DO AND DIET: the 10-pound test weight
By Jody Stump
Every woman I know suffers from “Ten Syndrome,” the ego’s deadly deceit that she needs to lose some aspect of Ten-10 pounds, 10 inches, 10 years. Many would be happier with 20, a few are content with less, but dissatisfaction with the shape of one’s body is a congenital defect carried in mitochondrial DNA. That extra X chromosome that makes the gender female carries the genetic marker for fear of excess weight, dress size, or age. Take, for example, my rail-thin friend Deb who so obsesses on the subject she took a lift here and a bit of lipo there.
Men do not seem afflicted by similar distress. A man can walk around with what looks like a soccer ball implanted in his gut and it doesn’t bother him much, but let a woman pinch an extra inch on her waist and it’s “Agh! Ugleeee!”-not just to her, but, seemingly, to the world at large. I glanced at a tabloid headline today and read, “Oprah’s Butt Grows 3 Inches”. That she’s attractive, accomplished and a billionaire on her own merits is of little interest-it’s her butt size that imperils Oprah’s worth to the readers of America. Agh!
Well, last week, I experienced my own “Agh!” when I came face to face with personal Reality when I went shopping for a swimsuit-“Uglee!” It’s time for Corporeal Renewal.
In the spirit of a less than extreme makeover, I have embarked on a six-week, Ten-test to see if I can lose 10 pounds, 10 inches and 10 years using the latest techniques recommended by Malibu experts. Before I started, I set myself some rules: no pain deeper than a twinge; no dietary depression brought on by deprivation; and absolutely no blood. That meant years would have to drop off like pages on a calendar through dermatological stimulation, not by nip-and-tuck. To lose those pesky pounds, I am eschewing starvation diets and choosing a plan that includes foods I really like, in portions adequate to my sense of fulfillment. I decided to trim inches by amp’ing up my exercise routine with activities I like to do, and could commit to do, at least three times a week. And, to make sure I stuck to my plan, I am “going public” and enlisting you, dear Reader, as my score-keeping witness.
What am I doing?
Atkins, Thermage, hiking and Curves.
I must be a very primitive person because the Agricultural Revolution bypassed my metabolism. I simply do not process carbs very well. One cookie causes a permanent bulge on my hip-in fact, I need to eat two to balance it out-so Atkins is my diet choice. My “face-lift” will be Thermage, a noninvasive technique newly approved by the FDA and offered by Malibu’s board-certified dermatologist, Mary Lee Amerian. It works by heating up subsurface collagen, causing the strands stretched by gravity to shrink. Skin tightens and sags lift from the inside out. Curves is a Malibu newcomer, a women-only circuit-training gym located on Point Dume. Part of a hugely popular franchise network that promises fun and toning in 30-minute sessions, its best feature may be its drop-in nature-come anytime, trot through the program and wave goodbye.
So goodbye for this week. I’ll keep in touch.
GRILLED SALMON
One of America’s most wonderful delicacies is in season. Copper River salmon are running-right into our neighborhood markets. The texture is silky and the flavor so sweet, it’s hard to believe it is the same species as the farm-raised fish we buy year-round. Yes, it’s expensive, but you’re worth it.
(Adapted from “The New Basics”)
Marinade:
4 Tbs. unsalted butter, melted
2 Tbs. vegetable oil
1/3 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup honey
2 Tbs. fresh lemon juice
Pinch red pepper flakes
1 tsp. liquid smoke
2 pound center-cut salmon fillet
1. Combine first seven ingredients and pour over salmon. Rest 30 minutes.
2. Sear salmon over a hot grill, skin side up. Cook 4 – 6 minutes and flip for another few minutes. Do not overcook.
3. Serve with melted butter or beurre noir. Sauces would gild the lily.