Remember the cartoon character with a toothache, bandana tied round his head holding an ice bag to his jaw? That’s me.
The toothache started Saturday while I was on the Green Homes Tour, a workshop sponsored by local sustainable builders. More of that later.
I had eaten a sandwich while riding on the bus between houses. No opportunity to brush, rinse or otherwise remove bits of cucumber, turkey, cheese or wheat berries from my flipper, a little retainer thingy replacing two front teeth that went missing a few months back.
Cleaning after meals, even snacks, is essential. But so is food, if I don’t want to faint in the middle of a newly installed, radiant heated, polished concrete floor. It wasn’t until the tour was over and I was home that I could extricate the remains of my lunch from the interdental spaces and wash the flipper. There was a twinge when I replaced it, but I shrugged it off and drove quickly to my daughter’s house to grandchild-sit while she went to see “August Rush” at the film festival. After dinner, I cleaned and replaced the flipper. Again the twinge. This time I gasp.
By the time I get home, I know there’s a problem, beyond the flipper feeling tight. An abscess maybe. Too tired to deal with it, I crash. But sleep eludes me. I get up and rinse with warm salt water, brush with diluted bleach (four drops of Clorox in a small glass of water), take a headache remedy.
In the morning, I suck on bromelain, Vitamin C, and rinse some more. Nothing is working. My tongue discovers a bumped-up spot below the gum line. I look in the mirror and my reflected image resembles Marlon Brando as the Godfather . . . or maybe half a chipmunk. That’s when I reach for the ice. Not the black-and-white-checkered bag of old, with a screw top to shove in the crushed ice. It’s the blue gel pack waiting in the freezer for sore muscles and turned ankles.
No bandana in sight, I wrap it in a dishtowel and hold it to the fat side of my jaw.
That’s when I spot the October issue of the AARP Bulletin. I’ll read just about anything when I’m stuck indoors and can’t walk to the library. The centerpiece reminds seniors that annual enrollment for Medicare’s medical and prescription drug plans begins in November. This reminds me that if I continue to spend so much time away from my home in California, I’ll probably have to switch from Kaiser (which has managed my health care for nearly three decades) to traditional Medicare. While Kaiser covers emergency medical expenses while traveling, they have no facilities in Montana. Besides, my longtime physician at Kaiser Woodland Hills has retired and my dermatologist says a shortage of doctors there is causing severe scheduling delays. Try six months.
So here’s the deal. The Bulletin is warning seniors about Medicare Advantage plans being offered by private insurers and aggressively (sometimes deceptively) marketed to old folks, like me.
I remember when I became old enough for Medicare; Kaiser switched me from regular membership (then $280 a month) to its Senior Advantage plan. Medicare deducts about $95 a month from my Social Security check and gives it to Kaiser whether I ever go there or not.
Well, based on complaints from readers, the Bulletin investigated and found widespread confusion among beneficiaries about Medicare insurance and how private Medicare Advantage plans work. Insurance commissioners of 37 states report thousands have been victims of illegal or unethical tactics used to sign them up for MA plans. Some were told original Medicare was “closing down” and they should join an MA plan to keep coverage. Others mistakenly thought they were buying “medigap” supplementary insurance. Some were told they could choose any doctor or hospital. Not so. Consumer advocates say new rules by the Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services don’t address underlying issues in the 2003 Medicare legislation that gave rise to the abuse in the first place. I remember at the time saying that poorly written law was as full of c**p as a Christmas goose.
And what we hear from the campaign trail, and from Congress dealing with a presidential veto of its SCHIP funding bill, may be just more of the same. You see, no politician with hopes of being nominated is bold enough to say that private insurance companies, which are beholden to their stockholders, hold the medical profession hostage. And lawyers play them all like a badly tuned accordion.
Hospitals overcharge those with insurance to help defray mandated costs of treating those without. Eventually the plug is pulled on emergency rooms and trauma centers, particularly those in poor neighborhoods. Preventive care, which would ultimately save millions, isn’t routinely covered. Doctors in private practice are refusing to take Medicare patients and certain insurance plans. Meanwhile, patients face waiting times of six months or more to see a dermatologist, or a dentist. Not in Canada or France with government-run healthcare. Here. Our government sponsors our right to choose a private health plan (insurer) rather than the actual treatment we need.
This is making my jaw throb.