Blog: Brain Enhancement

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Burt Ross

At my advanced age, I can use any kind of enhancement I can get, so you can imagine my extreme interest—make that delight—when I heard a commercial touting some product that would enhance my brain. Of all my bodily parts that need enhancement, most assuredly, my brain needs it the most.

Now, as I understand it with my limited brain capacity, there exists a product that, if taken regularly, will improve my memory, make my mind sharper and allow me to think more clearly. And heaven knows I desperately need assistance in all these areas.

You, my inquisitive reader, might want to know what is the magic ingredient in this product and where it comes from. The answer is “apoaequorin.” Do not ask me to pronounce this mouthful of a word. This tongue twister of an ingredient comes from, of all places, a jelly fish. No, I am not kidding—a jelly fish.

I have encountered jelly fish multiple times while swimming in the oceans of the world, and I have to be candid with you, I never looked at one of these gooey organisms and thought “before me is one damn smart creature.”

One day, I would like to know how it came about that a human being figured out something in a jelly fish makes you remember better. Quite frankly, this is exactly the kind of happening I would like to forget.

I could understand if one of the more intelligent animals such as a chimp or orangutan possessed an ingredient to help us think more clearly, but a jelly fish? Give me a break!

If I need the help of a jelly fish to get my brain functioning, then I think it’s time to give up the ghost and slide slowly into oblivion.