Blog: Condom Sales Soar

Burt Ross

I was watching James Corden on the Late Late Show when he informed his viewers that condom sales in the United States were booming now that Covid was subsiding. I seem to be getting my news from a talk show host. I told you I watch far too much television. 

He also mentioned that Girl Scout cookie sales were down 50% this past year. If I had made that news item the topic of this column, be honest, would you still be reading?

Prophylactics are in high demand because people are once again reconnecting both literally and figuratively. The birds and the bees business is back in high gear as lovers try to make up for lost time. And we know that no matter how many condoms are sold, all that “cuchi-cuchi” is going to result in population growth.

And we as a country desperately need to get back into the procreation business. The number of births in the U.S. fell 4% in 2020, dropping to the lowest level since 1979 continuing a downward trend in birth rates. It should come as no surprise to anybody who understands how babies get here (nothing to do with the stork) that social distancing is not remotely conducive to increasing our population. 

In fact, our fertility rate is declining at such a fast pace that we are not replacing ourselves. This fact does not bother me one little bit, since I do not like the concept of being replaced.

This precipitous drop in the birth rate during the pandemic followed by a possible sharp rise in the birth rate this year could lead to some rather strange results. What is going to happen to schools in a few years? I can imagine a second grade class with almost no kids followed the next year by a second grade class without enough desks.

As for jobs, if the economy continues to improve, companies will be hard put to fill the openings. Before this is all over, we might soon be begging immigrants to come here.