Aren’t you glad?

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    For all of you in Malibu

    Who live on Hillside Slopes —

    Aren’t you glad you’re not a target,

    By the “wetland’s planning folks?”

    They cannot say your land is clay,

    Nor home for wetlands birds.

    But I’m sure they’ll think of something,

    To disturb you that’s absurd.

    The rumors go, from “in the know,”

    That the Malibu Mountain Fox,

    Will soon make the endangered list,

    And put us on the spot.

    Meanwhile, I hear that the “run-off law”

    For excessive winter rains —

    Will provide an excuse for their abuse,

    To target your domain!

    At least for now, you’re safe somehow,

    Until that wily bunch —

    With their wetlands mumbo jumbo,

    Decide you’re next to crunch.

    Phineas P. Fogbottom