flummox the spatially challenged
Enough already with the jokes about senior moments. That awkward mid-sentence gap while the brain searches for an often-used word or a name. I had those long before I admitted to membership in AARP. Alas, they’re more frequent now that I’ve crossed the real senior threshold. After the big seven-oh birthday they’re downright troubling.
So it was with more than passing interest that I read Susan Jacoby’s “Mind Aerobics: 10 ways to get your memory in shape” in the AARP Bulletin. She explains that only 5 percent of people over 65 develop Alzheimer’s. Well, that’s a relief. But what about those embarrassing memory glitches?
The brain cell that knew that word probably didn’t die. The word was more likely stuck somewhere between the part of the brain responsible for short-term memory, the hippocampus, and the prefrontal cortex, where long-term memories are stored. A mental traffic jam of sorts.
Scientists searching for a drug to improve memory aim to switch on the brain proteins that convert short- to long-term memory, Jacoby writes. Or they may find a drug that would block chemicals that impede this protein formation. Good luck to them but it’s not likely to be on the market in my lifetime.
And there’s also a question of ethics here. Should a drug like that be used only for patients whose memory problems interfere with daily life? To shorten the process of stroke rehabilitation? Or could a student use it to ace a final exam, or a Jeopardy contestant to win a bundle? If Jeopardy champ Ken Jennings had taken such a drug, would that have been cheating? Like sports stars taking steroids?
Meanwhile, it looks like I’ll have to exercise my hippocampus more. My prefrontal cortex already gets its daily workout from crossword puzzles and Jeopardy games.
The magazine’s 10-step memory workout is pretty much what I already do every day. Exercise regularly to increase blood flow and oxygen to the brain. Keep a healthy diet that avoids sugar and saturated fat and eat plenty of dark green leafy veggies for the magnesium that helps memory. Learn something new to stimulate neurons. Get plenty of sleep. Devise memory strategies like underlining passages as you read. Socialize because conversation helps. Jot down new information because writing helps transfer information from short- to long-term memory. Turn off those mind-numbing TV shows. The proliferation of sitcoms about teens and gross-out reality shows has left little worth watching anything but PBS. Oh, and forget answering your e-mail. Scientists recently found that regular e-mail use can diminish your IQ by 10 points. And solve brainteasers.
I decided to try the ones in the AARP Bulletin while flying to Montana. The first, called Hand Turn, shows six hand positions (none of which are the freeway salute). In 30 seconds, choose which of the six are right hands. Sounds simple, doesn’t it? The plane was somewhere over Idaho before I got it. And only after drawing strange looks from other passengers as I tried to contort my own right hand into those shapes. This must reflect my inability to master spatial relations and has nothing to do with memory at all.
The next exercise, Focus, gives 30 seconds to memorize a row of numbers then turn the page over and write them down. Then do the same with a row of letters. This I could do. Then I try to decipher a nine-word quotation with a symbol over each blank letter square. One symbol always stands for the same letter; however, they have absolutely nothing to do with the letter itself: a top hat stands for the letter A, a bell for S, an eyeball for an E, a smiley face for an I and three stars or asterisks for an R. Go figure. The other symbols meant nothing to me, just like the icons on my cell phone. I was totally flummoxed. Where’s the positive reinforcement in puzzles that just make one feel stupid?
The final exercise shows a list of 10 U.S. monuments and their locations on a map. I memorized the list quickly, no problem, then located them on the map, also no problem. The puzzle was just to see if the map helped you to remember the names on the list. My brain didn’t feel the workout on this one, but it was probably still trying to sort out those goofy icons.
The plane was landing at Bozeman before I recovered from the mental strain to say nothing of the blow to my self-esteem.
Though my brain seems clogged with facts and words for which I no longer have any use, I think I’ll focus on learning something new. Another language would be nice, but I’m still dealing with the confusion of English, French and Spanish. I’ve found it useful to confine the Spanish vocabulary to conversations with the gardener and French to restaurant menus, trains and hotels. This leaves more room in the brain for new stuff.
Now if I could only figure out which language was the basis for those damned icons.