The new fire season is now upon us and the county has previously spent time and money trying to help us all learn how to better manage this new upcoming fire season. They’ve held meetings and seminars after the Woolsey Fire to teach us how to manage fire in today’s more dangerous climate. Suddenly, seemingly out of the blue, the LA County Board of Supervisors (BOS) is considering next Tuesday, Sept. 24, whether changing their rules for the Santa Monica Mountains so camping will be allowed in Environmentally Sensitive Habitat Areas (ESHAs), which are typically undisturbed sections of the mountains filled with flammable plants and other things that love to burn. This proposed change in the rules isn’t merely stupid, it’s actually insane. I don’t yet know the politics behind this, although some have a strong suspicion that Joe Edmiston of the Santa Monica Mountains Conservancy has had a Machiavellian hand in this proposed change. Now, Joe Edmiston has no vote on the county BOS and this won’t happen unless our own supervisor Sheila Kuehl goes along with the change—and why she would even consider it has us all deeply puzzled. Many people will be going to the BOS meeting downtown, and I would encourage you all to do the same. Voices count. Bodies count. We have to show them we care.
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In other local news, the City of Malibu has redefined the concept of exclusivity. I know there are private clubs that are exclusive, and country clubs that are exclusive and even buildings that are exclusive but the City of Malibu has topped them all. At the council meeting last week, it decreed a number of citizens who were clamoring to get into our recently built Civic Center sewer system, technically called the Civic Center Water Treatment Facility, were going to be excluded, and you cannot get more exclusive than that. I assume they are going to be officially notified so I tried to imagine their rejection letter as follows:
Dear Citizen,
We regret to inform you that your application to be included in the Civic Center sewer must regrettably be denied. I sure you’re aware there were many well-qualified applicants for inclusion in our sewer and we on the sewer credentials committee [I assume there was some committee] had to make some very difficult decisions on this rather delicate issue as to which were best qualified to be in the system. Although you didn’t make it this time, perhaps as future opportunities open you may very well be selected. I would encourage you to reapply and perhaps try upping your game to be better eligible in the future.
I also want to take this opportunity to absolutely deny the scurrilous rumors going about that some of the successful applicants may have given some inducements to the credentials committee to encourage their admittance to this select sewer group. We deny it categorically and if any such overture were to be made we would report it immediately to the proper authorities.
We remain yours in protection of our vital body effluents,
The City of Malibu
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In other local news last week, there was a crowd of kids all lined up across from Starbucks on Cross Creek Road in a line that snaked down the block on the street side of Maxfields, patiently waiting to buy something. So, I walked over ,asked what the fuss was about and they told me. Maxfields was going to start selling, that very morning, a very limited supply of a hot new Nike-brand Japanese waffle sneakers (nonedible, as far as I know) called the Sacai and it was what I can only describe as a “got to have” addition to your fashion wardrobe. Some of those kids were fashionistas and just wanted the latest and hottest item. But there was another group of 20 or so kids at the front of the line who were fashionista-entrepreneurs who call themselves the LA Collective. They make the rounds of all these special events buying the hot items. Some had been there waiting for two whole days. It turns out you can buy those sneakers for $160 at Maxfields and then turn around and flip them immediately for $500, $600, $700 and even $800. Of course, these kids are all over social media creating buzz, which is just what Nike and the retailers want. It’s just not your grandma’s sneakers anymore.
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This year’s legislative season is over and not without an assortment of pure craziness, as is often the case in California. Lobbyists and special interests’ representatives, and engaged citizens, are all waiting outside the legislative doors and the governor’s office just in case something comes up. Typically, they work in teams, so there is always someone there in the hallways just in case, while the other team member is going for coffee or a toilet break. Sometimes, the legislature stops the clock to give themselves a little extra time. It’s always chaos. Years ago, I think it was Chancellor Otto Von Bismarck who said, “Laws are like sausages: better not to see them being made.” He was right on.