Letter: Make Wall Street Great Again

Letter to the Editor

The guy in the buckskin and buffalo horns is at it again. Only, this time he is using internet message boards to invade capital, instead of the Capitol. Using Vlad the Impaler, and his band of merry men, the investor militias have occupied Wall Street. Bobby Axelrod’s hedge fund protégé was relieved of $3 billion dollars of beer money in less than a week.

How did a bunch of guys living in their parents’ basements rob from the uber rich and keep it for themselves? They use the same algorithms that accelerate your Google searches for sourdough starter and indoctrinate you in the ways of Wahabi Islam. Also channeling Krav MAGA, rational investors begin to question how a money losing, mall based video store is now worth more than Delta Airlines.

These are only the initial shots fired in this new War of The Worlds. The final verdict is not yet written. QAnon members may be a bit easier to manipulate than bond traders at Goldman Sachs. Those brave patriots who bought Game Stop at its high, are now down 66 percent as of [last] Tuesday. Robinhood borrowed another $2.5 billion to make repairs on its old hideout in Sherwood Forest. The QAnon shaman posted this today on Reddit’s Wall Street Bets forum: “Stand firm my brothers, and remember: buy high and sell low. Or, maybe it’s the other way around. Whatever…”

Dan Bercu