T’was II

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    Twas the night before New Years and all through the Dume Room

    The Malibu-ites were toasting the year gone too soon.

    The wetlands that Val dumped all over Ed’s plans

    Most thought it was stupid — Martin thought it was grand.

    The city hall grumblings and lawsuits galore

    Just make sure your house paint is “Ruggles du jour.”

    The stunned squirrel that Streisand had flung from her yard

    With neighbors like that better move to the ‘Nard.

    The drunk and disorderly thronging our streets,

    No license or i.d.– just long rap sheets.

    Day laborers waited all day — no one stops

    ‘Cause the one you pick up might turn out to be cops.

    Great Western, I mean, Washington Mutual Bank

    Gave out more free money — but the crook didnt say thanks.

    The squid boats were fewer but still shinin’ their lights

    In the eyes of the rich folks in their mansions at night.

    Cindy and hubby side-swiped by a horse

    Got glass in her eyes but it could’ve been worse.

    El Nino — muy press! — but it wasnt that grave

    Unless it was your house got whacked by a wave.

    Yes, a year to remember — lets salute it with cheer

    And think of the poems I’ll be writing next year.

    And so as I knock back one final drink

    Am I north in the southbound? No, I’m southbound, I think. . .

    Tom Fakehany