Burt's Eye View: Not for me

By Burt Ross · Sun Jun 14 2026

By Burt Ross, Columnist

I watch a whole lot of television, but almost never live. I record everything and fast-forward, thus avoiding the enormous number of commercials which seem like they are consuming more time than the actual program.

One day, I happened to watch a show which I had forgotten to record, and consequently was forced to watch a commercial for some off-road vehicle called a Land Rover Defender.

I thought at the time, and still think, that it is a strange name for a vehicle. Somehow, it connotes that you are being attacked and need a vehicle to defend yourself — something like an armored vehicle.

The commercial went something like this: a storm rolls over a remote mountain range. Thunder echoes. A muddy trail cuts through the wilderness. The narrator speaks in a deep but calm voice, “Some roads test you.” Then you see the Defender powering through deep mud, followed by its climbing over huge boulders.

If this weren’t all challenging enough, the Defender crosses water with waves crashing over its hood, and finally races through sand dunes at full speed. The commercial closes with the narrator saying, “This is more than an SUV. This is the Defender. Impossible is just terrain.”

After careful consideration, I have concluded that this car, truck, or whatever you want to call it, is not for me. I rarely drive over boulders or through streams. Most of the time, I drive no more than five minutes to Pavilions, to Chase, or to one of my favorite restaurants in the area. and all on beautifully maintained asphalt roads. I seriously doubt I need a tank to deliver my clothes to Suzy at the local cleaners. I think I’ll pass on the Defender and will return to my practice of fast-forwarding through commercials.