Blog: Sex With a Porn Star Part II

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I think I am finally on to something. In early February, I wrote a column: “Sex with a Porn Star.” My readership increased so substantially (perhaps even exponentially) that, from here on in, I intend to use the words “sex” and “porn” in every one of my columns—with the exception of my Mother’s Day column. You have to draw a line somewhere. 

The purpose of my column “Part I” was simply to point out the overwhelming hypocrisy of the religious right, which looks the other way when it comes to Trump’s alleged adulterous affairs and other less-than-Christlike behavior. This column is more about the obvious lying and absurd attempts at cover-up that keep this sordid story alive and my readers interested.

The facts are pretty much in: Several months after Melania gave birth, Trump spent some time with a porn star named Stormy Daniels. What they did during their time together I will leave to your imagination. I can only assume they were colluding. I Googled “Stormy Daniels porn star,” and I can say unequivocally that Ms. Daniels is, in fact, a porn star (so sorry, make that “adult movie star”). Even though Ms. Daniels is no candidate for sainthood, her version of what happened seems quite credible. 

Trump, who normally has much to say about everybody and everything, has been strangely silent about Ms. Daniels. On the other hand, Trump’s personal lawyer and self-acclaimed fixer, Michael Cohen, had much to say on the subject until he got hit with a search warrant and was raided by the FBI. 

Now it gets tricky, so let me see if I have it right: Cohen admits to paying Stormy $130,000 in exchange for a non-disclosure agreement just a few days before the presidential election. Far more bizarre, Cohen claims he paid Ms. Daniels out of his own money, which he got by taking out a home equity loan, supposedly never told his client about the payment, signed the non-disclosure on behalf of his client (again not informing his client), and made it clear Trump never had sex with that woman. (Didn’t Bill Clinton say something like that?)

I wish I could find an attorney who would pay my bills. Then I would know for sure I had landed in heaven.

Trump supports his consigliere by saying he was unfamiliar with the agreement, knew nothing about the payment of money to Ms. Daniels, and besides there was NO COLLUSION! Trump ends all sentences with “NO COLLUSION!” 

As a former member of the New Jersey Bar, I have dealt with more lawyers than I want to remember, but I cannot recall ever hearing such a cock-and-bull story from anybody, let alone a fellow attorney. That a lawyer would pay “hush” money to an “adult movie star” without his client knowing it is not only preposterous but flagrantly unprofessional. To silence discussion of conduct that supposedly never happened makes absolutely no sense. 

None of this passes the smell test. Mr. Cohen need not take a lie detector test. As he spins his incredulous yarn, we all see Cohen’s nose grow bigger than Pinocchio’s ever did.

What Trump and Cohen have forgotten is that it is always the cover-up that bites you in the rear. Sometimes, just sometimes, the truth is better than a cover-up, and politicians including Trump should try it occasionally. All Trump had to say on the subject of this matter and others of a similar nature is, “I will not discuss or answer questions regarding my personal life. What I did or did not do 10 years ago is not relevant to my job as president.” Of course, he did not say anything remotely like that. 

And therein lies the problem. Trump can screw around with whomever he pleases. His third wife already sleeps in a separate bedroom. He is neither the first person nor, unfortunately, the first president who has fooled around. He could have come clean or simply shut up, but he should stop taking us for fools. He and his attorney have insulted our intelligence. We are fed up with this constant diet of obvious lies. Give us a break. Enough already!