I got a kick out of the guest column written by Burt Ross from the Feb. 25 edition, “Finding a mate,” and finding part two on March 10 put such a smile on my face that I felt I must speak to him personally.
So, Burt, here it is:
Your first East Coast friend asked that you find her a filthy rich husband, no older than 70, who doesn’t need a cane and has ED — her reason being that she was in her 60s and didn’t look the way she did when she was 20 in her nakedness. You told her not to hold her breath and opted out of the matchmaking business.
In “Finding a mate: Part II,” you opted back in, trying to fill a request of a lovely and local divorcée who was seeking a thoroughly athletic specimen. Her prior experiences had led to the almost-decimation of the male species she’d dated due to her own athletic capabilities, which were clearly above those of her male counterparts.
You finished off that column stating that, if you knew some guy you really didn’t like, you might match the two up and suggest she take him sky diving. I perceived you envisioned her finishing him off as well, and my perception included the belief that you might be back in the matchmaking business.
That brings me to writing this letter.
In comparison to your two previous seekers, I am free and local, look just as good naked as I did in my 20s due to walking up a mountain five days per week — which I prefer doing solo and don’t need a full time mate (once in a lifetime was enough for me), but wouldn’t mind an attractive, somewhat physically fit friend to dine and opine with every so often.
If I’ve incited some curiosity, you can find me in the pages of the Malibu Chronicle Magazine (if I looked as good as I did in my picture, I’d be in the movies), and perhaps I can lure you back into business.
Hermine Hilton
The Lady on the Mountain