.C. suburb of Silver Spring, Md., parents allowed their six- and 10-year-old children to walk to a local park unattended. Police were notified by a neighbor and brought the children home, following up with an investigation. Ultimately, the parents’ names were put in a file for five years as negligent parents.
They said they never set out to be part of a movement. “We just think they need the freedom that we had at that age,” the mother said. Police said they didn’t need a search warrant to enter the home and determine if the kids were neglected. The parents have filed an appeal with Child Protective Services (CPS), saying it’s not a crime to let children go to the park or walk home from the school bus stop alone. But police say that putting children at risk of harm is against the law. So who decides what is safe?
Another single mom was cited for letting her three boys play in a park next door to their home. A lawyer familiar with such cases says CPS agents are not able to make decisions about vulnerability — how reasonable or likely it is that something might happen.
Reactions have been mostly positive, such as parents need discretion to agree at what age they’re comfortable with leaving their kids alone. Instead of concerning themselves with these cases, CPS agents should focus on suspected neglect and abuse.
Some parents have a realistic concern about special needs children or couples going through a messy divorce, particularly where one parent lives in another country. Overly concerned parents want to put a GPS chip under the skin, which isn’t available yet. One company says it has a GPS device that parents can put in backpacks.
Cases of kidnapping by unknown persons, rather than estranged parents, are statistically minimal. But CPS investigations are very costly and testifying in court takes time and resources away from cases where children may actually be abused or neglected. If a minimum standard of parenting is obviously being met, they don’t need to investigate at the same level.
Growing up in a very safe neighborhood where police patrolled the streets every 20 minutes, I was allowed freedom to ride the streetcar to the beach or to movies by age 10. I had been warned about kidnappings but never encountered such a threat.
So when my own children were growing up on a ranch, they were allowed the same sort of freedom. They had a dog that accompanied them everywhere but were in more danger from snakes than weird people. There was a public pool at the local school and they often walked the mile to swim.
When the twins were nine years old, we moved to a gated community in the San Fernando Valley where they were allowed to ride their horses or walk to a friend’s home alone. I felt they were smart and quite self-sufficient. It’s my understanding that’s what parents are supposed to do; raise kids that recognize threats without being fearful. Of course, it pays to have a plan in case of emergencies, such as earthquakes or wildfires, but that helps children feel safer. And just having a phone number may suffice.
Technology has made all of that easier. Most kids now have cell phones, even smart ones, which facilitate getting help if needed. GPS, not so much. Once they start driving, however, GPS might not be a bad idea, even if only to check on teen driving habits.
It’s possible that overlapping jurisdictions and local laws may need to be tweaked to provide protection without stifling children’s curiosity or making them afraid. At a time of single moms and families with two working parents, children are sometimes going to be left on their own. Parents shouldn’t be made to feel guilty or have to pay attorneys to defend them.
There’s a lot of luck in raising kids to become solid, responsible adults. Was I a perfect parent? Of course not. I made plenty of mistakes, but my kids were given room to explore, build creativity, and develop strength and self-reliance. And they did.
Let’s hope well-meaning adults don’t stifle this type of growth.