Another perspective

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    Re: gun and bomb incidents, week of Oct. 4-8

    Dear Malibu High School parents,

    Last time we met in this auditorium, we met about sexual education. Violence and illicit sex are virtually the same issue because they both emanate from hatred, as do drug and alcohol indulgence. I work on a weekly basis with young and old that are self-admittedly infected with hatred, and I have heard repeated testimony for years that these four are symptoms are of the same.

    Our society is riddled with hatred. Our marriages, friendships, and business relationships are ruled by secret and open judgment. Rarely do you see a discerning person that can stand still and talk about problems without becoming self-righteously emotional. Emotion clouds the ability to see things as they are and renders one helpless in making the right decisions.

    Children are not born haters. They learn this from their environment — predominantly their parents. A few impatient moments (evidence of hatred) can implant themselves in a child and he or she soon learns to hate. The slightest pressures from anywhere — school, to get grades; sports, to excel; peer pressure, to live up to peer expectations — can cause a child to hate. Any signs of impatience, anger, frustration or upset are signs that something is gravely wrong, now. It must be addressed with love, patience, and understanding, for as long as it takes to resolve it — sometimes months or years.

    The measure of a parent’s love is to what lengths he or she will go to attend to their child. A parent must face his or her responsibility to become the person that he or she is ultimately meant to be. Divorce, affairs, alcoholism and drugs are not options because children see clearly at age 6 the hypocrisy of a parent’s actions and this, in itself, carries deep hatred in a child.

    We have become a society of mutated human beings. We were not meant to function as haters of one another. Disease, mental illness and premature death are side effects of this behavior. We must investigate hatred — as the ultimate cause of all problems — as a group, identify it, learn as adults how to deal with it and, in turn, teach our children. But instead of discerning hatred and merely observing it, we deal with it by hating back. By not hating back, by withholding your emotional reaction, you expose the hater for what he really is.

    The school is the last bastion of protection for each child. The protection is as good as its weakest link (the child with the most hate). I brought the hatred issue to Mr. Matthews’ attention two years ago. He acknowledged the problem but has done little to effectively deal with it. Wisdom is the ability to see what’s down the road and act on it. I heard very little last Tuesday night that led me to believe that the Malibu High administration has an understanding about the cause and resolution to this problem. I believe that the above is evidence that I have an understanding of the problem. I am prepared to bring experts to the Governance Council and the school to deal with it effectively.

    Forrest Stewart