The spy who tagged her


    I am writing to express how ridiculous and appalling the county sheriffs are for their vigilance in cracking down on topless sunbathers on Malibu beaches.

    For years I have known to avoid going topless on certain beaches. I’ve seen the sheriff helicopters, the horses and the teams of sheriffs ticketing topless women on secluded beaches. A few weeks ago I found, what appeared to be and was rumored to be, a beach where the sheriffs don’t bother topless sunbathers. This past weekend I went there with my boyfriend. This beach is secluded. It is a long walk from the parking area and one must crawl through two caves to get there. There were less than 10 other people on the beach, all adults. I was discreet and took my top off. We found a spot that was out of the view of most others and generally removed. We placed our belongings just next to me to block off the view further. One really had to work to see me. Furthermore, most of the time I laid on my stomach. We had not been there more than 30 minutes and two sheriffs arrived and ticketed me. They explained that, even though they saw me lying on my stomach, earlier a “spotter” disguised in beach wear had seen me sit up. They also said that they must ticket topless women because the people living in multimillion dollar homes up above object to topless women. These people don’t want to see it and they worry that (God-forbid!) children might see topless women.

    First, this seems like an incredible waste of taxpayer resources! With sheriffs and undercover agents collecting double time pay for weekend service, their horses and helicopters, a lot of money is being spent to please these folks who object to topless women. Over the years living in this area I have been robbed at gunpoint, had my home burglarized and had my car broken into. I have never witnessed such spic-n-span efficiency out of law enforcement. The sheriffs should spend their time on real crimes. If they don’t have any real crimes to work on, they should look for someone to help, perhaps a senior citizen who needs help crossing the street. Remember, their purpose is supposed to be to “Protect and Serve.”

    Second, I really object to their police state tactics. Undercover agents to catch topless women?!!! Give me a break! People go to the beach to enjoy the sun, the water and peacefulness. We don’t want to hear their loud helicopters (unless really necessary) or see sheriffs harassing people who are minding their own business. And we certainly don’t want to have to think that a spy might be watching.

    Third, the beach is public. Why do these rich folks who can afford the homes on the cliffs deserve better treatment than others on the beach. I really think most people don’t mind. If they mind, they can look the other way or go to another beach. The beach is no more theirs than anyone else’s.

    Last, this is all about a cultural hangup. In Europe women go topless on most beaches and no one thinks anything of it. What is so offensive about women’s breasts? And so what if children do see it? Why are we raising them to believe that breasts are dirty or evil? If children grew up understanding that breasts are natural they might grow up with more mature and respectful attitudes towards women.

    The sheriffs should not be wasting resources and employing Gestapo tactics to bust law-abiding citizens because some rich folks are culturally stuck in the Victorian age and want to impose their way of life on everyone else! Certainly the city of Malibu has more pressing needs to spend money on.

    Due to the nature of this, I won’t sign my real name. Just sign me —

    Criminal for Being Topless on a Secluded Malibu Beach