Twas the night before New Years and all through the Dume Room
The Malibu-ites were toasting the year gone too soon.
The wetlands that Val dumped all over Ed’s plans
Most thought it was stupid — Martin thought it was grand.
The city hall grumblings and lawsuits galore
Just make sure your house paint is “Ruggles du jour.”
The stunned squirrel that Streisand had flung from her yard
With neighbors like that better move to the ‘Nard.
The drunk and disorderly thronging our streets,
No license or i.d.– just long rap sheets.
Day laborers waited all day — no one stops
‘Cause the one you pick up might turn out to be cops.
Great Western, I mean, Washington Mutual Bank
Gave out more free money — but the crook didnt say thanks.
The squid boats were fewer but still shinin’ their lights
In the eyes of the rich folks in their mansions at night.
Cindy and hubby side-swiped by a horse
Got glass in her eyes but it could’ve been worse.
El Nino — muy press! — but it wasnt that grave
Unless it was your house got whacked by a wave.
Yes, a year to remember — lets salute it with cheer
And think of the poems I’ll be writing next year.
And so as I knock back one final drink
Am I north in the southbound? No, I’m southbound, I think. . .